Kids these days are different from us!

Remember growing up in the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s! We rode in cars with no seat belts or air bags. We rode in the back of the car - loose! We drank water from the garden hose. We shared our soft drink with all our friends (and no one died). We ate cakes, white bread with real butter and drank pop but we weren’t overweight - we were always outside playing. We would leave the house in the morning - come home for lunch - go back outside until supper - and then outside until the street lights came on. Our parents didn’t worry about us - we were in the neighbourhood somewhere. We climbed trees - sometimes fell out of them - played with worms and mud pies made from the dirt - made up games with sticks and tennis balls - and although we were told it would happen - we did not poke out any eyes. We rode our bikes to our friend’s houses and knocked on the door or just walked right in. We had freedom - failure - success - responsibility and we learned how to deal with it all.

Kids these days are different from us! And that’s okay! Every generation that has ever lived has been different from the one before and the one after. And that’s okay! Being different is fine. Each family in each generation has the wonderful task and responsibility to raise their kids accordingly.

My mother-in-law and my mother were so gracious to me when I was raising my children. They gave advice when I asked. They helped where they could. They were encouraging and loving and an inspiration to me and they allowed me the opportunity to parent my boys the way I thought best for my family. Of course - it was very similar to the way they parented. I learned from the best.

When it was my time to be the grandparent and not the mother - I read a sentence in a book that resonated with me - “You, dear woman, had the opportunity to raise your family - in your way - in your time - - - now, give your children that same opportunity to raise theirs! You might not always agree with the methods or standards or guidelines in their homes, but it’s their home! Your role now is to encourage, love, pray, bless and commend!” And that’s what I try to do - encourage, love, pray, bless and commend.

Regardless of what generation you grew up in or living in the generation that is upon us - I love that Solomon - the wisest man who ever lived - gives us fantastic advice for children and their parents. My Dad - Stan Castle - was asked once to give the speech at a wedding and he said this - “May you both have the patience of Job - the wisdom of Solomon - and the children of Israel!” Patience and wisdom being the key parts to Dad’s advice! King Solomon asked the Lord for wisdom rather than riches or power but God gave him all three.

While achievements are important, King Solomon emphasized the need to prioritize a child’s heart and character - encouraging building kindness, compassion, gratefulness, generosity and to appreciate blessings in their lives.

Here are the things Randy and I instilled in the lives of our sons when we were young parents!

#1. Relationship and trust in God. Proverbs 3:5,6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make straight your paths.” Our sons attended church and Sunday school from Day one - almost from the first week of their lives. We taught them early to love God and to love the local church. We taught them to depend on God - to pray about everything - to be thankful for His good gifts to our family.

#2. Having integrity and honesty. Proverbs 28:6 “Better is a poor man who walks in integrity than a rich man who is crooked in his ways.” Teaching children to be honest and trustworthy is crucial for their well-being and for the benefit of those they live with. Imagine having all the money in the world but being a liar and a cheat?

#3. All about wisdom. Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” The values and principles that are instilled in a toddler/young child will shape their lives as adult. This training involves teaching them to discern right from wrong, make wise choices and to live with integrity. So needed in every generation….men and women who are wise. The habits, beliefs and behaviours we instill during a child’s formative years have a lasting impact.

#4. About work. Proverbs 6:6 “Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways and be wise.” When the boys were young, they had jobs to do around the house and those jobs were charted on the fridge…..stickers indicated the completion of each job….a reward (payday) was given when the required number of stickers was reached. They learned early they had responsibilities - make their beds - put away toys and sports equipment - wash or dry the dishes - show gratefulness - etc. They learned to work in small ways so that when the big chores came along, they were ready - in school - in sports - while working at camps - in their grown up life.

#5. Model it! Proverbs 20:7 “The righteous who walks in his integrity - blessed are his children after him.” Children watch everything a parent does and they take their cues from them. When spouses love each other - their kids see this. How parents speak to others and about others - kids hear that. Our kids are watching our every move - they will watch what we watch - they will read what we read - they will speak what we speak - they will go where we go.

My very favourite proverb that King Solomon wrote is this - “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23. Another version puts it this way - “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” Our heart is the source of all decisions, emotions and actions. So much is riding on keeping the hearts of our children free from destructive influences. Randy and I wanted our voice to ring in the ears of our sons - not the media - not their friends - not the environment - our voice.

Regardless of the generation I grew up in or the generation my sons grew up in or now, the generation my grandchildren are growing up in - these truths of King Solomon do not change. God help us to pray for - encourage - cheer on these dear ones to walk in the ways of wisdom - act justly - love mercy and walk humbly.