IMPORTANT THINGS TO KNOW

Pretty much everyone I know has good intentions - to start walking - to eat more balanced - to begin a new hobby - to learn a language - to name a few. Lots of talk. Sometimes not a whole lot of action.

A few months after Randy passed away in 2014 - three Jolliffe grandchildren were born - Adele and Ian - in January/2015 and Tyson in April/2015. We found out that Adele and Ian were on the way shortly before Randy died and Tyson - shortly after. All three babies were highly anticipated and welcomed.

We waited patiently (sometimes not so patiently) for sweet Delly to arrive. Life is all about waiting isn’t it! Parents wait for their children to be born. Then they can’t wait until the kids are sleeping through the night. Then they wait until they can send them to preschool. Then big kid school. Then they can’t wait until they are in middle school. Finally high school. Moms and Dads can’t wait until the teens are driving. Then they wait through long evenings waiting for the car to drive into the garage and everyone is safe inside. Then they can’t until their young adults head to college or university. Then they wait for those kids to find a spouse. Then the kids get married and they wait for the grandchildren to arrive. Then they count the days until their own retirement.

WAIT WAIT WAIT

Some people wait to get married, then they wait for the divorce to come through so they can get married again. Others wait to sell their house so they can buy another house. Some wait for medical test results. Some wait for their prodigals to come home. Others wait for their children to leave home. Still others wait to see if they can have children. Some can’t wait for the start of hockey season and others can’t wait until the last whistle of the last game of the playoffs. Lots of people wish for Friday afternoon at 5pm and others wait for Monday at 9am so they can get back to work. Some never stop working and others never start working - always waiting for the perfect job.

WAIT WAIT WAIT

I wrote this on August 29 of 2014 (7 weeks after Randy passed away) “He (God) doesn’t ask us if we want to go through this or that - this difficulty or defeat - the loss of a loved one or job or relationship. God allows these things for His own purpose. The things we go through either make us sweeter, better or nobler men and women or they make us more critical and fault finding and more insistent on our own way. The things that happen either make us angry or they make us more gentle, depending entirely on our relationship with God and its’ level of intimacy. I know God is working according to His wisdom and will accomplish what is best for me. When I understand God’s purpose, I will not become small minded and cynical.”

These good intentions - this waiting for the next thing - have to become way more intentional for me - and I’m not speaking of a diet plan or exercise plan - although those things are pretty important too. When I was in the waiting period after Randy died - I purposed - I was intentional about putting the following things into practice. It became my practice then and still is today.

#1. Be Kind. To your spouse. To your kids. To your parents. To your friends. To your dog. To the people in your neighbourhood. To the irritating driver who cuts you off. To the grocery clerk. To your kid’s teacher. To your kid’s principal. Say nice things to each other. Do good things for each other. Offer to babysit for a young family. Make someone laugh. Host an informal get together. Make a care package and deliver it to someone in need. Take someone out for lunch. Let someone jump the queue at the grocery store. Buy a coffee to the car behind you in the line. Send flowers to a friend. Nobody likes a meanie.

#2. Learn to Share. Your toys. Your books. Your food. Your house. Your money. Your skills. Your time. Your feelings. Nobody likes a hoarder who keeps everything to themselves. The lives of those who don’t share are empty and meaningless. It’s way more fun to have a little together than much alone.

Remember the story of the Stone Soup? In a nutshell - a traveller arrived in a village and no one welcomed him or shared with him. The villagers hoarded their food and possessions. The stranger began to make a “stone soup” to share with all of them. He filled the pot with water - added the stone - and set it on the fire. He stirred it and kept remarking how tasty the soup would be. The villagers gathered around and he suggested that it would taste even better if someone added some carrots - and potatoes - and meat. Before long the villagers brought their meagre supply of veggies and donated them to the soup. In no time the variety of nutritious ingredients was ready and the village shared a delicious meal.

It’s important to be interconnected with your “village”.

#3. Look people in the eye. It’s so important that when people speak to you - you acknowledge them and make eye contact with them. It’s the most wonderful - heart-warming thing - to look into the eyes of a friend to establish emotional connection.

I remember my first meeting with Harvey. It was quite magical. We had emailed each other for several weeks before we met at a coffee shop - finally putting a face to the letters we had written. We sat for hours - across the table - sipping on our coffee - talking - talking - talking - sharing our life stories and not taking our eyes off of each other. How awkward would it have been if one of us had looked beyond the other - or kept their eyes down on their laps. Our coffee date quickly led to lunch dates and quickly led to our engagement and marriage.

Nothing worse than chatting with someone and they are looking everywhere but at you as if they would rather be in conversation with someone else.

#4. Don’t be a quitter. There are many lessons to learn at a young age and we can still learn as we age. When you start a project - finish it. Initiate - clearly check out what you want to do. Plan - create a plan for timelines and milestones. Execution of the plan - start putting it into practice. Monitor Progress - track momentum and make adjustments. Conclude the Project - wrap it up.

Several years ago I wanted to learn to quilt (before my mom passed away). I called my Mom and she told me what material to buy - start by cutting out 4 & 1/2 inch squares - sew them into strips - sew the strips into a quilt top - attach the batting and back sheet together - begin quilting. The project took me 6 years but I’ll never forget the night I finished it. All those long winter evenings - watching the Leafs and Raptors - little by little - the tiny stitches into the fabric became my quilt. There were a few times I wanted to abandon the project but “I’m not a quitter”.

#5. Know that Life isn’t fair. There will always be someone better off than you and someone worse off. Don’t compare yourself to others. Don’t compare your life to other’s lives. Somethings happen in the course of a lifetime that are awesome and wonderful and you’ll feel on top of the world. At some point in the course of a lifetime - things just don’t go well and you’ll be tempted to whine and complain. Don’t.

I remember a long time ago when Zac was in grade five. He wrote a great speech about living with asthma. He wrote it himself - practiced saying it a thousand times - and was chosen to represent his school at the next level of competition. In fact - he kept qualifying at the competitions until it was the very last one before the provincials. As he was delivering his speech - the father of the other participant suddenly developed a “very loud, persistent and distracting cough”. Zac was thrown off and the other participant was chosen to qualify for the provincials. We were all disappointed but it was a lesson in this very thing - life isn’t always fair. Just recently - Zac made a fabulous presentation for his company at a conference - he’s still making great speeches.

#6. Colour outside the lines. Sometimes - do something different - out of the ordinary. Buy the boots. Book the trip. Order the dessert. Call your long lost friend. Test drive a fancy car. Cheer the loudest at the game. Forgive and forget. Outdo another in showing honour. Don’t take revenge. If your enemy is hungry - feed him; if he is thirsty - give him something to drink. Don’t be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.

#7. Show affection. Hug and kiss - a lot. Always say “I love you” to the important people in your life. Always kiss your parents or siblings or spouse “good night”. Hugs are always good. Life is too short to be mad and grumpy. It’s also lonely. Don’t wait until it’s too late to show someone that you care for them.

This is my purpose. This is why I’m here on this earth. I’ll never discover a cure for cancer. I’ll never run a marathon. I’ll never climb Mount Everest. But I will live! I will live life to the fullest - in my family - in my community - in my church. I will repair and restore. I will continue to build and rebuild. I will say “I love you” and “I’m sorry”. I will be more nobler and sweeter - not demanding my own way - not small minded nor cynical. I will live.

WE ARE FAMILY!

“We are family - I got all my sisters with me - We are family - Get up everybody and sing - We are family - I got all my sisters with me - We are family -Get up everybody and sing

Everyone can see we′re together -As we walk on by - (And) we fly just like birds of a feather - I won't tell no lie - all of the people around us they say - Can they be that close? - Just let me state for the record - We're giving love in a family dose.”

And then there were eight.

“We are family Hey, hey - I got all my sisters with me and my brothers with me -We are family -Sing it, sing it to me - Get up everybody and sing Whoo, c'mon everybody.” (Sister Sledge)

We started with nine!

I love my siblings. I have eight of them - five brothers and three sisters. This weekend we will have a sibling get together to celebrate our oldest sister’s 85th birthday and our brother-in-law’s 85th.

My parents - Stan and Alice - married in August, 1938. The kids started coming in August of 1940 and that trend didn’t stop for 18 years…….Marilyn (1940) - Bob (1943) - Susan (1945) - Brenda (1947) - Harry (1950) - Ted (1951) - Philip (1953) - Tim (1955) and me (1958). Our parents raised us to love Jesus, the local church and each other. I’m reminded of a quote by the mother of the great hymn writers/pastors - John and Charles Wesley! Susanna Wesley and her husband - Samuel - had 19 children - 9 of which died as infants. They lived in the early 1700’s and this is what Susanna said - “Though the raising of so many children must create abundance of trouble and will perpetually keep the mind employed as well as the body - yet consider that it is no small honour to be entrusted with the care of so many souls. It will certainly be no little accession to the future glory to stand forth in the last day and say “Lord, here are the children which Thou hast given me, of whom I have lost none by my ill example - nor by neglecting to install in their minds, in their early years - the principles of Thy true religion and virtue.”

Susanna - as did our parents - taught us these same virtues - gratefulness to God - kindness to siblings - how to pray - the importance of Scripture memorization and dependance on God’s provision.

We’ve had our share of joy through the years and shared some sorrow too.

The call came on a Sunday night - just after midnight - the early hours of July 25th, 1994. I could tell from Randy’s voice that it was bad news - someone had died. As I listened I thought - probably someone from our church family - not ever imagining in a thousand years that it was my beloved big brother - Tim. My brother Ted was making the calls to each of us siblings - relating the very sad news - Tim had drowned Sunday afternoon in the McKenzie River.

I remember being stunned when Randy shared the story - or at least all that Ted knew so far. I was in shock. I got out of bed and my legs gave way. I felt like I was going to be sick to my stomach. I couldn’t believe the news.

We prayed - for Lorraine - the kids - my parents - our siblings - Tim’s friends - and tried to go back to sleep but sleep would not come that night and for many nights to come.

In the morning - we told our boys. They were young. Their hearts broke for my heart.

More important - I knew that four of my siblings had met on that Monday morning at my parent’s home - near Westport to break the news to my mom and dad…..they didn’t phone them in the middle of the night but would tell them face to face. Marilyn, Brenda, Phil and Ted met on the cottage road and wouldn’t you know it - my Dad was already walking their dog in the cool of the early morning - 7 am. Obviously, when he saw the four of them, my Dad knew that something was up. After they told him - his thoughts and words were only for Mom. ‘“Oh, Al! She’ll be devastated!” The five of them (and the dog) walked up the cottage road hill and Mom saw them from the kitchen window……”what?”

My siblings shared the news and Mom just kept saying - “Timmie. Timmie. Timmie!” Her beloved youngest son was dead.

As siblings we made the long journey north to Red Lake - to comfort Tim’s wife and children and to comfort each other. We stood together by his coffin and greeted his friends and co-workers and neighbours. We buried our beloved brother. We were Castle Strong!

Dad’s 90th birthday.

“To the outside world we all grow old but not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always did!” (Clara Ortega) “

We’ve gone on road trips together - vacationed together - cottaged together - camped together - played together - golfed together - cheered on our favourite teams - eaten together - prayed together - cried together.

One thing we’ve never done - been angry with one another - held a grudge against one another - not spoken to each other - we are CASTLE STRONG.

When Randy died in 2014, my siblings were heartbroken for me. They shared my deep sorrow. They mourned with me. On the day of Randy’s burial in Westport they supported - not just me - but my sons as well. My brother - Ted - phoned me a few months before he passed away in 2023 to tell me something that had happened on that hot July day in Westport - where we buried Randy. My son, Zac, had slipped away from the crowd of people and was standing by himself - heartbroken, grieving, in pain - across the street - from the church. Ted noticed! Ted walked over to Zac - wrapped his arms around him - and held him while the tears poured down Zac’s face. No words were spoken for a very long time - only the power and love of an uncle’s arms around a broken nephew. As Ted recounted that story to me - we cried together - I couldn’t ever imagine a time that my siblings were not part of my life.

When Harv and I married in 2016 - all of them were there - with bells on - so happy for me to find love once again and not have to grow old alone. That same brother Ted phoned Harv one evening before our wedding and lovingly (with a tiny threat) - suggested that Harv never - ever - hurt his little sister! Another time - another brother - Bob - sat on a bench in Florida with Harv (while Lynn and I shopped) and with tears in his eyes - told Harv how grateful he was that Harv and I were married. You can’t make this stuff up. Castle Strong!

I’ve learned so much from my siblings - sometimes by asking them questions and other times by watching their lives! Marriage is for keeps! How to parent with patience and love. How to sew and knit! How to hit a 6 iron! How to play euchre and cribbage! How to train for a half marathon! That it’s okay to toss a half a glass of coke at your spouse when they are cheating at cards! How to be gracious when life is tough. The rules of all sports. How to hope when things look hopeless. How to finish something I’ve started. How to share with others less fortunate. How to tip wait staff. These things and so much more.

Another call came…..on a Saturday morning in February of 2023…...from my brother Ted himself. The pain and weight loss he had experienced - was cancer. We talked briefly and he encouraged us to be strong. The cancer took over his body quickly and less than 90 days later - Ted’s faith was sight. He was Home - in Heaven. We grieved with his wife and children and grandchildren. We grieved with each other. We grieved but not as those who have no hope. Our hope is that we will be together once again - in heaven. It’s good we are Castle Strong!

There’s a good reason we are united - together - one mind - blended - molded to each other. In fact - 169 reasons. Our family tree numbers 169 now. Even to the fourth generation, they will be reminded that their parents and aunties and uncles stood solid together - Castle Strong!

READY! SET! GO!

I loved the first day of school - new dress - new shoes - fresh pack of pencil crayons - sharpened - walking the familiar route with my best friend - excited - routine - crisp autumn air - I can picture my childhood. I loved walking into the classroom and finding my desk - the neat pile of books stacked there - math book - science book - speller - readers - history - geography - french - different coloured notebooks ready to be named - singing O Canada - reciting the Lord’s Prayer at the start of the day - meeting the new kids - I remember these things as if it were yesterday.

How have 62 years passed since my first day of kindergarten?

This is my prayer for BACK TO SCHOOL - 2025! (Borrowed from Her View From Home.)

Please let this year be gentle with our children. Fill them with confidence. Surround them with joy. Protect them in every hallway and classroom.

Make their minds curious and keep their hearts soft. Let them know they belong, exactly as they are. May they feel how deeply and truly - how loved they are.

Send them teachers who notice small wins and appreciate unseen effort. Provide them with friends who stay close on the good days and even closer on the hard ones.

Shower them with laughter and joy and all the fun of growing up.

Place in their hearts dreams big enough to chase - and faith real enough to believe they can.

And when the final bell rings, bring them safely home to the arms that love them most!

To my grandchild’s teacher (author unknown) -

As we start this new school year - I just want to say thank you in advance.

Thank you for choosing a job that is so much more than a job. Thank you for showing up for the kids who aren’t yours, and loving them like they are.

Thank you for being patient on the days when learning feels hard - for giving grace when they forget their homework - for understanding that some kids walk into your classroom carrying more than a backpack. Some carry worry. Some carry heartbreak. Some carry things too heavy for their little shoulders - yet they still show up.

Thank you for noticing - for looking beyond the test scores - the behaviour charts - the checkboxes - and seeing the actual child.

This year, you’ll be so much more than a teacher. You’ll be a safe place when life feels scary. You’ll be the voice that tells them they’re safe. You will shape how they see themselves, even when you don’t realize it yourself. Years from now, when they’re grown, they’ll still remember how you made them feel because that’s what teachers do. You leave fingerprints on hearts, not just papers.

So before the chaos begins, please know this - what you do matters more than you’ll ever see in a paycheque - it matters more than the test scores or standards - it matters in the eyes that light up when you call them by name - it matters in the confidence they carry because someone believed in them.

Here’s to a school year filled with grace, growth and kids who feel seen, heard, and deeply loved because of you.

Thank you. From a very grateful Grammie.

I loved school. I attended West Front Public school for Kindergarten - Grade two - Gladstone Public School for the last part of Grade two through Grade six - Central Public for Grades seven and eight and St. Lawrence High School for Grades 9 -13. My favourite subjects were gym - literature - music - history and geography. I struggled through physics and math but with a lot of help from teachers and friends made it through. I sang in choirs - played on sports teams - participated in musicals and plays - dissected a frog (yucky) in science class and was student council president in Grade 13. I went to OFSSA for badminton three years in a row. I remember my teachers being encouraging and kind. It was good. It was better than good.

Beginning next Tuesday morning - at 8:15 - I promise I’ll be praying for the principals - the teachers and my grandchildren - as they head out the door. It’s a promise. I’ll set my phone alarm and I won’t let them down. I’ll do my part and I pray that each of them will do their part.

And to my grandchildren - three heading into high school - two heading into middle school - and five heading to elementary school - Harv has three heading to high school and two going to primary school. I pray you’ll remember these things and put them into practice -

• In a compromised culture - stand for the truth

• In a cancelled culture - fight for your friends

• In a self-centred culture - walk humbly

• In a wavering world - trust God to give you unshakeable confidence

• In a faithless culture - be trustworthy - dependable - committed - steadfast

It’s going to be a great year!

FAITHFULNESS

My granddaughter - Indigo - comes over to our house most Sundays after church. She always asks. We always say yes! We have lunch - usually - noodles with butter - or grilled cheese - fresh red peppers - ice cream! We play games - skippo - quix - are the favourites right now. During the games, Indy likes to use Spotify and play her favourite songs. We go for a walk to the park or on the beach to the Boiler. We often watch a movie together - I nap a little bit! Then it’s time to go home.

A few weeks ago while we were out for our walk, somehow the conversation came around to when Indigo gets married - I told her I want to dance at her wedding. She quipped back quite quickly that “I’d probably be dead” (when she got married)! Smartiepants. That quip led to a conversation and I told Indigo that I want the song - THE GOODNESS OF GOD - sung by CC Winans played at my funeral. You know the time in the service when they scroll the pictures of your life? That song with the pictures!

I love You, Lord
For Your mercy never fails me
All my days, I've been held in Your hands
From the moment that I wake up
Until I lay my head
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

'Cause all my life You have been faithful
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

I love Your voice
You have led me through the fire
In darkest night You are close like no other
I've known You as a Father
I've known You as a Friend
And I have lived in the goodness of God, yeah

'Cause all my life You have been faithful, oh yes You have
And all my life You have been so, so good
With every breath that I am able
Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God

I’ve seen God’s faithfulness all my life - just like the song says. I know how trustworthy God has been. How dependable He’s been. He’s always been the fourth Man in the fire. In the dark hours of the night - He’s been my comfort. How do I know these things? I’ve experienced it. Firsthand.

Randy and I graduated from Tyndale Bible College and Seminary in April, 1980. We began our local church ministry in September of the same year in Orillia, Ontario. Our senior pastor was Bud Hooper and his wife, Diane, and they were the most amazing senior pastor and wife to begin our ministry under. We learned so much from them - how to love our people - how to care for them - how to be gracious under stress - how to trust.

Randy’s salary wasn’t huge and early in our ministry there, I was soon expecting our first child. I didn’t work outside the home, so we depended solely on Randy’s income. We didn’t make a lot of money.

So, how did we experience God’s faithfulness? We got paid once a month - and most months - there was more month than money. By the fourth week of the month - we would have little left for groceries - so - I would pray that we would be invited out for supper or lunch or even breakfast - and - without a doubt - our calendar would fill up with invitations from our church members. Another example of God’s provision and faithfulness? In November of 1981, when I was 7 months pregnant with Zac, a delivery truck showed up in our driveway. A young man came to the door and informed me he was delivering a washing machine and a dryer! (I had been taking our clothes to the laundry mat). Someone in our church knew this and bought these two new machines so I wouldn’t have to lug our dirty clothes and soon - new baby - to the laundry mat! That washer and dryer lasted 25 years. To this day I don’t know who God asked to buy that for us. What an enormous blessing that was to us. One more example comes to mind! A doctor’s wife in our church (still in Orillia) took me under her wing……and each and every spring and fall……for several years - would take me shopping for new clothes. She would hand me $500. cash and help me find things that suited me. She knew I needed to attend events with Randy and didn’t have the clothes to wear. I’ll never forget her generosity and her obedience to God’s prompting to bless me. I was more than grateful.

It wasn’t just material blessings though! Many times we received encouraging notes and letters from our church. They encouraged us to keep relying on God’s faithfulness even during difficult times - to trust God always even in the storms of life - to have unshakeable confidence in God even when the world and our culture seemed to waver.

We saw God’s faithfulness when our kids were sick…..and we trusted in the Great Physician for healing…..when our hearts tugged at us to call the doctor - not to delay. Once when Ben was just past two, he was sick for a few days……fever, stomach upset, not eating or drinking much. It was the summer time. I took him to Emergency and after running a few tests, they told me he didn’t have an infection - he would be himself in a day or two. Two days would pass and he wasn’t himself. I took him back to the hospital and this time the doctor didn’t send us home. Ben was admitted for dehydration. He needed “intravenous” for a couple of days before he was himself again. Zac developed asthma as a young boy and more than once we made a trip to the hospital - it seemed - in the middle of the night. When Zac was about 7 or 8 we were referred to a special in London and Dr. Ecklestone and his team made a tremendous difference in Zac’s fight with asthma. He often called me to check in on Zac.

Our church here in Kincardine is doing a series this summer on the fruit of the Spirit. Our pastor has challenged us each Sunday with this thought - “the fruit of the Spirit should be the characteristics of Christians because the fruit are the character of God.” Things like - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness and then, this past week - faithfulness.

I never imagined that Randy would die in his 50’s. I never imagined I would be a widow at 56! I never imagined I would meet someone new! I never imagined I would remarry! I never imagined I would move to Kincardine! I never imagined I would add bonus children and grandchildren to my life. I didn’t imagine any of these things but they all happened and through each stage - God remained faithful to me. Isaiah 26:3 - (My Mom’s favourite verse) says: “You will keep her in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You.”

I don’t know what the future holds but I know Who holds my future. And so - Indy - I may or may not be around in twenty years to dance at your wedding - but I might be - I hope I am - I pray I am. But if I’m not - remember to play the song at my service! Remember our conversation! It’s my testimony. It’s my song! It’s my truth.

KIDS THESE DAYS

Kids these days are different from us!

Remember growing up in the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s! We rode in cars with no seat belts or air bags. We rode in the back of the car - loose! We drank water from the garden hose. We shared our soft drink with all our friends (and no one died). We ate cakes, white bread with real butter and drank pop but we weren’t overweight - we were always outside playing. We would leave the house in the morning - come home for lunch - go back outside until supper - and then outside until the street lights came on. Our parents didn’t worry about us - we were in the neighbourhood somewhere. We climbed trees - sometimes fell out of them - played with worms and mud pies made from the dirt - made up games with sticks and tennis balls - and although we were told it would happen - we did not poke out any eyes. We rode our bikes to our friend’s houses and knocked on the door or just walked right in. We had freedom - failure - success - responsibility and we learned how to deal with it all.

Kids these days are different from us! And that’s okay! Every generation that has ever lived has been different from the one before and the one after. And that’s okay! Being different is fine. Each family in each generation has the wonderful task and responsibility to raise their kids accordingly.

My mother-in-law and my mother were so gracious to me when I was raising my children. They gave advice when I asked. They helped where they could. They were encouraging and loving and an inspiration to me and they allowed me the opportunity to parent my boys the way I thought best for my family. Of course - it was very similar to the way they parented. I learned from the best.

When it was my time to be the grandparent and not the mother - I read a sentence in a book that resonated with me - “You, dear woman, had the opportunity to raise your family - in your way - in your time - - - now, give your children that same opportunity to raise theirs! You might not always agree with the methods or standards or guidelines in their homes, but it’s their home! Your role now is to encourage, love, pray, bless and commend!” And that’s what I try to do - encourage, love, pray, bless and commend.

Regardless of what generation you grew up in or living in the generation that is upon us - I love that Solomon - the wisest man who ever lived - gives us fantastic advice for children and their parents. My Dad - Stan Castle - was asked once to give the speech at a wedding and he said this - “May you both have the patience of Job - the wisdom of Solomon - and the children of Israel!” Patience and wisdom being the key parts to Dad’s advice! King Solomon asked the Lord for wisdom rather than riches or power but God gave him all three.

While achievements are important, King Solomon emphasized the need to prioritize a child’s heart and character - encouraging building kindness, compassion, gratefulness, generosity and to appreciate blessings in their lives.

Here are the things Randy and I instilled in the lives of our sons when we were young parents!

#1. Relationship and trust in God. Proverbs 3:5,6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths.” Our sons attended church and Sunday school from Day one - almost from the first week of their lives. We taught them early to love God and to love the local church. We taught them to depend on God - to pray about everything - to be thankful for His good gifts to our family.

#2. Having integrity and honesty. Proverbs 28:6 “Better is a poor man who walks in integrity than a rich man who is crooked in his ways.” Teaching children to be honest and trustworthy is crucial for their well-being and for the benefit of those they live with. Imagine having all the money in the world but being a liar and a cheat?

#3. All about wisdom. Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” The values and principles that are instilled in a toddler/young child will shape their lives as adult. This training involves teaching them to discern right from wrong, make wise choices and to live with integrity. So needed in every generation….men and women who are wise. The habits, beliefs and behaviours we instill during a child’s formative years have a lasting impact.

#4. About work. Proverbs 6:6 “Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways and be wise.” When the boys were young, they had jobs to do around the house and those jobs were charted on the fridge…..stickers indicated the completion of each job….a reward (payday) was given when the required number of stickers was reached. They learned early they had responsibilities - make their beds - put away toys and sports equipment - wash or dry the dishes - show gratefulness - etc. They learned to work in small ways so that when the big chores came along, they were ready - in school - in sports - while working at camps - in their grown up life.

#5. Model it! Proverbs 20:7 “The righteous who walks in his integrity - blessed are his children after him.” Children watch everything a parent does and they take their cues from them. When spouses love each other - their kids see this. How parents speak to others and about others - kids hear that. Our kids are watching our every move - they will watch what we watch - they will read what we read - they will speak what we speak - they will go where we go.

My very favourite proverb that King Solomon wrote is this - “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23. Another version puts it this way - “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” Our heart is the source of all decisions, emotions and actions. So much is riding on keeping the hearts of our children free from destructive influences. Randy and I wanted our voice to ring in the ears of our sons - not the media - not their friends - not the environment - our voice.

Regardless of the generation I grew up in or the generation my sons grew up in or now, the generation my grandchildren are growing up in - these truths of King Solomon do not change. God help us to pray for - encourage - cheer on these dear ones to walk in the ways of wisdom - act justly - love mercy and walk humbly.

MAKE GOOD MEMORIES - JOLLIFFE CAMP #13 IN THE BOOKS

Over and over again in my mind - I hear my Mom’s voice - “make good memories!”

When my Mom lived with Harv and I for the last three months of her life, she spent most of her time in bed. She was 100 and a half. She would say while her body was frail and failing her - her mouth could still work very well. And - while her short term memory was pretty pooched - she could remember events from 95 years ago. She repeated the same seven or eight stories over and over again. When she wasn’t telling us those stories, she would rest - not sleeping but eyes closed - and I knew she was thinking of days gone by. Sometimes her frustration would leak out and she would lament that she was only a fragment of her former self. This same woman who bore 9 children - raised them on my dad’s salary - cooked and baked for eleven plus every meal - washed the clothes in a wringer washer - and then hung them on the clothes line every day of the year - this same woman who had been a super woman - now struggled to push her walker so she could walk to the washroom.

But - while Mom had failed physically, she hadn’t failed emotionally or mentally and continued to encourage her family until the very end. Remember - her tongue worked very well.

One morning as I was lying beside her in her bed, we talked of ageing gracefully - what it felt to be nearing the end of one’s life - grandparenting and leaving a legacy for your family.

Ten years before Mom came to live with us - we had our first three grandchildren - Sara in Feb. - Levi and Talia - both born in June - 2011. Over the course of those first few months, Randy and I came up with the plan to begin JOLLIFFE CAMP. We would keep the cousins for a night or two (to bless us) and give the parents much needed time away (blessing them). And so it began - July 2012 was our very first camp - three toddlers.

2012

Randy and I began Jolliffe camp with these three. We spent three days and two nights with these three. Three high chairs. Three Pack-n-plays! Three of a lot of things. Plenty of time outside. Plenty of time at the park. Yummy snacks and meals. Naps. And bedtime? Each little one had their favourite story and favourite song. I went between the three of them - reading and snuggling and singing until 6 little eyes were heavy and closed. I remember they were good sleepers and didn’t wake us up in the night.

Most of our marriage - Randy and I managed to squeeze in a night or two a year away from the children - to focus on each other and allow others to love on our kids. It was what we wanted for our own sons and their spouses as well. Parents need time away from their kids to recharge - benefitting both themselves and their children. Spouses need to rebuild connection with each other that sometimes is more difficult when the challenges of raising the kids are prevalent. Conversely - kids need some time away from their parents as well - to learn to be flexible and more adaptable - to learn to trust others - to give themselves different responsibilities and most important - that they see that Dad and Mom need time alone.

2013 - we had the same three - only now they were two year olds. Much different than the first summer of camp - two year olds can talk - listen to (some) instructions - use the potty - eat and sleep on some sort of schedule - laugh - play games - interact with each other. These cousins loved playing together. The following quote came up on my facebook page today - “Day One of Camp Jolliffe is in the books - three little munchins all sleeping - so tired from all that playing...going to finish the dishes - do a load of laundry - then watch the Blue Jays with Grampie.”

2013

In 2014, we were scheduled for the third instalment of Jolliffe Camp with five grandchildren planning to arrive in July - but that all changed when Randy collapsed and passed away. Instead, later that same month, we were blessed by someone from our church to use their cottage for a week in Muskoka - so we could all be together. That began the new chapter for our family regarding summer cousin camp. Jolliffe camp was not something I could do by myself. Grandparenting solo was not easy and not fun. We would continue our dream - only now - the parents should join me. Their weekends away by themselves would take place during the year - one family at a time.

2015/2016 - Jolliffe camp in Cuba

Jolliffe camp - eastern Ontario - 2017

2018 - the last two of the ten joined our family and we celebrated Jolliffe camp in the Dominican Republic - celebrating my 60th birthday.

Jolliffe camp in Kincardine -2019

We all remember what happened in 2020! Even in 2021 it was hard to get everyone together in the same space!

Jolliffe camp in eastern Ontario - 2022

Jolliffe camp - 2023 - Canada’s Wonderland

2025

Someday - when my own faith in Jesus is sight - when I’ve crossed the River to the Celestial City - I hope my kids and grandkids speak of the years we celebrated life together - when we laughed and cried - when we stayed up too late around the campfire - when we built sand castles - when we swam in the big Lake Huron waves - when we crammed around two tables eating good food - when we competed in the Jolliffe games - when we hugged on each arrival and hugged on the departures - when we slept on couches or on the floor or in a bed - I hope and pray - they’ll say - “Jolliffe camp - where cousins became friends - was the best part of our summer!”

This Grammie has a grateful heart.

It was a good tradition to begin. May there be many, many more!

MY CAMINO - REVISITED

Exactly one year ago today - I flew to Europe, along with two of my sons, for the adventure of a lifetime. After planning for 18 months - more accurately, ten years or more, our journey began with an overnight flight to Europe - landing in Porto, Portugal and then, taking a short three hour drive over the border into Spain.

For hundreds of years the scallop shell has been a symbol of courage, strength and hope for the pilgrims who walk the Camino. This shell is found on the coast of Galacia. We found a shell on the beach in Porto, before we started walking and then bought a shell on our first day of walking the path to fasten to our backpacks.

My backpack weighted about 14 pounds. At times as I walked the pack felt as light as a feather and at other times, it felt like I was carrying the weight of the whole world. I thought long and hard about what I would carry and really - I don’t think I overpacked. Three pairs of shorts - two long sleeved shirts to wear for sun protection - 2 short sleeves for evenings - 1 sleeveless for the last day - a towel and sheet - 3 pairs of socks - 3 pairs of underwear - my hat - shoes/sandals and water bladder. That’s it. Oh, a few products for the face and skin! For ten days!

It made me think about carrying extra baggage that we sometimes lug around and become encumbered with! Extra things that weigh us down! Things we don’t need! Envy! Strife! Unforgivenss! Hardness of Heart! Pride! Revenge! Selfishness! Jealousy! I’ve named a few things I’ve carried at times! What joy - what bliss - though - when that backpack came off at the rest stops - at lunch - at the end of the day! What joy to forever empty our lives when we stop carrying those things that weigh us down. It was Corrie ten Boom who said “You will find it is necessary to let things go, simply for the reason that they are too heavy.”

Five days! 120 kms! 175,242 steps!

Some of those kms and steps were filled with joy and wonder and laughter and chatter - but on day 3 - there were tears - (by Momma)! It was super hard. My right knee was kicking up a fuss. My hips hurt. My blisters were bugging me! I knew I wouldn’t quit but it was slow going. It was a 30 km day from the early morning (6:30 am) until 3:00 in the afternoon. Up and down hills! On paths of pavement and stones and dirt! My boys encouraged me. They offered to carry my pack ( I didn’t let them)! They made me laugh. I put my head down and finished that leg of the journey. It wasn’t terribly pretty but I got ‘er done.

When we arrived at our accommodations that day - the manager told us that of the 51 people staying there that night - we were the only ones who carried our packs. The rest had had them shipped. The boys teased me lots because I definitely judged those who walked without carrying their packs! They reminded me that everyone walks their own Camino! :)

Isn’t this just like real life. Some days - it’s all sunshine and roses. It’s a Mary Poppins type of day. Laughter and joy and peace and happiness. Other days - it’s grey - it’s windy - it’s cold - it’s heavy - a day you just have to get through. What I learned about myself on Day 3 was that I could withstand the difficulty and finish. It’s not in my nature to quit and I didn’t. Don’t you either.

I often think of Christian in the book - Pilgrim’s Progress - when he came upon the Hill Difficulty! This is what he said -

"This hill, though high, I covet to ascend;
The difficulty will not me offend,
For I perceive the way to life lies here:
Come, pluck up, heart, let's neither faint nor fear!
Better, though difficult, the right way to go,
Than wrong, though easy, where the end is woe."

Our final destination was Santiago de Compostela - a wonderful, ancient city, with the exquisite Baroque cathedral towering over the esplanade. It was a moment for smiles and hugs! We made it.

The words of Psalm 23 came to my mind! The Lord is my Shepherd. I have all that I need. He lets me rest in green pastures. He leads me beside peaceful streams. He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths - bringing honour to His Name. Even when I walk through the darkest valley - I will not be afraid, for You are close beside me. Your rod and your staff protect and comfort me. You prepare a feast for me in the Presence of my enemies. You honour me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings. Surely Your goodness and mercy and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.”

We ended this fantastic dream of mine with a couple of days of rest and relaxation in Barcelona - taking in two wonderful, meaningful sights - FAMILIA SAGRADA AND MONTSERRAT MONASTERY.

It was a journey of a lifetime.

SISTAS! WE NEED EACH OTHER!

I grew up in a family of three sisters and five brothers. Those same five brothers provided me with five more sisters. Add one strong Momma and a fierce grandmother - well - there were always lots of women around. Lots of opinions. Lots of drama. Lots of tears. Lots of laughter. Lots of stories. Lots of support. Lots of wisdom. Lots of grace.

When Randy and I decided to get married I knew I wouldn’t likely live in the same community all my life. We prepared for local church ministry at Tyndale Bible College and Seminary in Toronto - both of us graduating in 1980 - Randy with a Bachelor of Theology degree and me - with a Bachelor of Christian Education degree. We would pastor 4 churches over the next 35 years in Orillia, Listowel, Cambridge and Alliston before Randy went Home to be with the Lord in 2014. In all four of those places, God provided me with “sistas - from another mother” to surround and support me - to share life with - to talk for hours about nothing and everything - when my own sisters lived away from me. While my sisters were only a phone call away, sometimes you need a warm body sitting across a table from you. If any of you are reading this blog this morning - you know who you are.

Just about a month ago - June 24th - I woke up with a heaviness and sadness and it didn’t take long for the tears to start. The last week of June saw my three oldest grandchildren graduate from grade 8. (I know it’s only grade 8 but it’s a big deal these days.) It was an exciting week for my three sons and their families. I had hoped that the three graduations would be on three consecutive days so I could easily get to all three events. Wasn’t to be. Two would be on the 24th - Ottawa in the morning and Kincardine in the evening - the 25th in Kitchener. I would miss Sara’s grad in Ottawa.

Early that Tuesday morning, Ben and Jen, sent me pictures of Sara - pretty in her sweet white dress - hair curled - confident smile on her face. My heart was more than a little bit broken that I wasn’t there to witness her graduation for myself. (I know Randy and I would have divided and conquered that day - one of us at Sara’s and one of us at Levi’s). To take my mind off things, I drove to Port Elgin to play pickle ball and as I was putting on my court shoes - a new friend came over to say good morning to me. The tears started and my new friend reached out to hug me and listen to my story. She was thoughtful and empathetic and offered emotional support. She sat with me until I composed myself. What a tremendous blessing she was to me that day.

Women need women. That morning I didn’t need common sense. I didn’t need logic. I didn’t need reason. I didn’t need rational thinking. I needed a kind, warm, thoughtful friend - to share my heartache.

Every Wednesday afternoon, at 4:30 - my three sisters and I have a messenger video chat. It’s in the calendar and not too many things get in the way of these conversations. It’s not like we don’t chat other times but Wednesday at 4:30 is sacred. My sisters are 85, 79 and 78. I’m the baby of the group. My oldest sister, Marilyn, is a widow - lives alone in the house that she and my brother-in-law bought at least 55 years ago - takes care of her yard - visits friends who are shut in - and has a large network of women friends - many of them widows themselves. The next oldest sister has a husband and a large family that stop in to visit her regularly. Sue - is always baking and cooking up a storm for the kids and grandkids and greats that come for a coffee or meal. She sews and knits beautiful creations for the young moms in her church, community and family. My third sister, Brenda, also has a husband and family who live nearby. She spends a good deal of her time at the local hospital, serving the families waiting outside of the ICU - calming frayed nerves and sad hearts. She blesses her friends with words of encouragement and grace. These sisters of mine always - always - always - have led by example. They love me (and each other) unconditionally. We’ve walked through the death of two spouses, two brothers and two parents. We’ve supported each other in a miscarriage and death of a newborn infant. We’ve cried with and for each other when disappointment comes into our lives. We’ve laughed until we’ve wet our pants. We’ve talked late into the night and on those nights, we’ve eaten far too many ju-jubes and liquorice. We are warriors for each other. We share our deepest secrets and desires. We need each other. I can’t imagine doing life without these three women.

This picture was taken several years ago. We were having a sister’s weekend together and we went to visit our mom. She didn’t want her picture taken so we hid her behind some flowers.

“Some women pray for their daughters to marry good husbands! Instead - pray for your daughters to find girlfriends who are loyal and true .” (Rebecca Wells) I didn’t have a daughter of my own but I think I would have prayed for both!!!

To the women of my youth - my young adulthood - my middle life - and now - in my “older” years - I say thank you. You’ve seen my truest self - both broken and beautiful. You never flinched. Instead you’ve love me through it all. That’s the love I will treasure for a lifetime.

F. Scott Fitzgerald said it this way - “She was beautiful - but not like the women in the magazines. She was beautiful for the way she thought. She was beautiful for the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved! She was beautiful for her ability to make other people smile, even if she was sad. No - she wasn’t beautiful for something as temporary as her looks. She was beautiful - deep down in her soul. She is beautiful.”

Sistas! We need each other.

EXCEPTIONAL - FAITHFUL - TRUSTWORTHY

Elisabeth Elliot once wrote: “We are called to be exceptional in the ordinary things - faithful in the little things - and trustworthy when nobody is watching.”

Elisabeth Elliot (EE) was born December 21, 1926 in Belgium, and died June 15, 2015 in the USA. She was a missionary, author and speaker. EE had only been married for a few years and the young mother to her daughter, Valerie, when her husband, Jim, was killed in 1956 while attempting to make contact with the Auca people of eastern Ecuador. Elisabeth married two more times - to Addison Leitch (1969 - 1973) and then - to Lars Gren (1977-2015). I recently read that her third marriage was difficult and unhappy. She realized very early in the marriage that she had made a mistake. Gren was manipulative and controlling, moody and needed to be right in all things. It was not a happy union. EE died after suffering from alzheimer's for several years.

This week I thought long and hard of the ordinary things that happen regularly in my life and how they turn out to be exceptional!

Keeping oodles of dry towels folded and clean - ready to be used by the grandkids after a dip in the lake or “tub tub”.

Baking “chocolate chip squares” and muffins regularly - ready to be eaten by same grandkids when they pop over for a visit.

Messaging my siblings and friends most mornings - reminding them I love them and am praying for them - checking in with them - listening to their life stories.

Making nutritious meals for Harv and I and all who sit around our table.

Smiling at strangers.

Keeping the snack cupboard stocked (for you know who).

Keeping it real at pickle ball.

Walking my beach route and chatting with the regulars (and the irregulars)!

These things are everyday - normal - regular - usual - common and ordinary activities but they can all be done in an exceptional manner. Paul - the great missionary and apostle said it this way -

“If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain ‘jump’ and it jumps, but I don’t have love, I’m nothing.

Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut. Doesn’t have a swelled head. Doesn’t force itself on others. Isn’t always ‘me first’. Doesn’t fly off the handle. Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others. Doesn’t revel when others grovel. Takes pleasure in the truth. Puts up with anything. Trusts God always. Always looks for the best. Never looks back - but keeps going to the end.”

Be exceptional in the small things.

I also gave careful consideration to what it means to be faithful - reliable - integral - and dedicated - in the little things - in everyday tasks and responsibilities. Cooking. Cleaning. Leading. Teaching. Playing. Laundry.

There is an obscure little verse in the Old Testament book of Zechariah (4:10) and it says this - “For who has despised the day of small things?” I wrote the following statement on July 20, 2014 - 16 days after Randy went Home to Heaven. “This verse applies to our ministry through the years. Randy and I served the local church in four different communities for 35 years. We served faithfully in small towns and cities - in small churches. Randy and I loved on our people with all our hearts, strength, minds, and souls. Those churches were not a stepping stone to greatness. It was greatness. It is greatness.” I’m reminded of those years of ministry regularly as I often get notes and messages from those who attended our churches - notes to remind me that we served and loved faithfully.

Lastly, EE said - Be trustworthy when nobody is watching.” Ultimately, trustworthiness when no one is watching is all about living with integrity - which is living life in accordance with one’s values, regardless of eternal factors.

The books I choose to read. The shows I choose to watch. The things I search out on the internet. The thoughts I keep in my head.

“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” John Wooden

Honesty. Kindness. Compassion. Respect. Responsibility. Courage. Humility. Patience. Loyalty. Perseverance. Fairness. Generosity. Self-control. Thoughtfulness. When we practice these things in private - they will naturally be reproduced in public.

Elisabeth Elliot’s life work was to share these deepest things - the trustworthiness of God - the blessings of obedience - the hope of joy in the midst of sorrow - the call to love the hard to love - and the true meaning of Biblical manhood and womanhood.

It’s what I aspire to as well.

SUMMERTIME

I love when the calendar flips from spring to summer. That means the kids and grandkids roll in for days at the beach - sleepovers - reading on long summer afternoons - bbq’s - outdoor pickle ball - paddle boarding - sand everywhere - flip flops in the doorway - drying towels - snacks galore - laughter - and love. It goes for about 8 weeks and then all too soon - the house empties. I won’t think about that now. I’ll enjoy these days and treasure up these memories in my heart.

“I could never in a hundred summers get tired of this!” M. J.

“Everything good - everything magical - happens between the months of June and August!” A. C.

“Summer’s lease hath all too short a date” - William Shakespeare

Annual Jolliffe camp

“Summer has a flavour like no other. Always fresh and simmered in sunshine.” O.W.

“Summer nights - even the stars are whispering to each other!” K. I.

“What good is the warmth of the summer, without the cold of winter to give sweetness.” John Steinbeck

“If a July night could talk - it would probably boast it invented romance!” B.W.

“Roll out those lazy, hazy days of summer.” Nat King Cole

“Nothing lasts forever, except the day before you start your summer vacation!” G. A.

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you will never see the shadows!” Helen Keller

COME FURTHER UP! COME FURTHER IN!

My mother-in-law was Ella Jolliffe (nee Kinsman). Ella was from Nova Scotia and bravely volunteered to serve during the second world war. Ella was a young woman when she left the confines of her home in a small town on the east coast and got on a ocean liner - crossed the “pond” and served on an air force base in northern England - recording the missions of the planes that flew to Germany. It was there she met her husband - my father-in-law - Ray Jolliffe. They married after the war in 1946.

Fast forward almost 50 years to 1995. Ella had cancer and in February of that year - she passed away. Dad and Randy and Carol (Randy’s sister) and I were with her at the end - or rather - the beginning. Mom had been in a coma for the last three days of her life but in the seconds before she took her last breath, she opened her brilliant blue eyes - reached for the ceiling - and then, breathed her last. I remember looking up at the ceiling and wishing I could see what Mom J saw. Surely the heavens opened and the angels were welcoming her Home. She instantly began her new life in Heaven.

I love the writings of C.S. Lewis, particularly, The Chronicles of Narnia. I read the whole series again a couple of summers ago - one after the other. I couldn’t put them down. I understood them better - better than when I read them as a child or when I read them to my own children. The series consists of seven fantasy novels, centred around the magical world of Narnia, where children from our world travel to a magical world and play significant roles there. All seven stories (they are not long and you can read them in a few days) speak of the ongoing conflict between good and evil - pitting the lion Aslan and the white witch against each other. Lewis writes about courage, sacrifice, redemption and the triumph of good over evil. This summer would be a great time to run to your nearest bookstore and buy the series and read them to yourself and to your children and your grandchildren.

The Magician’s Nephew begins the story of how Narnia was created by Aslan.

In The Lion, the witch and the Wardrobe - you’ll read about the Pevensie siblings (Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy) and their adventures in Narnia, where they help overthrow the white witch and become the new rulers.

In Prince Caspian - the children return to Narnia to help the Prince reclaim his throne from his evil uncle, Miraz.

In The Voyage of the Dawn Treader - Edmund and Lucy, along with their cousin, Eustace, take a magical sea voyage to the edge of the world.

I loved The Horse and His Boy! In this book we meet a boy named Shasta and a talking horse who journey from Calormen to Narnia and discover their true identities.

The Silver Chair introduces us to Jill Pole, who along with Eustace, are given the task to find Prince Caspian’s missing son, Rilian.

In The Last Battle - the final book in the series, we read about the end of Narnia and its transition to a new, heavenly realm.

The Last Battle is exciting to me. My heart resonates with joy as I read about the New Narnia. I've spent countless hours since Randy died reading and studying about Heaven. I read and reread Randy Alcorn’s book called - Heaven. Randy had read this book years before and it was like we were studying it together. He had underlined and highlighted so many sentences. In The Last Battle - Lewis gives us a glimpse of how he perceives Heaven (or the new Narnia to be).

“The difference between the old Narnia and the new Narnia is described this way! The new one was a deeper country; every rock and flower and blade of grass looked as if it meant more. I can’t describe it any better: when you get there you will know what this means!

It was the Unicorn who summed it up best - what everyone was feeling. He stamped his right fore-hoof on the ground and neighed…..and then he cried…….. I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here! This is my land I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now. The reason why we loved the old Narnia is that it sometimes looked a little like this. Bree-hee-hee! Come further up, come further in!

He shook his mane and sprang forward into a great gallop - a Unicorn’s gallop, which, in our world, would have carried him out of sight in a few minutes. But now a strange thing happened. Everyone else began to run; and they found to their astonishment, that they could keep up with him: not only the Dogs and the humans but even fat little Puzzle and short-legged Poggin the Dwarf. The air flew in their faces as if they were driving fast in a car without a windscreen. The country flew past as if they were seeing it from the windows of an express train. Faster and faster they raced, but no one got hot or tired or out of breath.”

I can only imagine!

Many of you know this part of my story but for those who don’t…….. In 1984 - while having my third son, the anesthesiologist placed the epidural in the wrong place on my spine. The freezing immediately went down but also went up - high - too high. I was instantly paralyzed from the neck down. I wasn’t breathing. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t call for help. The saddest part of this story is that the doctor and nurse had both left the room before the freezing took place and I was alone. No one was with me. No one knew I wasn’t breathing. No one knew I would die - as would my unborn baby - unless someone came to our rescue - quickly. In those moments before my own GP came into the OR - I had a few brief moments to reflect on my life. I rejoiced for the 26 years I had lived - for my husband and two small toddlers at home - for my parents and siblings - for friends and the life I was living. I thanked God for all these things. In those precious moments, I also prayed a desperate prayer - for two things - first - that God would send help immediately and second - if no help came - He would care for Randy and my two young sons at home. It was only after help arrived - after I had been put on a respirator - after my baby was born safely - after I was out of recovery - after recuperating - after being home with my three sons and husband for several months - that I finally gave thought to Heaven and had my doctor not shown up when he did - Pete and I both would have died.

“Teach us to number our days so that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Wisdom is gained by remembering that our lives are brief and our every breath is a gift from God. The One who has numbered with absolute precision the number of stars in the universe and knows each of them by name has also numbered my breaths and the days of my life. How precious is that truth.

Like my mother-in-law - someday when it is my turn - to venture from this old “Narnia” to the new “Narnia” - let me be reaching my hand skyward also. So many of my loved ones have gathered there already - awaiting the rest of us.

COME FURTHER UP! COME FURTHER IN!

AND THAT'S A WRAP

The school year is done today! There will be shouts of joy and there will be tears of sadness - as the doors close at the end of the day and another chapter is completed. Remember Alice Cooper’s “School’s Out?” The song really doesn’t make much sense at all but it has an upbeat tune and beat and was fun to shout out on the last day of high school back in the 70”s! “No more pencils, no more books! No more teacher’s dirty looks. Out for summer, out ‘til fall - Might not come back at all! School’s out for summer!” I know you are at least humming the tune right now. :)

This week has been especially poignant for me. My oldest three grandchildren (the big three) all graduated from grade 8! These three, Sara, Levi and Talia - born oh so close together in 2011 - are heading to high school in September. These three beautiful souls - looking handsome and sweet - stood tall and proud as they received their diplomas from their principal and teachers.

Fun fact! After all three of our boys were married, Randy and I made a fun wager - the first couple to produce a grandchild would receive $1000.00! It started out as a joke but then something wonderful happened! All three couples were pregnant at the same time and even though Ben and Jen were the first to give us a grand-baby - Sara - the other two families weren’t too far behind - having their babies a couple of months later - Levi and Talia - we decided to divide the money three ways! They all received $333.33!!!!

Last fall I wrote a blog - Back To School Blessings For Our Grandchildren - God has truly blessed all of these dear ones this past school year. All the grandchildren had a great year - with the usual ups and downs of balancing school work - sports - music lessons - leisure time - youth groups - church - friends and family.

About Sara (first grandchild) - I wrote -

“Sara - heading into grade 8! Your name means “princess/woman minister”! It’s our prayer and blessing on you and for you - that you will be a spiritual mother to many and that you will speak the truth of God’s word into the lives of your family and friends throughout the coming school year. May you be strengthened to see the needs around you, have a compassionate heart willing to respond and have the humility to serve even in the secret and unglamorous ways. We pray that as God leads you and is a light to your path, you will be blessed with favour and peace. You are loved young lady!”

I woke up Tuesday morning knowing that Sara’s graduation was happening in Ottawa at 9:30 am. My heart was broken that I was not able to be there. (I hate to missing my grandchildren’s momentous occasions.) The tears came quickly. Ben and Jen sent me pictures - pictures of Sara - looking adorable in her grad dress - ready - on the edge of the next thing. Later on that same morning - more pictures arrived - Sara receiving her diploma and then receiving the principal’s award for leadership at her school. Indeed - Sara spent the last year serving her junior high school community and was recognized for her work. Congratulations.

About Levi (my first born grandson) I wrote -

“Levi Stanley - heading into grade 8 at a new school and community - you’ve got this! It’s our prayer that you will use the many skills you’ve been given to spread joy and grace to everyone you come into contact with this year - whether it’s in the classroom or on the rink or in the gym. Your name is a strong one! It means that you were ordained by God to be a hard worker. We bless you with opportunities to put your skills into practice. We pray that as God directs your steps, you will prosper and doors will be opened for you. Be blessed young man.”

Tuesday night - it was Levi’s turn. Levi - looking dapper in his suit - cool shirt and tie - high top running shoes - bright smile. This Grammie’s heart melted once again and the tears were close to the surface. What a joy to watch him walk tall and proud and take his place among his fellow graduates. He reminds me so much of his Dad and Grampie. I watched as he applauded his friends as they received awards and acknowledgements. I was thrilled when they called his name to receive the sportsmanship award. Levi is an encourager to his classmates and teammates and he is well deserving of this award. Congratulations.

About Talia (my third grandchild) - I wrote -

“Tali girl! You are also heading into grade 8 - your second year at Middle School. I love that your middle name means Rock! We bless you and pray that this year you will be steadfast, consistent and reliable - with your family and your friends. May you seek to intimately know your Creator and the Author of your story. May your story, which was ordained before you came to be, glorify Gods as you share it with others. Always remember that you are a part of the greatest story ever told. We pray that you will know your purpose which has been lovingly laid out for you. You are loved, dear girl.”

Wednesday night it was Talia’s turn. Adorable! Sweet! Excited! Friend! All of these adjectives describe Tali. The tears started once again when I saw her dressed for her graduation - I was remembering the little girl who spent many weekends with Randy and I - including the weekend of June 28th, 2014 - when Randy collapsed while running - suffering a heart attack - from which he never recovered. Talia had just turned three years old the week before. She and I had been strawberry picking on that fateful Saturday morning and upon returning to the house, found out that the police had been to our home - trying to find me. It wasn’t long after getting in touch with the Alliston Police Force that I heard the shocking and devastating news - that they had taken Randy to the Alliston hospital - waiting to be transferred to Newmarket. As Talia and I were driving from Everett into Alliston, she began to sing - “Jesus loves me this I know.” over and over again. All these memories and more came out of my heart - down my cheeks. While Talia’s school didn’t give out any awards, this year I’ve seen her mature and grow in stature and grace. She is steadfast and consistent. She is a solid friend. She is reliable. Congratulations.

The year was full of athletic games and tournaments - music concerts and recitals - Christmas concerts - art shows - track meets - cross country races - science projects - 30 bus cancellations -school trips - sick days - and plain, ordinary learning days.

I’m grateful for all the ways my kids keep me in the loop of what’s happening in the lives of the grands. I love the phone calls and texts and messages and messenger videos that I receive regularly. My heart is for these kids. They are always in my thoughts and prayers.

But……as the end of June arrives…….and I remember and reflect on Randy’s Home going……I’m reminded of God’s grace to me - His love for me - His care over me - His precious promises to me. I’m grateful for Harv and his love and care for me and my kids and grands. I’m grateful for my sisters - they love me and as their “baby” sister, only wanting the best for me. I’m thankful for my pickle ball friends - who shared my grief on Tuesday with hugs and a listening ear. I’m grateful for my “friends who live away” who text me with words of love and encouragement.

As we put a wrap on this school year - the phrase from C.S. Lewis’s book - The Horse and His Boy - comes to mind - “onward and upward!” It’s a call to action, encouraging perseverance and striving for a great future.

My prayer for these three graduates is to keep moving forward - both physically and spiritually! Embrace the challenges. Strive for higher! Study well! Eat healthy. Get 10 hours of sleep. Be kind! Know that I love you all with all my heart.

Bring on the lazy - hazy days of summer. School’s Out!

LIFE CHANGING MEDITERRANEAN LIFESTYLE

My annual doctor’s appointment in 2012 changed my life. Every year previous to 2012, I had my yearly appointment and every year I heard the same comments - “Your are doing great! Keep up the good work!” Not 2012! My doctor informed me I had high blood pressure and my cholesterol was over the top - not good - not great! I blamed the results on DNA. Most of my siblings experienced these same physical troubles and were always discussing ‘what they were taking for whatever their ailments were!’ My doctor pulled out his prescription pad and started writing me a script for meds.

Hold on! My doc and I had a wee discussion about the problems and possible solutions. I immediately scrapped the idea of going on medication and asked him about food choices to change the numbers. He told me - “Good luck! Ninety-nine out of one hundred people can’t keep to that kind of lifestyle to bring the numbers down!” Watch me! Right away - he hooked me up with a nutritionist - and at our first meeting she was quite blunt with me. She told me unless I changed my eating habits I would one day have a heart attack or a stroke! Ouch!

Over the next 12 months I would adapt the Mediterranean Diet/Lifestyle plan in my life (one year before I actually knew its name). For that whole year I didn’t put anything “unhealthy” into my mouth. I passed on cookies, cakes, ice-cream, white pasta, white bread, chips, and most cheeses. (Do you know that cheese is 34% fat?) One year later my blood showed that my cholesterol was 100% under control - I had lowered the numbers by making the best food choices - and my blood pressure was normal. I have not strayed too far from this lifestyle in 13 years.

What exactly is the Mediterranean Lifestyle? It was inspired by cultures in Greece, Spain, Italy and France and it’s an approach to cooking that emphasizes veggies, whole grains, lean protein, legumes, nuts and seeds. Fortunately we don’t have to live in Greece or Spain to enjoy this way of life - although, I’d like to try living there for a season. We have all the food we need right here in Kincardine.

Here are a few health benefits I learned along the way!

#1. My mood was in a better place. I consistently build meals around plant-based foods - eat whole grains - eliminated processed foods - choose chicken over red meat (mostly) - and dialled back on dairy. Dr. Lachance reported in the World Journal of Psychiatry “dark green vegetables are some of the most mood and energy-enhancing foods on the planet! Spinach, romaine, kale, broccoli and Brussel sprouts are all considered top antidepressant foods!” I try to include 2 - 4 servings of nuts and legumes each day - peas, walnuts, almonds, lentils etc. There are so many great choices. It’s reported - “that healthy nut and legume consumption is linked to positive mental and cognitive health. That’s because both are chock-full of brain-boosting anti-inflammatory and antioxidant components.”

The timing for beginning this lifestyle - 2012 - was perfect for me. I was in the end stages of menopause and one of my worst symptoms was mood swings. Once I eliminated bagged or boxed foods and exchanged them for all things fresh - almost all things plant based - my mood swings were no longer swinging quite so violently. :)

These good foods are a way of life. I can’t imagine of ever going back.

#2. Eating the Mediterranean lifestyle helps to stave off inflammation. I have arthritis in both of my thumbs. They are sometimes inflamed and really hurt. When I eat healthy, my thumbs are less inflamed and definitely don’t ache as much. Sugar, refined grains and saturated fat trigger an inflammatory immune response. I aim for half to two-thirds of my plate to be non-starchy veggies. I limit added sugar! (I did cut added sugar completely for four months last year. It most certainly helped reduce inflammation but I also lost weight which wasn’t a great look for me)! I read lots of labels. I don’t eat as much fish as I should but I do take an omega-3 supplement. I limit white flour. I rarely eat cookies or muffins made with white flour. I use olive oil for everything. I buy my oils and vinegars in Southampton. It might sound difficult to live this way but it’s the way our grandparents lived! Once you make this way of life a habit - it’s common place but there is nothing common about the way one’s body responds to good food.

#3. My heart is healthier. In the middle of the 20th century, heart disease surpassed pneumonia and tuberculosis as the leading cause of death for men and women in North America. Guess where there is little heart disease? Spain. Italy. Greece. Specialists in the States studied the diet patterns of these European countries, which were high in plant foods - fruits and vegetables, whole grains, legumes, nuts and seeds and olive oil. Fish, poultry, dairy, and eggs were eaten in moderation - red meat was a rare occurrence. Why would I want to eat any other way? If I feed my body the things it isn’t meant to tolerate - like processed convenient foods, my body will let me down.

#4. The first week will be the hardest - but once your body adjusts - you’ll never look back. I was teaching fitness classes back in 2012 when I started my new eating regime. About the fourth day in - I had to sit on a stool to teach my classes because my body was out of whack. Even though I thought I was eating healthy - I wasn’t. The first week - I was fatigued - I was dizzy - I was tired - I was moody - I almost stopped. But I didn’t. After the first week - things turned a corner. My body began to respond - the fatigue and tiredness went away - the moodiness and dizzy spells were eliminated - my body began to look leaner and fitter. I had the right mindset though. I would let food heal me.

#5. Food is for our enjoyment and sharing a great meal with family and friends is the best. Last summer after Zac and Pete and I completed our Camino walk in Spain, we flew from Santiago de Compostela to Barcelona for a few days to complete our holiday. I realized two things very quickly. The Spanish people have siestas every afternoon and their evening only begins around 7 and revolves around good food. After visiting Barcelona’s beaches and touristy sites, Zac and Pete had their siestas while I read. It was only around 7:30 that we would head out to a beautiful square, and find a place to have a drink. Then we would wander the square, watching the nightly entertainment and find another establishment for dinner. Now, we’re talking 9 pm. My favourite meal of all time was our last night in Barcelona. I enjoyed Paella - a traditional Spanish dish that originated in the Valencia region.

Paella is made with simple ingredients that we all have in our own kitchens - rice, saffron, vegetables, chicken or seafood. I had mine with chicken. The three of us sat around the table, enjoying our meals and talking. All around that lovely little restaurant, groups of two, three and more, were laughing, eating, talking, sharing life. No one was in a rush.

This Momma who is usually in bed around 10, was finishing her meal around 10:30 and then heading to yet another restaurant for dessert and a “nightcap” - sparkling water for me and some fancy spanish drinks for the boys.

There is nothing I enjoy more than having family and friends over for a meal and just sitting around the table, enjoying good food and conversation and laughter and sometimes - tears too. Sharing life.

The Mediterranean diet (not really a diet but a lifestyle) is consistently ranked as the healthiest eating by the world’s leading experts. I’m no expert but I wholeheartedly endorse it too.

It changed my life! It can change yours too.

THINGS I LEARNED FROM MY DAD

“Inheritance is not just money! Sometimes your father’s good reputation is enough - and wherever you go, you are told that your father was one of the best people.” (unknown)

My father had a great reputation in the town where I grew up - in eastern Ontario. My Mom used to tell us that after working at “the mill” (Domtar) for 42 years, and it was time for Dad to retire - the “big wigs” came from Montreal to honour him at the dinner.

Dad began working at Domtar in the mid 1930’s. He started on the Bull Gang - the men who do the grunt stuff all over the Mill - wherever they are sent. It wasn’t too long until he was on the machines, working his way up from the bottom and by the time he retired - he was running the biggest mill machine in Canada. The raises come gradually……as did the kids. He worked for an hourly wage initially and then eventually became staff. He was well respected at his job. He was one of the best.

In no particular order - these are things I learned from my Dad.

Faith first. My Dad took his faith seriously and along with mom, took our family to church and Sunday School each week - served on the deacon’s board - taught Bible Study - joined the Gideons (the group who distribute Bibles to hotels) - and encouraged each of us to have a personal faith as well.

Love your spouse. My parents scrapped a bit - like every other couple but us kids never - ever - doubted their love for each other. Two events stand out in my mind where I saw my Dad’s heart for Mom - the day we found out that my brother - Tim - had drowned in a canoeing accident and the day Mom fell and broke her hip. His heart was devastated for her and wanted to protect her from the emotional pain of their youngest son’s death and then, the physical pain Mom experienced with a broken hip.

Play games. Our family loved games - card games - board games - you name it - we played it. So much laughter through the years - also - lots of friendly competition (a few boards upset!)

Eat good food. My father loved to eat and also did his fair share of cooking, especially after he retired. He was appreciative always of good meals and always complemented my mom. He taught me the fine art of being appreciative when another cooks for you.

You control the things you put into your body. Dad didn’t drink alcohol - he never wanted to be under the influence of “strong drink” nor be controlled by it. . He had seen too many of his workmates at the mill drink their paycheques away - spending time away from their wives and children at the local tavern - and he wanted no part of that lifestyle.

Work hard. Whatever you do - do it well. Put in the effort. Make your superiors and peers proud of you.

Honesty. Tell the truth.

Respect those in authority. He taught us to treat others with kindness and consideration - even if you disagree.

Regarding finances. Dad taught us through his words and actions how to save and manage our money wisely. We had a desk in our front hall with slots in it and each week after Dad received his pay cheque - and cashed it out - the money went into a designated slot to pay the bills for the week. My parents didn’t go into debt. If they couldn’t afford it, they didn’t buy it.

Leading by example. My dad wasn’t about “do as I say not what I do!” I’m grateful he was a man of his word and his life followed suit.

How to hold a golf club correctly. I can hold the club correctly but never could equal his game.

How to take a fish off the hook gently without ripping its mouth.

How to care for your aged parent. He visited his mother regularly after her stroke and wept the day she died. I was 18 - it was one of the first times I’d ever seen my Dad cry.

Buy your spouse presents. He loved to surprise my Mom with gifts.

Near the end of my Dad’s life, Mom and Dad lived with Randy and I for several months. Most days after lunch while Mom rested, I would take Dad to the Cambridge mall, where we enjoyed a coffee and snack together. We would sit by the indoor rink and watch the hockey players and skaters, drink our coffee, eat our donut and he would share stories with me. We talked about this and that - his life growing up - his life as a young father (before I was born) - how he loved mom and our family. I felt blessed to care for him in those days. Dad was diabetic and for most meals and snacks we stuck to the things that were healthy for him to eat - food that kept his sugar in check. The odd day (with Mom’s permission) I would serve Dad a dish of “real” ice cream and he would lick “his chops!” It tasted so good to him.

Dad died on Monday, February 12th, 2007 around 9 pm. We knew it was coming but when I received the phone call from my sister in Kingston, my heart broke, more than a little bit. Our loss was heaven’s gain. My Dad’s faith was sight.

More than money. More than gold. More than silver. I received an inheritance of wisdom and grace and faith.

THE BLESSING

This summer I decided to give up my golf membership and replace it with a pickle ball membership. In a perfect world I would be playing pb in my own town - instead - I’m making the drive 3 or 4 times a week to Port Elgin. Port is just up the road about a half an hour. Sometimes I drive up with my friend - C - other days I make the drive myself. On the days - C and I - drive together - we enjoy delightful conversation - catching up about our family and always - talking pb strategy and gamesmanship.

On the days I drive alone I sometimes listen to a podcast but most often - I play my favourite playlist from Spotify. It’s approximately a thirty minute drive and I can get through 5 or 6 songs. Right now I’m loving Kari Jobe’s version of THE BLESSING - over and over again. The lyrics are based on the Bible verse - Numbers 6:24-26 which says “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His face toward you and give you peace.” I love the reminder of God’s promise to be with us and to bless us.

As I drive up Hwy 21, most days - the roof is down - the music is loud and I sing these words at the top of my lungs.

The Lord bless you and keep you! I speak each of my children’s and grandchildren’s names out loud - bless them in their jobs and bless them in their schools - bless them in the lunch rooms and bless them on the school playgrounds - keep them as they drive their cars - keep them as they ride the school bus - keep them as they walk along the sidewalk - keep them in the workroom and keep them in the classroom.

Make His face shine upon you! I continue to speak their names - singing the prayer that they will feel and know God’s presence, love and joy throughout the day - that they would know contentment and strength - the their paths would be illuminated in each part of their day.

And be gracious to you. As the music continues - so do my prayers for my family! I pray for God’s favour in their lives - favour with their bosses and teachers. God’s kindness over them and through them - God’s compassion in and through them - knowing that these things are gifts given freely rather than a reward for good deeds!

May His favour be upon you and a thousand generations - Your family and your children and their children. I feel this keenly for my family. It began with my great-grand parent’s generation - then my grandparents - next my parents - and now mine …….prayers that asks for God’s blessing to continue through the years over my family. I love the book of the Psalms - written mostly by King David - and he says “it shall be told of the Lord to the coming generation; they shall come and proclaim His righteousness to a people yet unborn!” It’s huge for me to see the faith that my great grandparents stood for and passed down to my grandmother and mother and me - continue into my children and their children. It’s powerful. It’s amazing. It’s rich. It’s worth more than anything this world can offer.

May His Presence go before you - and behind you and beside you - All around you and within you - He is for you. As a parent and grandparent, I can’t possible be in 16 places at once but God can. I love that promise.

In the morning - In the evening - In your coming and your going - In your weeping and rejoicing - He is for you - He is for you! This saves me from worry and anxiety and panic - and instead it gives peace and calm and composure. Always - each school morning - for as many days as each of our boys went to school - both elementary and high school - I gathered them by the door and prayed this prayer over them. I reminded them that in all things God was with them. Often - even during university days - I would get a call or text - asking for my prayers for a specific situation affecting one of the boys on that day. I would remind them - He is for you. I’ve seen this in my own life countless times! I’ve felt the Presence of God in my rejoicing - yes - and in my weeping - especially in my weeping. He is for me. He is for you.

It never ends. My kids and grands are ever in my mind and heart.

Sometimes after the song ends - I rewind it and play it again.

Amen and amen.

It’s worth the drive to Port! So glad I made the good decision to exchange a golf membership ro a Pickle Ball membership.

YOU CAN TAKE THE GIRL OUT OF EASTERN ONTARIO BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE EASTERN ONTARIO OUT OF THE GIRL

Last weekend I took a solo road trip to eastern Ontario with a stop in Kingston to visit two of my sisters - then out to Westport to see my brother Phil and his wife Gwen in their new home there - and finally to Ottawa, where Ben and Jen and the kids participated in the Ottawa marathon road races.

Always - when I go to Westport - my mind drifts back more than 55 years ago. What do I remember? This………………………………..

Our family first went to Devil Lake in the early 70’s when my sister, Brenda and her husband, Ken, bought a lot on the lake - about 15 minutes from the village of Westport, just up the hill from Bedford Mills. I spent several weekends at the lake every summer from the time I was 12 or 13 - with my parents and brothers. Sometimes I would go myself and hang out with Brenda and the twins (when they were babies). Ken built a small cabin for their family to sleep in - while he was building the big cottage.

Fast forward to the spring of 1980.

Randy and I had just graduated from Tyndale and we had six weeks off before we would start our summer job directing a kid’s camp near Penetang, Ontario. In the fall we would begin full time ministry as associate pastor in Orillia at First Baptist Church. We had six weeks to kill. What to do?

My parents had recently bought the cottage next to Ken and Bren’s but had not yet winterized it so Randy and I asked them if we could live in it for the six weeks. They said yes!

No plumbing.

No heat.

No running water.

We snuggled in that bare bones cottage for 6 weeks and it was some of the finest weeks I’ve ever spent. We woke when the sun came up and went to bed went it got dark. Don’t judge us but we jumped into the freezing cold May waters of Devil lake to bathe. At that time of the year there was not a soul around. We canoed that lake every morning. Hours and hours. We watched the loons building their nest. We heard their haunting cries in the night if a predator happened to come near. We tried to get close to the turtles sunning on a log. One day we counted twenty or more of them warming themselves in the sunshine. In the afternoons we sat in the warm spring sunshine on the deck but if the rains came, we hunkered down in the cottage - under warm quilts. We drank cowboy coffee. We bbq’d. We got our water from the pump at the bottom of the hill near the little white Anglican church. We made quick trips to the outhouse. During black fly week, we hardly went outside.

All of a sudden it was June. The loon parents had two eggs in their nest. One of them was constantly on that nest while the other fished and offered warning calls. The whip-poor-wills came back and the whipped each evening. One night we counted 111 calls. We built fires and sat for hours under the stars - looking up to the heavens and talking about what it will be like to be there one day. Randy played his guitar and sang John Denver songs to me - night after night. We didn’t have a transistor radio so we had no clue who was winning the Stanley Cup playoffs. Maybe once a week we went into town for groceries and got some news. There were no cell phones in those days so a few times my parents drove out from Kingston to check on us to be sure we were “still alive”!

Fast forward 30 years! (2009-2010) Once again Randy and I found ourselves living in the Devil Lake area - this time - right in the village of Westport - once again living in my parent’s wee cottage. We were on sabbatical after 30 years in the local church ministry and quite frankly - our year in Westport was a year of happiness and bliss. Once again we lived simply. We hung out with friends at the coffee shop - we read book after book - I taught fitness in the basement of the Baptist church - we both ran endless numbers of kilometres around the village and countryside - training for 10kms and half marathons - Randy worked with a local handyman doing odd jobs around the village - we met new friends - and visited regularly with our eastern Ontario family.

Fast forward 4 more years to 2014…….when Randy collapsed and passed away so suddenly I told the kids that I didn’t know where to bury their Dad. We had pastored in Orillia, Listowel, Cambridge and Alliston but none of those places were permanent homes for us. As I prayed about this very important decision - it was like a light bulb went off and poof - the answer came - Westport. We had spent a year of rest there and now Randy would have his eternal rest in that quaint little villlage.

Last Friday as I drove from Kingston to Westport - I was overcome with nostalgia. I drove by the lakes where we spent endless hours canoeing with each other and our boys. I drove by the road that led to my parent’s cottage on “the hill”. After having lunch at my brother’s - I stopped at the cemetery and wandered over to my parent’s graves as well as Randy’s. It was raining so I didn’t stay long - just long enough to scrape some mildew off the grave marker - shed some tears - and carried on. It’s a beautiful spot really - overlooking the big Rideau Lake.

I drove through the town - by my parent’s home where we lived 5 years before - by the village bakery - by the Village Green - by the ice-cream store - by the gym - by the Cove Inn - by all these memories - and - once again - the memories rolled down my cheeks. But as well as shedding a few tears - my heart was also filled with such joy at the years we spent living in and visiting this dear village.

I drove up Foley Mountain (I ran up that mountain the day before we moved from Westport to Alliston) and headed to Perth (where the last fatal duel took place on June 13,1883 between Robert Lyon and John Wilson. They faced off in a romantic dispute over the affections of a teacher named Elizabeth Hughes. Lyon lost. Two years later Elizabeth married Wilson - who later became a member of Parliament). Who knew!!!!

I continued my drive to Ottawa - by the many lakes and rivers in that part of Ontario. My heart was full.

Growing up in eastern Ontario was truly the best. We camped every year at the campsites on the Long Sault parkway - picnicked at the beach - rode our bikes along the St. Lawrence River - fished - meandered along highway 2 from Cornwall to Brockville to go apple picking - swam to our hearts content in the river. My parents used to tell me that even as wee girl of two years old that the moment the car stopped in the parking lot at the beach - I was out and off and running. Someone was always assigned to watch my every movement.

After a whirlwind Saturday watching Ben and Jen and the kids run their 2 km, 5 km and 10 km races - I headed back up the 401 - towards home. As I drove west - the lakes and rocks of eastern Ontario faded behind me - as I got closer and closer to Kincardine, I enjoyed the endless fields of newly planted crops. I was listening to Spotify - and one of my favourite songs began to play…….GOODNESS OF GOD! It goes like this………………….

I love you Lord - for Your mercy never fails me. All my days, I’ve been held in Your hands. From the moment that I wake up - Until I lay my head - Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God.

All my life You have been faithful. And all my life You have been so, so good. With every breath that I am able - Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God.

I love Your voice - You have led me through the fire. In the darkest night - You are close like no other. I’ve known You as a Father - I’ve known You as a Friend - And I have lived in the goodness of God.

All my life You have been faithful. And all my life You have been so, so good. With every breath that I am able - Oh, I will sing of the goodness of God.

‘Cause Your goodness is running after, it’s running after me. With my life laid down - I’m surrendered now - I give You everything - ‘Cause Your goodness is running after - it’s running after me.

I drove in our driveway and Harv was out of the house in a moment - welcoming me home. Home! My Mom used to say - Home is where you hang your hat! So…..while a piece of my heart will always be in Eastern Ontario - the rest of my heart is right here - in Kincardine.

THANK YOU FOR THE MUSIC

I absolutely love the ABBA song - Thank You For The Music. I know you know it too. I can hear you humming it right now……………….

“I’m nothing special, in fact I’m a bit of a bore. If I tell a joke, you’ve probably heard it before. But I have a talent, a wonderful thing - Cause everyone listens when I start to sing - I’m so grateful and proud - All I want is to sing it out loud!

So I say - thank you for the music, the songs I’m singing. Thanks for all the joy they’re bringing. Who can live without it? I ask in all honesty - what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say - thank you for the music, for giving it to me.

Mother says I was a dancer before I could walk. She says, I began to sing long before I could talk. And I’ve often wondered, how did it all start - Who found out that nothing can capture a heart - like a melody can? Well, whoever it was - I’m a fan.

I’ve been so lucky - I’m the girl with golden hair - I wanna sing it out to everybody- What a joy - what a life - what a chance!

Thank you for the music - the songs I’m singing. Thanks for all the joy they’re bringing. Who can live without it? I ask in all honesty - what would life be? Without a song or a dance, what are we? So I say - thank you for the music - for giving it to me.”

I started taking piano lessons when I was seven years old. My first teacher was Mrs. Gardner. She taught me the discipline of regular practice - technique first and then my pieces and that discipline served me well for the next several years. I got up early each weekday morning - and practiced before I went to school - five days a week. (It drove my brothers crazy). My second teacher was a nun - Sister Robiard - and Sister was my teacher through grades 4 - 8. She had two pianos in her studio and we often played the same piece at the same time. She knew every song in every book. She was a living - walking - playing metronome. I loved her. I had my grade 8 piano by the time I finished elementary school and her encouragement was the main reason.

My Gramma Castle was also a huge influence in my life musically. She loved to play and sing and every time she came to our home - you’d find us both on the piano bench - pounding out British songs and our favourite hymns. My Gramma played and sang loud and proud and so do I! Oh, how I loved her. Gramma had a stroke when I was eleven and passed away seven years later. I think of her often when I play and sing. I’m grateful for how “instrumental” she was in my life musically and spiritually.

I started teaching piano and voice lessons when our boys were preschoolers. It was my joy to teach hundreds of students for the next 35 years. When the boys were 7, 8 and 9 - I decided I wanted to pursue more lessons. My goal was to achieve the grade 9 standard from the Toronto Conservatory - both the practical and theory. I asked a friend - who was an accomplished musician in Listowel and she became my third teacher. She inspired me as she taught. I practiced with the mute pedal down in the evenings after the boys were in bed and asleep. I rehearsed my grade nine repertoire and technical requirement for 18 months until I was finally ready to take the exam. I hadn’t taken a piano exam for about 15 years. I was nervous but ready and well prepared.

I told the following story to a friend just this past week about that grade 9 exam.

I arrived at the exam centre in Kitchener - full of confidence - but it wasn’t too long before the examiner made me feel extremely uncomfortable and nervous by his attitude and words. My fingers shook from the beginning and I struggled through the technique - I made mistakes in my pieces that I carefully memorized and my ear tests were not much better. I held in the tears until I exited the exam room and got in the car with Randy. I was disappointed and frustrated and angry. I phoned my teacher when I got home and shared what had happened. My teacher heard from other students that they had experienced the same thing and reported the examiner’s antics to the Conservatory at the University of Toronto. Later I heard they had let the examiner “go”. I did pass - but barely. I loved the theory and history courses that accompanied acquiring grade 9 - and excelled on those written exams. I began working on grade 10 piano but about 6 months into my preparation, my mother-in-law was diagnosed with cancer and Randy and I spent many days driving back and forth from Listowel to Burlington. My practicing evenings were few and farther between. After several months, my sweet “mil” passed away and I never did get back to those pieces. Grade 10 was permanently put out to sea.

Besides piano - I loved to sing. I sang in choirs at school and church - and it wasn’t long before I started singing solos. In elementary school I played Mary one year in the Christmas concert and a few years later, played Mrs. Santa. Both parts called for vocal solos. I sang solos often at church and in the Kiwanis festival. In my teen years I was asked to sing for several weddings. I never did take formal singing lessons - my voice - my mom said - was “God-given”. I studied voice on my own and soon, parents asked me to teach their children how to sing.

One of my best memories of teaching vocal students was while I was working at the Christian school in Guelph. I was introduced to a young girl who had a noticeable stutter while speaking but I quickly learned that when she was singing, the stutter disappeared. As the music teacher at the school, it was responsibility to choose the program for the Christmas concert. That particular year I asked my young vocal student if she would like to sing a solo at the program. She said yes and she managed to keep that fact a secret from her parents. We rehearsed and she was perfectly ready for the big night. That evening was magical and unforgettable for my student, her parents and for me. The lights in the audience were low - and the spot light shone on that young girl. She sang perfectly. After the evening came to a close, her parents rushed to hug their daughter and me too. It was a wonderful night that I’m sure they never forgot. I know I haven’t.

I’m delighted that most of my grandchildren have taken piano lessons and have sung or still sing in their school choirs. Some have participated in music and drama camps in the summer time. Last week I was delighted to attend THE NATIONALS - MUSIC FEST CANADA - where my grand-daughter - Sara - participated in two events. Her Ottawa school qualified to attend the prestigious event - in band and their jazz choir. While I certainly enjoyed the band’s performance, it was the jazz choir I was most interested in. Sara was the accompanist for the choir. They performed three songs and Sara played to perfection - she was as cool as a cucumber - ice in her veins. It’s not an easy task to accompany a choir or small group or a soloist. I cried. It was a proud moment for the two grandmothers and auntie and cousin who went to hear Sara perform.

My Mom used to tell me - that as a little girl I sang all day long - at home, walking along the side walk, in the car - everywhere. When I went away to college and then got married, Mom also used to tell me that when I left home, so did the music. She told me that the house was too quiet - the piano didn’t get played - songs didn’t get sung - too quiet.

In the weeks before Mom passed away, we played the old familiar hymns for her all day long. Often I would crawl in her bed with her and sing to her. She was very weak but always her lips were moving and her toe was tapping in time to the music. What comfort the words of those hymns were to us. What peace they brought to Mom in her last earthly days. What a great reminder of the promises of heaven.

As ABBA wrote - I’m grateful for the music - I’m grateful for the joy music has brought me all my life thus far - really who can live without music?

CHOICES

I CHOOSE WHAT I SOW. I CHOOSE WHAT I PLANT. I CHOOSE WHAT TO CULTIVATE. I CHOOSE WHAT TO WEED OUT.

I have never been a great gardener but my Mom was. Her gardens were the talk of the neighbourhood. She planted her perennials so that something was always in bloom - right from early spring until late fall. Mom knew the names of all her plants - as if they were her children - and she spent countless hours in her gardens - pulling weeds - moving plants around - making sure the shade plants weren’t in the sun and the sun plants weren’t in the shade. She knew how and when to split the plans and she knew when a plant had run its course.

I do love gardening and in the spring I eagerly await the daffodils and tulips to pop out of the ground. I love their brilliant colours but I don’t like the part where you have to wait to chop off their stems. I love watching for the perennials to flourish but unlike my Momma - I can’t remember their names. And then - things get busy - I’m playing pickle ball - or cycling - or walking with a friend or golfing with Harv - and a few weeks have passed without being in the garden. I’ve neglected things and weeds have sprung up everywhere.

I have to spend hours at a time pulling those weeds and in every direction that I look, there are more and more and more weeds. So often I wish I had spent a little bit of time each day tending my garden rather than neglecting it for weeks and then having to do it all at once. Balance is the key. I wish I had tended the plants and kept them safe from the intruders.

There is an obscure verse found in the Old Testament - written by a man named - Hosea - a prophet who called a spade a spade - so to speak. It says - “Break up your fallow (unplowed) ground - for it is time to seek the Lord - until He comes and showers righteousness on you.” The word - fallow - comes from the old English word for plowing - and refers to the practice of leaving fields unplowed for a period of time. When a field is unplowed, the soil is left alone to rest and regenerate but when left in this condition, it often becomes overgrown with thistles and weeds. The farmer should be careful to “break up” the fallow ground - to clear the field of weeds before sewing seed in it once again. This speaks right to my heart. Action on my part is required.

I choose to take the seeds of truth and sow them into the soil of right living into my life.

First things first - breaking up the unplowed ground. Not literally - but in my life. I need to address certain areas of my life. I need to break up the ugly areas. I need to get rid of some blockages that are hindering me. Things like - ingratitude - pride - envy - hypocrisy - a critical spirit - impatience. I know - all too well - the weedy things that intrude in my heart and seek to choke me. I am impatient. I don’t like it when people are late. I don’t like being held up in traffic. I don’t like it when others who are playing ahead of me on the golf course are slow. I don’t like getting behind a car in the drive-through line when I’m only ordering a coffee and their van is ordering for 7 people. Notice that all of the previous statements start with “I don’t like?” It’s selfish of me.

I must learn more about grace and understanding and then put those truths into practice in my life. If you have a good friend or sibling or spouse or partner who will be honest with you and if you are strong enough to listen - ask them what things in your life are needing “fallowing”. You probably know those things already but it’s easier to ignore them rather than dealing with them. It’s easier to cast the blame on someone or something else rather than making changes in one’s own life.

Secondly - seek the Lord! I could never, no never, survive this life without my faith. My journey has always been an adventure with God guiding me through hills and valleys - through the ups and the downs - through marriage and parenthood - now grand-parenting and my “golden years”!

In the summer of 2015, one year after Randy passed away, I was eagerly seeking for the next thing in my life. I was 57 years old, a widow, wondering and praying about my future. I didn’t want to go ahead of the Lord but I also didn’t want to lag behind. I was teaching piano and voice lessons and fitness classes but I also thought I should do something with a steady pay cheque. I applied for some ministry positions but nothing came to be. I considered buying a B&B in eastern Ontario as I love people and food and I thought that combo would be great. But once again - there were stop signs so I didn’t proceed with this option. My Mom counselled me to wait and pray.

Waiting is not stagnant. Waiting involves action. Lots of seeking God’s Word - the Bible - lots of praying and lots of counsel. Very soon after this period of waiting and seeking - at just the right time - God used mutual friends to introduce Harv and I - and - six months after we first started dating - we got married. What a gift Harv is to me. What a gift to have a second opportunity for marriage.

It is God who brings about the fruit of the Spirit in my life - I could never produce them on my own. It doesn’t come natural to be filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control.

Thirdly - righteousness will be showered on me! This little verse that Hosea wrote thousands of years ago - comes with a promise. When I break up the unplowed ground - when I seek the Lord’s help - then and only then - will the heavens open and righteousness will be showered on me - and on you too. What joy! What peace! What comfort! It’s there for the taking.

Mother Teresa wrote -

“People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centred - forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives - be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies - succeed anyway. If you are honest and open, people may cheat you - be honest and open anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight - build anyway. If you feel serenity and happiness, people may be jealous - be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow - do good anyway. Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough - give it anyway. You see in the final analysis it is between you and God - it was never between you and them anyway.

IT ALL BEGINS WITH A CHOICE. CHOOSE WISELY.

MY THREE SONS

On December 19, 2014, two of my sons stood shoulder to shoulder, in front of a group of mourners at their grandfather’s funeral to eulogize him - just five months after standing together at their own Dad’s Service of Remembrance. Two sons that morning and the third son far away in Moosonee, waiting with his pregnant wife for their new baby to arrive. Zac, Ben and Pete - speaking and sharing on behalf of our family - doing something that young sons aught not to have to do so soon. Strong sons. Strong grandsons. Loving sons. Loving grandsons.

A long time ago - 44 years coming - Randy and I spent the Christmas season waiting for our first born to arrive. He arrived almost two weeks passed his due date on January 15th. It was a long labour and after almost thirty hours the doctor decided that a C-section would be performed. It wasn’t too much longer before I heard the cries of our firstborn son. Randy and I were young! Really children ourselves. We were excited and delighted. We were inexperienced and made our fair share of mistakes but Zac survived and thrived.

Not too many months later we discovered that baby #2 was on the way. We were on our way north to Red Lake to visit my brother, Tim and his family and we stopped at a road side truck stop on hwy 17 for coffee and treats. I changed Zac, now 8 months old and fed him - enjoying holding him during the long car ride north. Randy arrived back at the car with muffins and coffee - but they smelled like cigarettes smoke and I promptly opened the car door and threw up. All that vacation in the north I woke with the familiar signs of morning sickness and fatigue. Yup - I was pregnant. Our sweet Ben arrived early the next spring and we had two darling boys - not quite 15 months apart.

We were a busy, young family. Randy was the assistant pastor at our church and I was at home taking care of our two little men. Two in diapers. Two growing little bodies to love and feed and teach. Christmas time that year we were entertaining both sets of parents and I was super tired all the time. I wasn’t sure what was wrong. Turns out - nothing was wrong. Everything was very right! Baby #3 was on the way. Pete was born in August - 16 months after Ben. Three sons in just under three years.

People used to say the strangest things! “Wow! You really had your kids close together!” As if I didn’t know this. How about this one!!! “Too bad you didn’t get at least one girl!” Really????? Or this! “It’s a good thing you stopped at three!” That’s none of anyone else’s business - how many or how close - your children are. Randy and I were thrilled to have three sons and absolutely loved having them close together.

The boys were always together. When there was no one else around - there was always at least one brother home to play with. When we went camping - there was always someone to build that giant sandcastle with - play “steal” on the beach and volleyball in the water. Three kids playing on the same baseball team is always a win. The boys were a grade apart in school - sometimes two in the same class. Not a problem. They played hard together and yes - sometimes (even a lot of the time) fought hard with each other. They are brothers.

I am so thankful for the values and truths that Randy and I taught our sons - truths passed down from my parents and Randy’s parents. We taught our boys that their relationship with God is the most important relationship they’ll ever have. We taught them to respect their elders - grandparents, teachers, friends. We taught them how to put a worm on a line and then how to take a fish off the hook without hurting it. We prepared them for a relationship with their future wives - how to treat them - how to love them - how to live with them. We taught them how to be a fair and loving parent to possible children. We taught them to be honest at school and in their jobs - how to be a reliable employee. We taught them to be faithful in the small things. We taught them how to cheer for the Leafs and Blue Jays and Raptors. We showed them how to deal with disappointment. We taught them to be men.

This will be my 43rd mother’s day. Being a wife and mother is all I ever desired. My dreams and prayers were answered in such a big way.

We instilled the basics - God is God and what He says is truth. I didn’t care if the whole world disagreed - you either put your trust in God or man. I’ll always choose God. He made us and knows us and always holds us in His Hand. Good works begin in the home. Who you are at home is who you are. Train a child’s character by teaching them to do good to their siblings and parents. Selfishness brings misery. Demanding one’s own way, walking over their siblings, hurting others with your tongue or fists, ultimately brings misery - for the one being selfish and everyone else in the house. Faithfulness is huge. Actions speak louder than words. Words are cheap and meaningless if you don’t live it out. Be responsible. Take care of the tasks that are asked of you. If it’s not nice, don’t say it. Words should edify and build up, not break apart. Your words reveal your heart condition. “Out of the heart the mouth speaks.”Enjoy being at home. We played lots of games - went for hikes - went cycling - swimming - played outside as much as possible - read the classics together - enjoyed music - watched the Leafs and the Blue Jays! Grandparent time! Our boys spent 17 summers visiting my parents at the cottage - a week or two enjoying the hot summer days - canoeing - swimming - fishing - catching frogs - eating and sleeping. Likewise before Randy’s mom passed away - the boys each spent three or four days - solo - at their grandparents in Burlington - mini golfing - going to the movies - watching air shows - baseball games - eating and sleeping! The best of both worlds - the lake and the city.

These sons of mine are now husbands and dads. I’m super proud of them.

It went by so fast.

THE GYM

For as long as I can remember I’ve spent time in a gym - always adding strength training workouts to whatever sport I was playing at the time. In fact - when I was in my 50’s - I certified with CanFitPro to teach fitness and personal training. I’ve been a coach and I’ve been a student. Both are fantastic.

I follow a podcast by Dr. Peter Attia who speaks about growing older with strength and vitality. He speaks about “lifespan” - how long you may live - and heathspan” - how well you live! “Both of these are of equal importance and an extreme of one without the other is not ideal.”

A few years ago - almost 6 years ago - I joined No Drama Fitness - in Kincardine. I started with a fantastic personal trainer - who put me through the paces! I learned the concepts of a cross fit gym - the workouts - the level methods - and after a number of months made the brave move to join a class. I now regularly attend the 9 am class and absolutely enjoy all the men and women in our class. Our two coaches are amazing and encouraging - challenging us to lift heavier - move quicker - achieve our goals and ring the bell when we do!

I’m a person who is motivated by setting goals. I always have been. I write all kinds of things down and desire to achieve a positive result. Our gym - uses something called Level Method. It’s not about extreme but about balance.

What do we do? Front squats - Upper Body Pull - Deadlifts - Upper Body Push - Upper/Lower Endurance - Weightlifting - Rings - Squat Endurance - Neuro and Core Endurance - Kettlebell - Flexibility - Running - Rowing and Aerobic Power Intervals. I’ve learned over the last several years to do all of these things.

Cross Fit gyms use a colour system as a guide to progress from beginner to more advanced. This allowed me to jump right in as a beginner and do what I could do at the time - now pushing myself to be better - safely - with good form and intensity.

Who knew I could climb a rope and touch the ceiling of our gym.

There are so many benefits of belonging to a gym. Could I do most of these workouts in my basement? Yes! Would I? Not likely. Probably not! I don’t love working out by myself.

How the gym has benefited me personally!

#1. Boosts confidence. I never knew that I could hurl a 14 pound medicine ball - from a squat position - to a line 7 feet from the floor (wall balls) - then clean 25 kilos - push press those same 25 kilos above my head - jump to a 20 inch box - and finish with burpees! This is called an API. You have one minute to accumulate as many repetitions as you can in each category before moving on to the next exercise. After completing each of the five movements - you rest for one minute! After 3 rounds - hopefully - you have 150 repetitions. It took me three attempts before achieving a positive result this past winter. I felt like an Olympic champion. I felt like I could do anything.

#2. Longevity for bone and muscle density. The older we grow, bone loss occurs. It’s a fact of aging. Weight lifting and resistance based exercises will help to protect those bones. Osteoporosis runs in my family and I’m trying my best to help myself out - to strengthen those bones.

#3. My gym buddies are my people. I really like the people I work out with. They are encouraging. They are fun. They laugh. They don’t take themselves too seriously. They miss me when I’m not there. I miss them when they aren’t there. They know about my kids and grandkids and I know about theirs. We celebrate each other’s goals and accomplishments. Everyone works at their own pace. It’s a great feeling to belong.

#4. Sometimes - meaningful conversations happen before or after - just a snippet of something really important - a parent’s passing - a friend who is sick - a grandchild who is struggling - words of encouragement are given - real life happens then.

#5. Lastly - working out reduces stress. At times - stuff - whirls around in my head and it’s possible to let that stuff stay there - however - at the gym - for at least an hour - all of that flies out the window and my head is relieved of carrying those thoughts. The Mayo clinic agrees with me! “Physical activity pumps up the production of endorphins, the brain’s feel-good neurotransmitters. This increases the feelings of happiness and reduces feelings of pain. It’s often called a runner’s high. Any aerobic activity, such as a gym workout, pickleball (they said it - not me), a hike - will create this happy feeling. Research has found that working out also increases other brain chemicals that help lessen pain.”

Right now I’m working on doing a strict chin up because this summer when I’m at the park with my grandchildren - I want to jump up on those bars or rings and pull my 67 year old chin right up past the bar. I want to be strong.

One thing I’m sure of though - even more than being part of a gym - even more than attending workouts regularly - even more than being active and strengthening my body - is that my days and years are held in the hand of my God - Whom I love and follow. Psalm 139:13 - 16 “For You formed my inward parts; You knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are Your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was was made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in Your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed, for me, when as yet there was none of them.”

Of course, I have no idea if I will live to be 70 or 80 or 90 or 100 (like my mom) - I think it would be cool to live to be 100 - regardless - it doesn’t matter! I live each to the full. I live my life - not the life of my sisters or my friends. I live the life I was called to live - to impact my own world in my unique way. I live knowing that my life is found in Christ and Christ alone. My value is found in Christ - not what people think of me or don’t think of me - not what is happening or not happening in the world. I live adventurously - expectantly. This life is not a timid - grave-tending life - it’s adventurously expectant! It’s exciting. I live to be a blessing to my husband, my children and my grandchildren. Yup - they come first. They are in my heart and thoughts each and every day.

By the way! My password on my gym app is “GoGet’Em2025!”