TEN YEARS! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO US!

I looked it up! The ten year anniversary is marked by tin or aluminum and it celebrates a decade of durable and flexible love. A decade down and a lifetime to go! Ten years is a powerful testament of our love, respect and commitment to each other. Tin and aluminium also symbolize strength and the art of being supple and cooperative - something we continue to do each day - for each other and with each other. We’re better together.

Our journey together began in the fall of 2015 - both widowed - two people - not young but not old - living in two different towns - waiting and praying for the next thing but not ever imagining it would be a marriage that would occur. Harv and I were introduced by friends - and agreed to meet for coffee. That coffee led to the exchange of phone numbers - texting many times each day - lunches and late night phone calls - more lunches - and love blossomed. In a very short time we knew! When you know - you know! And we both love the Leafs (this year has been tough in that area) - the Blue jays and the Raptors. A match made in heaven.

We were married on April 2, 2016 - surrounded by our children, grandchildren, siblings and friends. My son, Ben, officiated.

Through the years, we’ve had the opportunity to travel to Europe - the Caribbean - and across Canada.

When Covid hit in 2020 - we were devastated that my Mom was stuck in her retirement home in Cornwall all by herself. It was such a sad, difficult time for so many seniors and when I broached the subject of having Mom come to live with us - Harv immediately agreed. After some discussions with my siblings, Mom moved to our home in early November of 2020. After a few hard days of settling in - Mom came to love her time in our home. We set up her bedroom in the “front room” where she had a beautiful view of Lake Huron. Most of the time she thought she was living at the North Pole. Mom loved to share her five or six stories with Harv and I - over and over again - and we listened each time as if it were the first time hearing. Mom loved Harv. It seemed he was better at encouraging her to eat at the dining room table than I was. When she didn’t want to come to the table - we all ate in her room. She never ate a meal alone again after leaving the Retirement Home.

Christmas Eve. 2020

Mom passed away in our home on January 25th, 2021. It was our immense pleasure to care for Mom during the last three months of her life - keeping her safe and comfortable and well loved.

We spent a few winters in Florida - spending such happy days with my brother, Bob and his wife Lynn and my brother Ted, and his wife Irene. We often found ourselves at the Dunedin Ball park watching the Jays during Spring Training or eating at a sports bar - watching hockey.

The last couple of years we’ve spent part of our winters in Curacao - enjoying spending the time there with friends and family.

And of course we spend lots of time grandparenting - Moosonee (for a lot of years) - but now Kincardine - Kitchener - Ottawa and Peterborough. We’re on the the road a lot. We’re grateful for our 15 grandchildren and their parents.

It was Ruth Bell Graham - the wife of the evangelist Billy Graham - who said - “A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” Smart lady. It’s not always easy when two people - regardless of their ages - with two distinct and different personalities - marry and share life day in and day out. One partner will see things completely different than the other and have differing opinions on certain subjects. Sometimes - words are spoken that you wish you could take back. But at the end of the day - each must offer forgiveness - each must strive to be kind to each other - to have a tender heart for the other - to not allow bitterness to set in - be quick to listen - slow to speak - slow to get angry - and be the first to say “I’m sorry - will you forgive me.”

Here’s to the next ten! Better together.

MY BRO - TED!

Ted would have turned 75 this week! Three years ago - cancer took his body but not his soul.

Ted was born on March 28, 1951 - the 6th child of our parents - there would be three more children added to the family. Our older brothers and sisters could speak about Ted’s childhood years but - as the younger - I can only speak of Ted as my much loved older brother.

Ted was 7 when I was born (Harry - born in 1950 - Philip - born in 1953 and Tim born in 1955) - five of us born in the fifties - a magical time to grow up.

Ted was gifted in so many ways - an A student - an athlete - really - an all around nice guy. He was the first one in our family to attend university and after graduating from St. Lawrence high school - off he went to Waterloo. One spring break - I took the train from Cornwall all the way to Waterloo to visit him. That was an adventure. After his undergraduate degree was completed - he went on to Law School in Ottawa. Upon graduation - Ted went back to Cornwall and joined a law firm where he served our hometown community for 40 years - as a lawyer and as a faithful citizen. Ted married his high school sweetheart, Irene, in 1972.

Ted was generous - to so many - and to me personally. For all those years he handled wills and business transactions for everyone in our great big family and wouldn’t take a cent in return.

February 2010 - Randy and I were living in Westport. We were enjoying a sabbatical from the local church ministry - waiting for the next ministry opportunity to find us. We hosted the family day holiday that year in Westport and many of our eastern Ontario family came for an afternoon/evening of pond hockey, sliding, games, Olympic games, food and fun. At the end of this incredibly fun family day, Ted slipped me a note. Later in the evening, I opened it. He told me how very proud he was of me - having been put in difficult circumstances that year and remaining steadfast and joyful - included in the envelope was a cheque! “Go on a holiday!” Unexpected blessing. Ted was like that.

2014 - July! Ted was broken hearted for me when Randy died. We chose to bury Randy in Westport. Having pastored in three different communities - we didn’t really have a home - and so after some deliberation with my boys, we decided on Westport. This adorable village in eastern Ontario had been a rest stop for us from ministry - so it would be Randy’s final resting place. The graveside service was difficult but beautiful. It was a sunny, very warm July day - perfect really - cloudless blue sky and our friend, Steve Fleming led us gently and lovingly.

When we were back at the church for the lunch - unbeknownst to me - two things happened. My oldest son, Zac - overwhelmed with grief - stepped outside out of the crowded church hall. Ted saw Zac leave - followed him outside and wrapped his arms around my son and held him. Both of them crying - both of them overcome with grief. It was only weeks before Ted’s own death, that Zac told me how much Ted had done for him that day. An uncle comforting his young nephew. An uncle trying to help make sense of an unexpected death. An uncle being present in the moment of overwhelming grief.

The second thing that happened that day was something I wasn’t prepared for. While still in Westport, I received a text from the funeral home to stop by before I headed home to Everett - to pay the funeral bill. I was upset. The tears came quickly. I had just buried my husband. The memorial service hadn’t even happened yet - but once again - Ted stepped in. He went with me to the funeral home - took care of the bill - “don’t worry about it!” (I paid him later when my head was functioning!) Ted was like that. Always generous. Always doing the right thing at the right time. He noticed needs and met them.

January - 2023 - we were in Florida - Bob and Lynn, Ted and Irene - Harv and I. We golfed together. We ate meals together. We went to church together. We played cards and games. Ted and Irene even played a pickle ball game with us.

But….all through January - Ted wasn’t feeling great. Early February - after returning home - Ted called with the news that - after several tests - he had cancer. His voice was strong but raw. He was prepared for some hard days but he never had a chance. The cancer ate him from the inside out and he passed away on Monday, May 22, 2023.

His siblings had the opportunity to say our goodbyes on the Saturday and Sunday prior to his passing - my turn was on the Sunday afternoon - just hours before his faith in Jesus became sight. Ted was too weak to speak - but still tried to crack a smile. I sang to him - a couple of hymns we knew from our childhood - I told him I loved him - that he was always my beloved older brother - and soon, we all would be joining him in heaven. Ted passed away hours later, surrounded by his wife and daughters.

At the conclusion of Ted’s funeral service, the lawyers and judges from the Cornwall area dressed in their robes and colours and lined his final journey. I’d never seen anything like it before. It was a remarkable sight and showed such respect for my big brother.

Ted left a big hole in the lives of his wife, his daughters and their families, his siblings, his community, his friends and his church.

I miss you big bro! Eternally grateful for your impact on my life.

ST. PATRICK - AD 387 - 461 - IRELAND

Maewyn Succat (was given the name Patrick years later when he was ordained) was born in the late fourth century in Britain - into a religious family - a good family. He likely memorized the catechism as a young boy and knew the Scriptures well also. At some point during Patrick’s teenage years, Celtic pirates invaded his town and he was kidnapped, smuggled onto a pirate ship and carried off to Ireland. Patrick was eventually sold as a slave to a chieftain - was cut off from family and home - and was very much alone. I imagine he wasn’t much older than my teenaged grandchildren.

Patrick was given the responsibility of a shepherd for the chieftain and this position kept him isolated from humans. For weeks at a time, Patrick moved the sheep - sometimes in the freezing cold - the rain - sometimes sunshine but history tells us he was homesick and hungry most of the time. It was during these long, lonely days and nights that Patrick experienced a closeness with God he had never felt before. All the catechism he had studied and the Bible stories he had learned as a child returned to him. He began to pray night and day. He began to sense God’s Spirit in powerful ways. He took great notice of the Creator - probably because of the vast, green pastures - the bleating of the helpless sheep - and the ever-changing colours of the endless sky.

Patrick - “The Lord opened up my awareness of my lack of faith. Even though it came about late, I recognized my failings. So I turned with all my heart to the Lord my God and He looked down on my lowliness and had mercy on my youthful ignorance. He guarded me before I knew Him and before I came to wisdom and could distinguish between good and evil - He protected me and consoled me as a father does for his son.”

Miraculously six years after his capture, Patrick was awakened from a deep sleep in the middle of the night. He heard the voice of God say - “soon you will depart for your home country. Behold - your ship is ready.” Imagine? There was no waiting around for Patrick. Immediately, when morning came, Patrick fled - some 200 miles - in the direction of the sea. He arrived near an inlet - trekked up a hill and sure enough - a ship lay ready to leave. He made his way on board - and soon - he was going home.

I imagine it was quite a homecoming! Parents overwhelmed! Siblings excited! The town folk incredulous! The boy who had been dead to them (so to speak) was alive and well and home. Home!

But Patrick had been forever changed - Welsh by birth - schooled in classic Latin - but now - Celtic. It was hard to know where he belonged.

Sometime later - Patrick had another vision. In this particular vision he saw an Irishman holding up letters - entitled - The Voice of the Irish. When Patrick saw those words - he heard the cries of the multitudes - begging him to come back to Ireland and live among them. That vision recurred many times before Patrick finally responded - with a firm willingness to go. Before he returned to Ireland though - he spent several years in a French monastery learning spiritual practices and took theological training. Finally at the age of 48, Patrick was sent out as one of the first church planters to the Celtic peoples of Ireland.

History and legend indicate that Patrick’s patience, gentleness, kindness and courage invited conversations that led to a sweeping spiritual renewal of the Irish people. He moved from clan to clan throughout the county, sharing the saving gospel of Jesus Christ. It is said that Ireland is the only country in that era of history where conversion to Christianity happened without bloodshed. Patrick allowed Celtic culture to breathe and morph with its newfound faith. He was less interested in expanding the Roman Catholic church - but more interested in treating the Celts as children of God.

Consider Patrick’s prayer and may it bless you today.

“I arise today - through God’s strength to pilot me; God’s might to uphold me; God’s wisdom to guide me; God’s eye to look before me; God’s word to speak for me; God’s hand to guard me; God’s way to lie before me; God’s hosts to save me from the snares of the devil; From temptations of vices; From everyone who desires me ill; Afar and anear; Alone or in a multitude……Christ with me; Christ before me; Christ behind me; Christ in me; Christ beneath me; Christ above me; Christ on my right; Christ on my left; Christ when I lie down; Christ when I sit down; Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me; Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me; Christ in the eye that sees me; Christ in the ear that hears me.”

GOLIATH MUST FALL

You might have heard the story of David vs. Goliath. Goliath (of Gath) was 9 feet and 9 inches tall - his armour weighed 125 pounds and it is recorded that he taunted his enemies (the Israelites) everyday for 40 straight days. And then there’s David (of Israel)! David was the youngest of his family - a shepherd - and when his father requested that he bring food supplies to his 7 older brothers, he did just that. It was at the Israelite camp where David first heard Goliath’s taunting and was shocked that not one Israelite soldier responded to it. It was David - the shepherd boy - who went to King Saul with the mindset - “put me in coach”.

(My Pastor is preaching a series on this topic for the month of March. So far Pastor Adam has talked about the giant of fear and then this past week - the giant of rejection).

Rejection stings. It’s painful and it has a long memory. We’ve all been there. Spurned. Received the cold shoulder. Felt brushed off. Scorned. Snubbed. You get the picture. It hurts physically, emotionally, spiritually, romantically, and personally.

I’ve been there! You’ve been there.

A boyfriend broke up with me when I was 17 because I didn’t come from a rich family. Apparently we didn’t have the right connections. His mother did say I had nice straight teeth though. (What was I? A horse?)

I’ve been on the outside - looking in - when a group of women are talking about where they are meeting for lunch - and obviously - neglecting to mention the place or time to me - I was left out.

I felt the sting when one of my sons wasn’t accepted into the university of his choice - the marks were enough but not enough connections with higher ups!

Our pastor spoke of his own experience of being the last person picked at recess to be on the team - any team.

It’s what I dislike about the show Survivor. It’s all fun and games when you are hanging with your tribe - all for one and one for all - until it’s time to give someone the boot. Jeff says the fateful words - “the tribe has spoken” and before you know it - your torch is snuffed out!

I grew up in a home where I experienced acceptance and love and it shaped my life in response to the rejections that happened to me along my journey. I’m grateful and thankful for my parents. I’m forever blessed for the pastors and teachers I’ve had - men and women who have mentored me - poured into me - and shaped me to be the woman I am today.

Along my journey I’ve observed a few things about the giant of rejection - things Pastor Adam brought to the forefront………

#1. Rejected people reject people. Some people withdraw first so they won’t get hurt in the relationship. A very long time ago when Randy and I agreed to pastor a local church in small town Ontario, I set out to meet and greet the women who attended the church. Most of those coffee dates went 100% great - only one meeting didn’t go so well. The woman I was meeting up with told me in no uncertain terms that she didn’t want to spend time with me - become friends - walk with or share life - because one day I would move away. She told me that too many people had walked out of her life and one day I would do the same. I understand now. Then I didn’t. She wanted to prevent emotional pain in her own life by rejecting a possible friendship. It could have been from fear or low self esteem - I’ll never know. We never became friends only acquaintances.

#2. We don’t live for acceptance - we live from acceptance. . That truth is exemplified best in Matthew 3:16,17 - “and when Jesus was baptized, immediately he went up from the water, and behold, the heavens were opened to him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and coming to rest on him; and behold, a voice from heaven said, ‘This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.’" Jesus hadn’t performed any miracles yet. He hadn’t healed the sick. He hadn’t given sight to the blind. He hadn’t turned water into wine. He hadn’t made the lame walk again. He hadn’t stopped the issue of blood for the woman who had suffered for 12 years. He hadn’t raised Lazarus from the dead. He hadn’t gone to the cross. Before Jesus did any of those things, His heavenly Father spoke acceptance over Him.

My older siblings constantly remind me that I was cherished and loved - the 9th child to our parents - the little sister after four brothers. I was petted and carried around like a doll by all of them. Even before I had done anything to contribute to our family life - I was accepted.

Psalm 139 says we are formed intentionally - fearfully and wonderfully made - knitted together in our mother’s womb - our frames not hidden from God when we were being made in secret - woven together - all under the seeing eye of our heavenly Father. Rejection loses its power when we remember Who created us.

I am encouraged with the practical ways our pastor shared with us to handle rejection.

#1. Name the giant. You can’t defeat what you can’t define. Name the things that keep surfacing in life. Write them down. Acknowledge them. Then get help to do something about them. Phone a friend. Talk to a therapist. Ask your pastor. Pray.

#2. Replace the narrative. Change the voice in your head that has for too long focused on rejection and replace it. Record all the times you have been accepted and by whom. Replace lies with truth. Even when we fail and slip - God is always faithful to us.

#3. Step forward in obedience. Remember the shepherd boy, David. All he had were 5 smooth stones and a slingshot to defeat Goliath and of course, his belief that God was bigger than the giant. “Put me in coach!”

#4. Remember whose battle it is. Courage isn’t the absence of fear - it’s the presence of trust.

I’m encouraged! I hope you are too. We mustn’t look around for someone else to fight the giants that are placed in front of us. We might not have chosen them but they are our opportunities to grow stronger. Put me in coach!

COSTA RICA MISSIONS TRIP

When I was 17 - I made a promise at a youth conference - anything - anywhere - anytime! At that time I imagined my anything would be becoming a nurse and marrying a pilot - my anywhere would be some faraway land where we would fly people from their small villages to city hospitals - my anytime would be as a young adult in my 20’s and 30’s! Instead - I married a pastoral student - at that time - both of us were attending seminary - and shortly after graduation, settled into small town Ontario. We pastored four local churches over the course of thirty five years.

We had a few opportunities for cross - cultural ministry experience. After graduation in 1980 a group of young adults from Tyndale were heading to Great Britain for an indefinite time - to live - to mingle - to embrace the culture. Randy and I talked about going with the group but decided against it when the Orillia Baptist church reached out to us to join their staff.

Several years later the Baptist denomination of Ontario and Quebec contacted us and began a discussion about joining a team heading to Indonesia. By now our boys were in their upper years of elementary school and it seemed the timing was not right. Once again - cross cultural ministry seemed to elude us.

A third opportunity opened up when the boys were in high school - in New Zealand. I started packing! Randy unpacked just as quickly.

Fast forward to now!

In the fall of 2025 - my church - the Harbour - announced that a group would be going to Costa Rica on a missions trip. That Sunday afternoon - I sat in the den with Harv - chatting about the trip and my desire to apply to go with the team. I’ve waited 51 years to go cross cultural and I so wanted to be a part of this group. I filled in the application that very day! The last question on the form read something like this - Is there anything that would keep you from going on this trip? I quickly answered “my age” and then just a quickly erased that answer. My age would not hold me back.

There are twelve of us going on the trip. Let’s just say - my age brings up the average of the group!!!!

We leave Friday, April 24 - from Toronto - and arrive in San Jose late in the evening. Our night will be short as we leave at 5 am the next morning. Drive! Breakfast! Drive! Lunch! Drive! About mid - afternoon - we’ll hop on a river boat - then hike - and finally arrive in the jungle community of Amburi! Amubri - (often spelled Amburi) is a village in the Talamanca region of Limón Province, Costa Rica.

We’ll spend the week doing construction work in the morning and kid’s ministry (games and crafts and building community relationships) in the afternoon. We will be sleeping in tents!

Out of my comfort zone? Yup! Was I asking for comfort? Nope.

What am I looking to experience in Costa Rica? I want to encourage the local pastor and his wife and family - learn the names of their children and bless them. I want to gain a new perspective by immersing myself in a different culture - meeting the local people - seeing how they live - what they eat - how they do life. I want to make a difference in someone’s life. I want to grow closer to the team from my church.

Never say never. Fifty - one years after the desire first took root in my heart - it’s happening.

FORTY - FIVE YEARS MARRIED

My parents were married for almost 69 years - they married young (22 and 18) - they had children (lots of them) - they raised them and sent them off to live their lives, marry and produce grandchildren (which were many) - they grew older and lived awesome lives into their senior years - and when my dad got sick in his late 80’s, it was my mom who lovingly cared for him until he died at the age of 91. My mom would live 14 more years after my dad - her beloved spouse passed away.

I imagined that’s how every marriage turned out. I imagined that was how mine would go as well. Randy and I also married young (23 and 21) - we too had children (not as many as my parents) - we raised them and sent them off to live their lives, marry and produce grandchildren for us. But what didn’t happen for us was that we would have the opportunity to grow older together and live awesome lives in our senior years. That image of a perfect long marriage was shattered when Randy collapsed while out running and passed away one week later. I had become a widow at the age of 56.

It’s not what I wanted. It’s not what I had imagined.

In those early days of widowhood - I wondered about things. I wondered who would care for me when I was an old woman. I wondered who would hold my head and wipe my face when I was sick to my stomach. I wondered who I would travel with. I wondered where I would live or if I would move. I wondered what it would be like to grow old alone without my spouse. I wondered if my friends would include me in their dinner parties. I wondered if my kids would worry about me all alone in my house. I wondered if I should get another dog. I wondered about things.

There were things - though - I didn’t wonder about. My grief was raw but my faith was strong. There were truths that I knew without a shadow of a doubt.

I knew……..

#1. Nothing is unknown to God. I was born for a specific purpose and that purpose had not changed. All my life events were still in place. God never abandoned me.

#2. God was near to me. Even though I was walking through the valley of the shadow of death, I would fear no evil, for God was with me - His rod and staff comforted me.

#3. The Lord was working out His plans for my life. I knew He was fulfilling HIs purpose for me. I knew I had a purpose as a mom and grandma. I knew I taught piano lessons. I knew I was a mentor to young women in my church and neighbourhood. God was working and I would wait to see the next thing He had for me to do.

#4. An eternal perspective put Randy’s death in perspective. I didn’t see the whole picture - the whole time line. I only saw a glimpse. We are on this earth for such a short time really - a blip - because we are created for eternal life. The time of grieving is temporary.

#5. In God’s hands the difficult things of life eventually become good. I knew that God was able and willing to redeem Randy’s death and make good for me. He promised me and I held on to that promise. I didn’t see how. I didn’t see why. I didn’t see when. I didn’t see what. But God did and that’s all I needed.

In just a few short weeks - Harv and I will celebrate ten years of marriage. The years have flown by. If you asked us both - we’d say - at that time - we weren’t looking for a second spouse but when we were introduced by friends in late 2015, romance blossomed quickly and we married on April 2, 2016. Our wedding verse was from Psalm 30:5 - “weeping may last for the night but joy comes in the morning”. After both being widowed in our mid 50’s, after much grief and tears, we were both given a second chance at marriage.

Between my two spouses I’ll celebrate 45 years of marriage this April. I’ve been blessed. I enjoy being married. I love the together time. I’ve made plenty of mistakes but I’ve learned from them. I’ve said things I wish I could take back. I have needed to ask for forgiveness more times than I wish - because of the unkind things I’ve said. (To both spouses)! Sometimes I’ve acted - more like a two year old - than a grown woman. But I’ve grown through the years - stronger and wiser - more mature - marriage does that for you and to you. You know when to pick your battles and quite frankly - some things just don’t matter. It’s more about being loving and kind than getting your own way.

Second marriages are very different from first marriages. When you marry after your spouse passes away and you are older - you don’t have the same pressures and worries of raising children. Those days are behind you. Marrying later in life means you don’t have student loans to pay back. Both Harv and I didn’t have mortgages when we married so we didn’t have mortgage payments to face each month. We agreed together on what church to attend. We both loved to travel and spend some time in the winter in warmer climates and we continue to enjoy those gifts together.

But (and there are always buts) - a second marriage comes with the reminders that there was a first. Both of us had a life of more than fifty years that didn’t include each other - that didn’t include first families (siblings and parents) - children - grandchildren - experiences - joys and hardships - family vacations - trips - friends - jobs - hobbies - memories and the like! Speaking of friends (and family) - we’ve had some who have cut us out of their lives because we remarried. That hurts. But - we also have friends and family who have blessed us with their love and kindness because we remarried. (Until his passing in September, Harv’s father-in-law called me on my birthday each year and always expressed his joy for Harv and I.) It takes time to navigate through these things and that’s okay. We’ve been navigating for almost ten years. The key is to adapt and adjust and except and enjoy and embrace - in any relationship.

I read this quote recently - “One falls in love and then learns for the duration that one is at the mercy of someone else’s childhood. We don’t marry people and ‘their families’. We marry people and their childhood.”

I’m so grateful for the blessing of marriage. I’m grateful that as a young, twenty-one year old - I made vows to Randy - that we would be husband and wife - together for life. We were committed to those vows until Randy died. I’m grateful for the years that our marriage grew stronger - through the ups and downs - the joys and sorrows - the highs and the lows - 35 years strong!

I’m also grateful that I was given the opportunity to meet Harv and fall in love for the second time in my life and marry again. I’m grateful for the ten years that we’ve spent growing our relationship through the ups and downs - the joys and the sorrows - the highs and the lows - 10 years strong! May it continue for many years to come.

When we get married, we say vows. We vow to love each other through sickness and health - for richer or for poorer - for better or for worse - through thick and thin - ‘til death parts us. It’s a vow. Somedays it’s not easy. Somedays it’s messy. Somedays it’s spicy. But most days - it’s very, very good.

When the first wedding occurred - Adam and Eve - God said “it was very good.” God said “it’s not good for a man to be alone and that He would make a helper suitable”. What grace.

GIVE ME THIS MOUNTAIN - CHRISTOFFEL (PART TWO)

It was the summer of ‘69 - I was 11 years old and it was then that I met my brother-in-law - Ken Bartlett. My sister, Brenda, had moved to Kingston and shortly after moving there - met Ken. They enjoyed a whirlwind romance - got engaged and a wedding was planned for the next summer. I was a bridesmaid for Ken and Brenda and if I remember correctly, our dresses were blue.

Those first few summers that Ken and Bren were married were magical for me too. I spent many a Saturday and Sunday afternoons on their boat (that Ken built) - touring the St. Lawrence River and Lake Ontario. Ken built that boat himself. He did things like that. Built their family business. Built their houses. Built decks. For himself and for others. Clever! Handy! Smart! Figured things out (before google existed!)

From the get go - I’ve loved and admired my b-i-l. For over 50 years I have recognized that he is a good man. He is funny. He doesn’t take things too seriously. He makes people laugh. He makes everyone around him feel good about themselves. He’s loved his wife faithfully for 56 years. He’s a dad to three great kids and eight grandchildren. He loves his siblings well. He continues to go visit his brother’s widow years and years after his brother passed away. Ken is one of the good guys in this world.

Early in 1971 - Ken and Brenda bought a lot at Devil Lake - and the summer vacations and weekends continued. They warmly welcomed all of us to “the lake” and it’s where I spent so many idyllic - sunny days - through the 70’s.

Devil Lake is about 15 minutes from the village of Westport, just up the hill from Bedford Mills. Ken built a small cabin for their family to sleep in - while he was building the big cottage. On the walls of that small cabin were recordings of - fish caught - euchre scores - heights of the kids - drawings of the new cottage - messages and notes! If that cabin could talk - it would regale stories of laughter and some tears - secrets shared - and maybe even the night coke was thrown across the table!!!

In the late 70’s my parents bought the cottage next to Ken and Bren’s. That purchase meant my own family (Randy, Zac, Ben, Pete and I) would spend the next twenty summers vacationing at Devil Lake. Randy and I would spend 6 magical weeks at Devil Lake after graduating from seminary in 1980. No plumbing. No heat. No running water.

We snuggled in that bare bones cottage for those weeks and it was some of the finest weeks I’ve ever spent. We woke when the sun came up and went to bed went it got dark. Don’t judge us but we jumped into the freezing cold May waters of Devil lake to bathe. At that time of the year there was not a soul around. We canoed that lake every morning. Hours and hours. We watched the loons building their nest. We heard their haunting cries in the night if a predator happened to come near. We tried to get close to the turtles sunning on a log. One day we counted twenty or more of them warming themselves in the sunshine. In the afternoons we sat in the warm spring sunshine on the deck but if the rains came, we hunkered down in the cottage - under warm quilts. We drank cowboy coffee. We bbq’d. We got our water from the pump at the bottom of the hill near the little white Anglican church. We made quick trips to the outhouse. During black fly week, we hardly went outside.

All of a sudden it was June. The loon parents had two eggs in their nest. One of them was constantly on that nest while the other fished and offered warning calls. The whip-poor-wills came back and the whipped each evening. One night we counted 111 calls. Please stop. We built fires and sat for hours under the stars - looking up to the heavens and talking about what it will be like to be there one day. Randy played his guitar and sang John Denver songs to me - night after night. We didn’t have a transistor radio so we had no clue who was winning the Stanley Cup playoffs. Maybe once a week we went into town for groceries and got some news. There were no cell phones in those days so a few times my parents drove out from Kingston to check on us to be sure we were “still alive”!

All too soon those magical 6 weeks came to an end and off we were to the big world of full time jobs - leaving behind our college days. It was because of Ken and Brenda and their generosity to us years earlier that led to that magical time in my life.

Fast forward to now. My brother-in-law, Ken, is 85 years old and last week - he climbed Mount Christoffel - right here in Curacao. Ken is fit. He is determined. Did I mention funny? He is a spiritual man. He is wise. When I told him that I had climbed Christoffel last year (with my friend Julie Brown) - he said “let’s do it - I’m in!”

We got up early last Friday morning - at 5 am - in order to be at the site and at the base of the mountain at 6:30. We chatted during the 45 minute drive to the mountain about life, marriage, family, kids, spouses, wills…..and shared more than one laugh. After all these years - Ken continues to “crack me up.” We paid our $15. - “signed our life away” and drove to the base.

It was a glorious morning.

Ken set the pace. I climbed when he climbed. I stopped to rest when he stopped to rest. We drank water. We clamoured over boulders. We moved to the side of the path to allow faster climbers to go by. I started telling people we met that Ken was 85 and each one answered with only one word! RESPECT

Mount Christoffel is approximately 1200 feet high. We reach about 1150 and came to the very steepest part of the climb. All rock. Not much to hang onto. I scouted things out and came back down to the area where Ken was resting and said “we’ve reached our summit!” We so enjoyed the view before we started our trek down.

The way down was tough for Ken. Different muscles. Legs tiring. We took our time to eliminate the possibility of falling. We took frequent rests. Probably not easy for an older man to take the hand of his younger sister-in-law and lean on her but take my hand he did. We called ourselves the “dream team”. And as always - Ken was upbeat.

We made it to the bottom in one piece. Hot. Fatigued. But still smiling. We shared a morning that I will remember the rest of my life. My 85 year old b-i-l is remarkable. He is my hero. I had the chance to tell him what he has meant to me - ever since I was 11 years old. I will remember his incredible strength and drive to conquer this mountain.

Way to go - Ken.

“Give me this mountain!” is a request that Caleb of the Old Testament made in Joshua 14:12 - where at the age of 85, asks God for the area inhabited by the scary Anakim. Caleb’s request shows his faith, strength and recognition of God’s promises regardless of the challenges ahead. Just like you - Ken!

FOUR MEN IN THE FIRE

There is a story in the Bible - in the book of Daniel - about three young friends. Their names were Shadrach, Meschach and Abednego. These young men were captives in a foreign land because the wicked king Nebuchadnezzar had besieged Jerusalem when they were young boys. They were taken as prisoners to Babylon where they would be taught the ways of the Chaldeans.

King Neb made a rule! Whenever he played music - everyone was required to bow down to worship the golden statue he had made of himself - sixty cubits high - almost 30 metres! Shad - Mesh - and Abe - had been taught in the ways of the Lord - faithful Israelites - (I would love to know their parents) - and they refused to bow. What is the first of the ten commandments? “You shall have no other gods before me.” The king said bow and they said “we won’t bow!”

When King Neb heard they weren’t obeying - he gave them one more chance. He gave them an ultimatum - “bow or I’m going to through you alive into a fiery furnace.” The music started - and they didn’t bow. The boys told the king that the God whom they served would be able to deliver them - but even if He didn’t - they still would never bow to him. Neb was really mad. (Sound familiar - someone doesn’t get their own way and they go ballistic!) He was furious! King Neb ordered the furnace to be 7 times hotter than it was usually heated. Shad - Mesh and Abe - were bound in their cloaks, their tunics, their hats and their other garments - and were thrown in. The soldiers who threw them in were burnt to a crisp.

It seems the the King had a bird’s eye view of all the happenings. Apparently he jumped to his feet - exclaiming - “we cast three men in but I see four!”

I’ve been there! Not literally! Not in a furnace that is seven times hotter. But it’s felt that way. The heat! The oppression! The pain! I also know so many - family and friends - who’ve been thrown into their own fires. Fires of depression - divorce - death - separation - misunderstandings - job loss - family squabbles - accidents - cancer - physical and emotional pain - drug and alcohol addictions - so many hard things.

Take my new friend - CH - who I met for fifteen minutes last Friday night at the beach get- together here in Curaçao. We happened to be in the washroom at the same time and I commented on the pretty colour of her bathing suit. I was startled to see a tear roll down her cheek. She said she didn’t remember the last time she had received a compliment let alone a hug. C was from New York City - had lived on the streets for a time - had boiling water thrown at her chest (I saw the scars) - had had several relationships that never led to a commitment - and was in Curacao at the gift of a friend. We discovered we were almost the same age. I encouraged her with the only words that came to mind……..God had preserved her all these years for a specific purpose - that He cared for her - that He loved her. In all the trials and fires she walked through - the 4th Man was with her. We promised each other that we’d keep in touch. Maybe we will. Maybe we won’t - but I’ll always treasure the brief time we shared together. I will always remember her story. CH - the 4th Man promises to be with you always.

I have an elderly acquaintance - a widow for several years - independent - has an active social life - but faces the ordinary and natural issues that elders experience. I think about her several times throughout each day and of course - pray for her often. She loves God and has been in a relationship with Him all her life. She told me recently in a conversation that this winter has been somewhat difficult with so many dull days - not much sunshine.

A few weeks ago she had a Fourth Man in the Fire experience. It was a very snowy day - dark clouds looming overhead - and she told me she was standing in front of a window in her house - thinking about her life. Out of nowhere - the snow stopped briefly - the clouds parted for just a few minutes - and the sun shone right on her face. It illuminated her being and the whole room. She was filled with a warmth she’s never felt before. She told me she cried out in gratefulness and thanksgiving - knowing she was experiencing a very special God moment. The 4th Man showed up for her that day.

“Blessed assurance - Jesus is mine - He’s been my fourth man in the fire - time after time.”

Those three guys - Shadrach - Meshach and Abednego - it says - “the hair of their heads was not singed, their cloaks were not harmed and no smell of fire had come upon them”. Old King Neb changed his tune! He recognized the miracle too.

Like the three men in the fiery furnace I can testify the words from my future “funeral” song - Indy reminds me of this every time we hear it!

“All my life You have been faithful - all my life You have been so so good. With every breath that I am able - I will sing of the goodness of God. I love Your voice - You have led me through the fire - In darkest night - You are close like no other. I know You as a Father - I know You as a friend - I have lived in the goodness of God.”

SUNSHINE AND WARM WEATHER

When I married Harvey Lootsma - almost ten years ago - and moved to Kincardine - he warned me that I was moving to “Grey”/Bruce County - emphasis on the grey. I thought (at the time) - it can’t be that bad! It is. Once the lovely autumn weather is over - the clouds gather over Lake Huron and they don’t leave. You can count on one hand the number of sunny days we have through most of November, December and January.

Yes - we keep busy! Yes - we have a jigsaw puzzle on the table. Yes - I continue to workout and play pickle ball as much as possible. Yes - we go to our church. Yes - we have dinner with family and friends - meet for coffee - and walks - but man - do I miss the sunshine.

So…..this morning……Harv and I are jetting off to Curacao for a few weeks of sunshine and surf and heat.

I remember the very first time our family went away for a week in the winter time. Our sons were in Grade 9, 8 and 7 and a friend offered us the use of her dad’s condo. We couldn’t believe it. We had never been able to go south in the wintertime and now it was happening. We made our plans - set our departure date - started to pack……and then……the unthinkable……my friend called to say that the condo had been sold and was no longer available for us to use.

I felt sick. What would we tell the boys. They were already in bed. I cried and then I did what I always did when I wasn’t sure what to do - I called my Mom. She could fix everything. Mom shared my disappointment - then said - “give me some time - let’s sleep on it - I’ll call you in the morning.” Sure enough. Mom called the next morning to say a friend in a senior’s trailer park said we could use their trailer for a week. Same week. Just a different location. Needless to say - Randy and I were thrilled we didn’t have to cancel our trip. We were thankful we didn’t have to tell the boys we weren’t going.

We left on a Thursday afternoon and planned to drive through the night - make it to St. Pete’s, Florida in 24 hours or so. Zac - was in the back of the van with a snorkel out the window for “air” - Ben and Pete were in the middle seats in the “captain chairs” - me riding “shotgun” and Randy was driving the first shift. Everyone was super excited. We crossed the border at Detroit (got a little turned around and ended up in an “unsavoury” area but finally found the right way and headed south. Through Michigan. Then Ohio. Then Kentucky. I got the “graveyard” shift for driving - around midnight! The boys were sound asleep. Randy was ready for a nap. I was wide awake. After changing positions - Randy fell fast asleep and I was the only one awake in the van. I drove through the Carolinas - and into Georgia - listening to music - praying for my family - 4 guys all snoring! Finally around 4:30 am - I pulled off I-75 and into an IHOP parking lot - shut the van off - and fell asleep myself.

We all woke up around 7:00 and I’ll never forget the warmth of that morning sun - the green grass - the flowers blooming - and that warm, warm air. It was winter back home but it was summer in the south.

I’ve been on several winter vacations since that very first one and I’m never grown tired of that moment - when you step off the plane - and the wave of hot, humid, delicious air hits you squarely in the face. I don’t take it for granted.

One of the wisest men who ever lived was King Solomon and he wrote this - “Sunshine is sweet, it is good to see the light of day.” This verse reminds me how much a person wants - desires - needs - appreciates - the warmth and light of the sun. It also reminds me of how we all need to be “sunshine” to the people we come in contact with each day.

How does one be the sunshine in another’s life?

Offer it freely. Don’t be stingy in our words to others. Don’t withhold encouragement and gratitude. Do fill the cups of others willingly and lovingly.

Offer compassion. It’s like balm on a burn or cut when we show empathy rather than criticism to our loved ones and friends. Don’t tell them “what it was like in your day” or “you should have done it this way”. Encourage and bless them.

Be generous. Generosity always wins. Withholding “sunshine” hurts both the giver and the receiver.

Encourage perseverance. The sun comes up every morning and goes down at the end of the day - even if the clouds are covering it. On those cloudy days - especially on the cloudy days - in a spiritual sense - it’s important to be the cheering section.

Dispel negativity. This is the worst. It’s one of the most devastating words I know. A negative spirit really kills. Be and do the opposite - promote positivity.

C. S. Lewis wrote in his book - The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe - “Always winter and never Christmas.” Lewis wanted his readers to understand that under the rule of the White Witch - the people of Narnia were trapped in a world without God (Aslan) - joy - light - and redemption. Christmas changes that notion.

And yes! In the next few weeks - I’ll bask in the literal sunshine of the warm Caribbean sun and I know I’ll meet some new friends where I will be able to spread a little sunshine. I’ll bring some home with me!

MARKERS IN MY LIFE

Maybe because the calendar turned over another year for me - or maybe with the realization that my mom’s passing occurred 5 years ago this past week - or maybe that half of my grandchildren (and three more are very close) are taller than me - or maybe (between two husbands) I’ve been married for 45 years - or maybe that’s it’s January in Bruce County and I’ve had a lot of time for reminiscing - I’ve been thinking of the markers that have shaped my life. Specific events that make me who I am today. Circumstances that changed things for me. Landmark happenings. I came up with 12!

#1. I was the 9th child born to Stan and Alice Castle. My heritage is very important to me. I could have been born anywhere in the world - could have been born to anybody - but I believe that in the providence of God - so my birth in my family is no accident. My parents raised a large family and taught us to love God, love our family and friends - work hard - play hard and grow up to be strong, contributing adults. My Dad worked at the “mill” - Domtar and my Mom stayed home to care for us. They were faithful members of the Baptist church and took us all to Sunday School and church each week - we sang in the choirs and went to youth group. It was never a burden for me. I miss my parents. I miss their wisdom and wit. I miss their presence in my life but I have them in my heart. Being born a “Castle” defined my life.

#2. My Mom’s cancer diagnosis when I turned 16. On my 16th birthday - my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I was so scared. All my sisters and brothers had left “the nest” by then - it was just Dad and I home that day. It was a Saturday. I can still see where the phone was in the hallway - where the conversation was taking place - where the news was bad! I thought my Mom was going to die! She didn’t though. Her surgery took place and although the year following was difficult - Mom lived for more than 46 years after that fateful Saturday. That particular day - though - I decided to make everyday count. Not a day would go by that I wouldn’t live life to the fullest. Not a day would go by where I would live with regrets or bitterness. Not a day would go by where I wouldn’t tell my Mom how much I loved her. I did just that until she passed away in our home ten minutes before my birthday in 2021.

#3. My moment when I got serious about being a Christ follower. I was 17 and I attended a youth event at my church. It wasn’t anything new. I had heard sermons and lessons all my life but that day it was different. The speaker challenged our generation of teenagers if we would be difference makers. It was 1975 - 51 years ago! Do you remember the 70’s? Drugs - Sex - and Rock and Roll! He asked us to be “out of the ordinary”. To be sincere. To be radically uncommon. That day I made a promise that I would! It’s a decision I’ve never regretted.

#4. My marriage. Randy and I were married in June of 1979 and our marriage was good - for 35 years until he suddenly passed away. June 2nd, 1979 was a magical day - sunny and hot - and all our family and friends gathered to celebrate our union. Randy and I planned to go into full-time ministry after graduation from seminary and so we chose as our wedding hymn - Living For Jesus. “Living for Jesus a life that is true, striving to please Him in all that we do, Yielding allegiance, glad-hearted and free, this is the pathway of blessing for me.” I’m grateful for those 35 years. We were kids when we got married and we grew up together. We learned lots of things the hard way. Randy grew up in a family that had two children - a family where my father-in-law “ran the show”. I grew up in home that had nine children - where my Dad worked regular shifts so my Mom “ran the home”. She taught all of us to be strong and independent. In the early days - Randy and I had some interesting conversations - because of how we were raised. We worked it out though and life hummed along so very nicely for us - as we raised our children - as we aged - as we leaned into God’s goodness for each other and individually. I know how loved I was by Randy - how he always had my back - how he always wanted my best - it went both ways. We were a good team.

#5. #6. #7. My sons! I’ve written so much about my boys through the years. Each of their births changed my life. Zac - January 15, 1982 - Red letter day! Ben - April 6, 1983 - Celebration day! Pete - August 20,1984! Day to Remember. My life was totally changed for the better - forever. Not a day - sometimes not an hour - goes by - that my mind isn’t wandering to Kitchener - to Ottawa - and to right here in Kincardine - wondering how their day is going - wondering how their family life is going - wondering if work is going good or great. My mind wanders back to when they were preschoolers and I had the opportunity to pour everything I had into their lives during those days - and the the night-time routines - 20 minutes with each son - lying down with them and talking about their day - singing to them - praying with them. As they grew older, they didn’t need me in the same way - they put themselves to bed - they got themselves up in the morning - and then one day - they were gone. Empty nest. The house was too quiet. There were no empty glasses left in the family room. No empty chip bags. No running shoes scattered by the back door. No knock on the door with their friends popping by. Our job was complete. But was it? Not really. It still goes on today but in a different way…….and it will until I take my last breath. Always a mom.

#8. Tim’s death. My brother died in a canoeing accident on a beautiful afternoon in the summer of 1994. The call came on a Sunday night - just after midnight - the early hours of July 25th. I could tell from Randy’s voice that it was bad news - someone had died. As I listened I thought - probably someone from our church family - not ever imagining in a thousand years that it was my beloved big brother - Tim. Our brother Ted was making the calls to each of us siblings - relating the very sad news - Tim had drowned Sunday afternoon in the McKenzie River near his home. No one - remotely close to me - had ever died. My grandparents - yes - but weren’t they supposed to die? Not siblings. We were all devastated. We cried. We grieved. We knew life would never be the same again. But I also became more aware of other’s sufferings. Other families had the same things happen to them. I learned to be more compassionate and learned to lean into others who would go through the death of a loved one and support them. I also learned to trust in God’s gracious love and knowledge that death is not the end but only the beginning of life in heaven. “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.” Psalm 116:15

#9. Ministry in a fish bowl. We began pastoring in Cambridge in the late 1990’s and completed that part of our lives in 2009. This marker is a difficult one. We began in 1998 with such high hopes - we were excited for this new chapter in our lives to begin. The boys were all in high school and had embraced the move to the city. They immediately found great friends - both at the church and at their school - excelled in the classroom and in the gym. We felt it was a good fit all the way around - until it wasn’t. Without sugar coating things - after 16 months of ministry and fantastic growth - some church members felt threatened by the growth and change - and very soon we knew our days were numbered. After several meetings (them wanting us to resign quietly - we didn’t) - a non-confidence vote was called and we lost. We were fired without cause. Painful - absolutely. But in another sense - grateful - we wouldn’t have to tiptoe around and throughout those painful weeks - our boys were rockstars. They were a tremendous support to us in those days - mature beyond their years. For the next 9 years we served in the same community in a tiny church and the people blessed us with their love for us and for the ministry. Near the end of our tenure in Cambridge, the little church we were serving in joined a major network - headquartered in the States - and they decided to bring their own pastor in rather than keep us on. Once again we were shepherds without sheep. The thing is - our faith is in God - not people. People are fickle and change. God doesn’t change. And so we waited and trusted God for the next thing. After a year of waiting and praying and trusting - God led us to a wonderful, caring group in Alliston - where we would be loved for the next four years. After those experiences I have a strong affinity to support our pastors and their families. Love them. Support them. Enough said.

#10. Marriages of my sons. Ben and Jen were married in 2007. Pete and Heather in 2008. Zac and Tracy in 2009. Their Dad married all three of them. I had a new role - mother-in-law. After living in a very testosterone dominated house - things were changing. I had daughters (in-law). I watched how my sons began dating - watched them fall in love - listened to the plans and hopes and dreams. I learned from another friend that M-I-L’s should do three things - keep quiet - nod your head in agreement - and wear beige! All joking aside - I did my best to be supportive and love our “girls”. All these years later - I’m ever so grateful for Tracy and Jen and Heather. They are the perfect mates for my sons - they are smart and intelligent women - and great moms to their kids. I read this statement years and years ago - “You had the opportunity to “run” your own household - don’t try to run your d-i-l’s!” Good advice. I pray for them each day and offer support where I can. These six have my heart.

#11. Randy’s death in 2014. My adult life is divided into two parts - before Randy died - and - after Randy died. I wrote this on August 21, 2014. “It shouldn’t have happened. It is an anomaly outside of Divine intervention. It occurred to me that Randy’s death shouldn’t have happened. James (his running buddy) was there - right with him - and started CPR immediately. An off-duty police officer stopped 30 seconds after Randy collapsed. A doctor “happened” to be cycling by and also stopped. But - God was arranging Randy’s home going. God really does rule the whole world. God rules over the calamities in my life. Pain is real. God is not against me. He is for me. God is in control. God is faithful. Because of Randy’s life - I trust other lives will be changed. May God be glorified. If I try to get God off the hook of His sovereignty - I lose it for my sustaining future. I don’t need to know why. I don’t need to understand. I need to trust.” And I did. I leaned into God like never before. Since the day of Randy’s collapse - I have had countless opportunities to encourage other widows and help them through their grief and loss.

#12. My marriage to Harv. My last marker (thus far) is this. In late 2015 - when I was not looking for a second husband - God had someone already picked out for me. A man who - loves God - was married for 34 years - was a dad to two daughters - and also a widower. A man who - like me - had lost his spouse to death and was very much alone. Two lonely and alone people - God brought together. It was a quick courtship but when you know - you know. We married in April 2016. I’m so grateful for Harv and our life together. That first year of marriage we used Deuteronomy 24:5 - as the key to a successful relationship! “If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married!” Harv and I spent one year doing everything together and I do believe we brought great happiness to each other. And now ten years later - Harv golfs and I play pickle ball but always at the end of the day - we’re there for each other. Our home - on Boiler Beach - is a place where family and friends gather for meals and swims and camp fires and overnights. Our marriage continues to grow stronger as we allow lean into God’s Word - Love is patient and kind. It is not jealous - not pompous - not inflated. Love is not rude - it does not seek its own interests. It is not quick tempered and does not rejoice over wrong doings, but rejoices in the truth. Ten years! We’re only just getting going.

Thousands of years ago - Joshua - the leader who brought God’s people into the Promised Land - was instructed by God to do this very thing. “Take twelve stones (markers) and place them where everyone can see - and when your children ask - ‘what do these markers mean’ - tell them.” My markers are for my children and grandchildren and friends and acquaintances to know all that God has done for me through my life - through the difficult, really hard times - and also through the really good - great times. All my life God has been faithful. All my life You have been so, so good. With every breath that I am able - I will sing of the goodness of God.

These stones have been given to me by my grandchildren. I treasure them.

SIX SEVEN

Six Seven! Have you heard this “word”?

Merriam-Webster defines it like this. “Six seven (or 67 or 6 7, etc.) is a nonsensical expression used especially by teens and tweens that is connected to a rap song and also to a 6’ 7” tall basketball player.

Teens and adults alike have tried to explain it. Some say it means “so-so,” especially since kids often pair the phrase with an up-and-down hand motion. Others argue it refers to a person who is tall, some think it stands for a basketball term, and so on. The bottom line is, the term “six seven” is nonsensical—which is sort of the point. As one tween TikToker put it under another video, “I think the point is that it makes no sense.”

All through Christmas vacation when the grandkids were here - that’s all we heard!!! Six/seven!

Six/Seven is way more than a word to me though. I turned 67 last January in Antigua - 361 days ago. It was a fun year to be 6/7! In four short days - another trip around the sun begins.

I love quotes. When I see one I want to remember - I write them down in my journal - to read and re-read. Here are some of my favourite quotes from the past year - my year of being 6/7 - things I learned - things I want to share with others - whimsical things - some happy - some sad - some funny - some thought provoking - some spiritual - some political - some about families - some about growing older………Here are a few of my favourites!

Portia - from the Merchant of Venice - “The quality of mercy is not strain’d. It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven - upon the place beneath. It is ‘twice blest’. It blessed him that gives and him that receives.” (Act IV Scene I) I am reminded that it is an extraordinary gift to both give mercy and to receive mercy…..it marks a difference from the world view. Our culture doesn’t encourage this characteristic.

Dead Poets Society - “We don’t read and write poetry and stories because it’s cute. We read and write because we are members of the human race….and the human race is filled with passion. Medicine, law, business, engineering - are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain. life. But - books, poetry, beauty, romance and love - well - these are what we stay alive for.” Everyone has a story. I spent more time listening this past year - more time asking questions - less time talking - more time encouraging family and friends to tell me their stories - to share their hearts and passions and dreams. It’s what makes the world go around!

Toby Mac - “God is working for you today. Heaven is holding conversations about you. Angels have been assigned to you. Be at peace. Leave it in His capable hands.” I can only imagine these conversations. I am blown away that the God of all the universe is talking to the angels about my well-being. This is so meaningful to me. What comfort. What joy. What a blessing to know that all of heaven is cheering for me - encouraging me - spurring me onward and upward - working things out for my good. It’s humbling and keeps me in perfect peace.

Unknown - “A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” I’m constantly reminded that in this world of “dog eat dog” how important it is to build each other up - to compliment a stranger with the colour of her dress - to tell a “sister” that her smile lights up a room - to remind a friend that their place in your life is not just needed, it’s enjoyed and wanted. My light doesn’t grow dimmer by speaking life into another. It doubles the enjoyment.

C.S. Lewis - “I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time…..waking or sleeping. It doesn’t change God. It changes me.” Prayer is such a gift from God to us. He calls us to Himself. He beckons us to tell Him everything at any time of the day or night - I think especially in the night. Only a loving Father listens to the cries of His child at 3 am and offers comfort and peace and rest.

Unknown - “I absolutely adore my grown up kids. But there are times I miss their littleness with a force that steals the breath out of my lungs.” As the years go by - the more I remember - their tiny hands and feet - their tiny voices calling out - their chubby arms wrapped around my neck - their first words - their scraped knees - their broken hearts - their laughter and giggles - their everything. I remember and there are moments I’d like them back - but alas - they live in my heart.

Annawin - “I thought God lived in the miracles. But I met Him in the waiting. In the mornings with nothing new. In the pain of surrender when nothing made sense. But I trusted anyway.” I’ve spent time in the waiting rooms of life. Waiting for healing. Waiting for reconciliation. Waiting for a friendship to be renewed. Waiting for a phone call. Waiting for an invitation. Nothing to do but wait and trust. And it’s been in the waiting where I’ve grown stronger - wiser - calmer - dependent - more courageous.

Diane Keaton - “I never understood the idea that you’re supposed to mellow as you get older. Slowing down isn’t something I relate to at all. The goal is to continue in good and bad - in all of it………to continue to express myself……..to feel the world…….to explore…..to be with people……to risk……to love. I just want to know more and see more and feel more!” Don’t you love this? Do you just want to shout “hallelujah”! I do! Slowing down is not in my vocabulary! Continue. Live. Feel. Move. Love. Hug. Try. Smile.

Pastor Spencer - “In a compromised culture - I will stand for truth. In a cancelled culture - I will fight for others. In a self-centred culture, I will walk humbly with God.”

Jess Urlichs - “Can we put someone in power - who plants seeds and not fear? Makes sure every single person - at the table has a chair. Can we put someone in power - who leads with their heart - who builds bridges - not walls - to keep families apart? Can we put someone in power - who knows the weight of a cry - that shatters your soul - that breaks you inside? Can we put someone in power - who will mend and not break - doesn’t lead to feel big - who will give, not just take? Can we put someone in power - who is still willing to learn - use their fire for warmth - not to tear down and burn? Someone who cares about people and the smallest voice - not just profit and power - who gives people a choice? A person who feels the grief of another? Maybe the world should be ruled by a MOTHER.” No explanation needed!

See ya 6/7! Bring on 6/8!

FORTY FOUR YEARS A MOMMA

When, I was a little girl, I was asked the question “what do you want to be when you grow up?” - my answer was always the same - a mommy! I wanted a house full of children - sons and daughters. The answer to that question may have varied through the years - “a nurse but really a mom” - “a teacher, maybe but really a mom - always a mom!

After marrying Randy in June of 1979, we both finished our degrees at Tyndale Seminary and graduated in April of 1980. In September of that same year, we moved to Orillia, where Randy began his calling as the Associate pastor at First Baptist Church. He jumped right into his role and used his gifts with grace and love and fun. We looked forward to starting our family and I began to pray - like Hannah of the Old Testament - for a child - “O Lord of hosts - remember me - and my desire to have a child. Hannah continue to pray daily” and so did I - and in the early Spring of 1981, I knew a wee one was “on the way!” Randy and I were beyond excited! My prayers and desires and hopes and dreams of becoming a momma was coming to fruition.

I was “due” late December (1981) or early January. My pregnancy was uneventful - really - just normal. I loved my growing belly. I’ll never forget feeling those first flutterings of movement around the 4th month. We talked about names - Rebecca - for a girl but we couldn’t come up with a boy’s name. It was in my 8th month that I attended a pastor’s wives conference and met a woman - who had a son, named Zachary (God remembers). My parents arrived just after Christmas and since the baby was supposed to come any time - my Dad went back to Kingston to go to work and left Mom to stay with us to welcome our first child.

New Years came and went. I remember those days of waiting. Randy would go to the church office each morning and Mom and I would bundle up and walk and walk and walk - hoping to get my labour started. In the afternoons - Mom encouraged me to rest and she did odd jobs around the house for us. Finally - during the early hours of the morning of January 14th - the stirrings of early contractions woke us up. After labouring for the next 30 hours - Zachary Mark Jolliffe - weighing 8 pounds and 5 ounces - entered the world by Caesarean Section at 10:10 A.M. on Friday, January 15th, 1982. My dream of being a Momma was 23 years in the making and now - forty four years later - I wouldn’t change a thing.

“I am tender and fierce. I am soft and strong. I am fragile and courageous. Sometimes all in one day!” (HT)

Those early days of motherhood were truly blissful. I revelled in the joy of being Zac’s momma. The night feedings were my favourite - I’d make a cuppa - dim the living room lights - put the music on soft - and let my little nurse away. Sometimes we’d both doze off and Randy would come downstairs - turn out the lights - shut off the music - and - tuck us both back in bed. Those days passed all too quickly and soon we were counting Zac’s life in months rather than days. It wasn’t long before baby #2 was “on the way!” Joseph Benjamin (Ben) Jolliffe (God will increase) was born on Wednesday, April 6, 1983 at 9:42 am - again by Caesarean Section. Peter (Rock/Strength) Nathaniel Jolliffe was born on Monday, August 20, 1984 at 10:25 am. Our quiver was full! (Psalm 127:5)

Adam Grant said this about parenting - “Success as a parent is not determined by whether your kids get into elite schools or prestigious professions. The real test of parenting is not what children achieve, but who they become and how they treat others. We’ve been sold the wrong scoreboard. Parenting isn’t about impressive offers, packed resumes or applause. It’s about raising humans who are kind when no one is watching - who own their own mistakes - who speak up for others - who know their own worth without needing a spotlight. Success as a parent is measured by integrity - empathy - ability to love and be loved. Because raising a good human will always matter more than raising a high achiever. A child’s character will carry them further than their credentials.”

That was our goal - our dream - our purpose - our intention in raising our sons.

Our boys never knew a time when they didn’t have each other. They were so close in age. They went to the same schools - usually two of them in the same classroom. They played on the same baseball, basketball, soccer, football - (you name the sport) teams through the years. They played on worship teams together. They worked at camp IAWAH many - many summers - on staff together. They applauded each other. They challenged each other. They stood up for each other at their weddings and they stood side by side when they eulogized their beloved Dad. They always had each other and still do.

Randy and I were kids when we had our kids. We all grew up together. It was our intent to raise our sons to love God - love each other and themselves. We spent a good amount of time outside - going on hikes - playing road hockey - sand-lot baseball - water fights in the yard - camping - and summer vacation at my parent’s cottage in Westport. The boys learned to swim at the lake - (swimming lessons were in there too) - and canoe and catch frogs and fish and help Grampa stack wood. In the house - we played board games - read books - watched the Leafs and the Blue Jays and broke up more than a few tussles through the years. We also learned together - to live with grief when my brother died suddenly in the summer of ‘94 and then, when their beloved Gramma Jolliffe passed away in February of ‘95. Randy taught them how to love sacrificiously by loving me well. He taught them to be men.

Today - they are all loving husbands - sacrificial dads - faithful friends - but first - they were my sons. I am their Momma and for that I am truly grateful.

FOUR DAYS! THAT'S ALL IT TOOK!

Did you happen to read last week’s blog! It was about the word that I have chosen for this year! A word that I want to pursue more fully in my life.

That word?

Excellence

This is what I wrote last week! “It won’t be easy. In fact - I almost want to pick another word. An easier word. Like joy. Or gifting. Or friendship. Those words seem to me less difficult. Less in your face. However - I’m choosing to pursue excellence and I know it will put me to the test. How? Because everything will be a choice. Choosing grace when I’m offended. Choosing forgiveness when someone hurts me. Choosing resilience when relationships are testy. Choosing courage to step outside of my comfort zone. Choosing passion when I need to invest time and effort in something when I’d rather not. Choosing creativity to step outside the box and be different.”

Four days! And then I was smacked in the face! The incident happened out of the blue. The test came. I wasn’t prepared. I had no warning! I was blindsided. But happen it did. My reaction surprised me. There were tears and more tears. There was frustration (on my part). There was sadness. There was anger. And more tears. I couldn’t stop crying. My heart was broken again.

Should I have been surprised? Probably not! Was I? Absolutely. Remember the saying - “the best laid plans of mice and men?” This is a famous line from Robert Burn’s poem - “To a Mouse” - written in 1785. Apparently Burns accidentally destroyed a mouse’s nest while he was ploughing a field. It’s a reminder that life is unpredictable and no matter how much you plan - sometimes circumstances happen out of the blue and disrupt your goals - sabotage your intentions.

After some hours had passed - I texted a friend to see if she could go for a walk. And even though she had just returned from a long walk herself - of course - she agreed to meet me. Perhaps she sensed my urgency. Perhaps she sensed the static of my short text. Regardless, her response was “absolutely”. We walked and talked. She was not in a hurry to tell me what to do. She let me cry. She let me unburden myself. She was a comfort to my hurtin’ heart. We walked some more and we talked. We went further than we had planned and as we were nearing the end of our walk - her kind advice helped my head and heart connect. I would choose grace. I would choose resilience. I would choose courage.

Some of you know how much I love the teachings and quotes of C.S. Lewis. (Someday I will get to Oxford, England and visit the pub where Lewis and Tolkien hung out with their literary friends.) It’s called The Eagle and Child and this group - called the Inklings - met informally on Monday or Tuesday at lunchtime in a room nicknamed the “Rabbit Room.” Surely it was there they discussed their works-in-progress and sought each other’s advice.

About pursuing excellence - Lewis said that it is rooted in surrender. “The full acting out of the self’s surrender to God therefore demands pain: this action, to be perfect, must be done from the pure will to obey, in the absence, or in the teeth of inclination.” Surrendering the desire to be right - surrendering the desire to not overlook - surrendering the desire to go low - is painful - and just takes good old-fashioned gumption and grit and the will to be Christlike.

“I cannot always choose what happens to me but I can choose what happens in me.” (DW)

I still love my choice of my word of the year! I will pursue excellence. I will learn from this experience and I will grow stronger. I am stronger.

.

WORD OF THE YEAR

For the last number of years I’ve picked a “word of the year”. It’s kind of like a new year’s resolution but not. In 2024 - I picked the word - JOURNEY.

2024 was certainly a journey for me - spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. I quoted my dad who once said to me - “Don’t just arrive at your destination - take time to enjoy the journey!” Funny that he said this as he was always in a hurry to get to the next place.

Another fabulous quote that I read early in 2024 - “And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year - Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown! He replied - ‘go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way!’” And travel with my hand in God’s hand I did and will continue to.

And so the JOURNEY of 2024 began. Harv and I (physically) visited our family and friends - it seemed we were either coming or going. Roadtrips were taken east - west - north and south. It always brings us great joy to spend time with our siblings in their homes - with our children and grandchildren in their homes - with friends - laughter during shared dinners - tears shed because of disappointments and losses - celebrating birthdays and anniversaries - watching hockey games and running races - basketball and volleyball games - we’re on the sidelines and in the stands.

Of course - the biggest journey of 2024 - was my trip to Spain with Zac and Pete - and our Camino walk. It brings back such strong memories for me. I want to go again. Any takers?

And then…….the word for 2025 was……

GATHER - so many opportunities for this word to come to fruition come to my mind - “to collect things - from different places” - “to put your arms around someone and hold and carry them in a careful and loving way” - “to become faster, stronger” - “to make a greater effort to be stronger and braver and more courageous” - “to make myself ready to do something special or difficult or challenging”.

Some similar words that come to my mind - assemble, congregate, combine, connect, merge, arrange, concentrate, join, rally, forage, understand, surmise - to name a few.

I’m excited to see how my word for 2025 plays out in my life.

Interesting - you betcha.

Challenging - always.

To quote my granddaughter - “Bring it on! I was born ready.”

And gather we did! Family and friends came to our home during the year - for a meal or two - for a night or two or three or more - for small group - for a coffee or tea or lemonade - for a beach day - for a quiet conversation - to meet up for a walk along Boiler Beach - to meet up for a bike ride. Sometimes the gatherings took place in the homes of my children and siblings and friends. All of those gatherings were treasured times - banking time and making memories.

Which brings us to today - the first day of 2026. Once again I’ve pondered - I’ve thought - I’ve gone back and forth - I’ve deliberated - and have decided on the word I want to focus on this year!

Excellence!

Recently I was asked by my pastor to lead the Tuesday morning prayer group and the topic I was given was one of our church’s key statements - excellence - we always bring our best!

I introduced the topic by comparing a Motel 6 to a 5-Star Hotel. Have you ever been to a motel - where the sheets are thin - where the bath towels are the size of tea towels - where there is a small container of watery shampoo but no conditioner or lotion - where there are stains on the carpet - where the drapes don’t quite meet and the parking lot lights shine in? You get the picture. Compare that to a 5 star - gold list hotel. The towels are thick and luxurious - the sheets are 1000 thread - the products include everything you could ever want - where there are no stains on the carpet - where everything smells fresh and new - the kind of place where you want to stay and stay and stay. What’s the difference. Excellence. You get what you pay for.

Two of my bible heroes come to my mind - Daniel (as in the lion’s den) and Ruth (as in “where you go I will go”)! This is what is said about Daniel - “then this Daniel became distinguished above all the other high officials and satraps because an ‘excellent’ spirit was in him.” About Ruth it was said - “now my daughter - do not fear. I will do for you whatever you ask - for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of ‘excellence’”!

Both Daniel and Ruth lived a life - above par - they didn’t settle for mediocre. Daniel chose to obey the teachings of his youth in a strange and foreign land. Ruth learned the teachings of her mother-in-law (after the death of her husband) and chose to make those teachings her own. They both lived in selfless devotion to God. They both lived faithful lives even when there were no angelic visits and no appearances from the heavenly hosts.

The Greek word translated “excellent” comes from “diaphero”which means “transport” or “differ”. These words encourage us to ascend above the norm - to be different through the qualities of virtue and goodness.

My desire this year is to aspire to bring my best - to have and excellent spirit - at home - on the pickle ball court - at church - with my family - with strangers - and with my friends. I want to pursue truth, honour, justice, worth and bravery. I hope to let go of self-reliance, pride and control - I want to put aside my own plans, desires and ego.

George Mueller said - “There was a day when I died. Died to George Mueller: his tastes, his opinions, his preferences, and his will. Died to the world and its approval and censure. died to the approval or blame of my brethren and friends. I only study to show myself approved by God.”

It’s not easy. In fact - I almost want to pick another word. An easier word. Like joy. Or gifting. Or friendship. Those words seem to me less difficult. Less in your face. However - I’m choosing to pursue excellence and I know it will put me to the test. How? Because everything will be a choice. Choosing grace when I’m offended. Choosing forgiveness when someone hurts me. Choosing resilience when relationships are testy. Choosing courage to step outside of my comfort zone. Choosing passion when I need to invest time and effort in something when I’d rather not. Choosing creativity to step outside the box and be different.

C.S.Lewis said this about excellence. “The full acting out of the self’s surrender to God therefore demands pain: this action, to be excellent, must be done from the pure will to obey, in the absence, or in the teeth of inclination.”

These three things I do know - - - - excellence is a goal worth pursuing - - - - there is a cost in pursing excellence and it is rooted in surrender - - - - a life of excellence must be portrayed in every day life.

THAT VERY FIRST CHRISTMAS

I’ve heard the story of the first Christmas for 67 years now. Probably you have too. I’ve sung the Christmas carols. Probably you have too. I’ve gone to countless Christmas Eve services and probably you have too. I feel like I know the characters in the story really well and maybe you do too - but maybe we still have things to learn about them. Maybe they are more human than we make them out to be. Maybe they are just like us - but were part of the greatest event that has ever happened on this earth in all of history. So - one more time ….enjoy my thoughts about them. If you have never met these people - well then - today’s the day - to meet the primary men and women who first met the baby Jesus - and then later - the child Jesus.

Matthew 1:18-25 “Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way! When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly. But as he considered these things, behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, ‘Joseph , son of David, do not fear to take Mary as your wife, for that which is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins. All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet: (Behold a virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his hame Immanuel - which means God with us!) When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him: he took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son. And he called his name - Jesus.”

Joseph - was young - probably a teenager still - a carpenter by trade. He made things. Measured twice. Cut once. He planned things. Get betrothed to his beautiful Mary. Marry her when the betrothal was completed. Just a normal teenager - anxious to get on with life with his sweetheart. Everything was prefect - until it wasn’t. Everything was normal - until it wasn’t. After Joseph hears Mary’s news - pregnant (and he knew he wasn’t the father) - by law - he could have divorced her. He could have abandoned her. He could have sent her packing right back to her parents - in shame and in embarrassment. But he didn’t. He was a righteous man. Before Joseph gets an angel. Before Joseph gets a sign. Before Joseph gets a dream. He has already chosen to be a godly man. Way to go - Joe! You did the right thing. You took Mary as your wife. You honoured your God. You named the baby Jesus. Hey Joseph! Nobody clapped for you but Heaven noticed your obedience to God and your love for Mary.

Luke 1:26-38 “In the 6th month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin’s name was Mary. And the angel came to her and said, “Greetings, O favoured one, the Lord is near you!” But she was greatly troubled at the saying and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be. And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favour with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And Mary said to the angel, “How will this be, since I am a virgin?” And the angel answered her, “The Holy Spirt will come upon you and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy - the Sons of God. And Mary said - “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word. And the angel departed from her.”

Mary - a young girl - a teenager! Just living life! Learning from her mother how to eventually run her own household. Betrothed to Joseph. Counting the days until the betrothal would be permanent. Longing to be married. Dreaming of her wedding day - as every young, engaged girl does. Pining. Couldn’t wait to be Joseph’s wife. Until the unthinkable happens. An angel appeared and everything changed. All of Israel had been waiting for 400 years to hear from God about the prophesied Messiah but to Mary it must have been unimaginable that she was the chosen one. And yet! She was. Her response was one of trust over fear - obedience over disbelief - surrender over rejection. Mary didn’t live by her feelings - she lived by faith. Way to go Mary. Thank you that you didn’t give into your fears - that you trusted in the teaching of your people - that you went with Joseph to a strange town and gave birth to the Son of God in a barn. Thank you that you were wise beyond your years. Thank you for your mother’s heart.

Luke 1:5-23 “In the days of Herod, king of Judea, there was a priest named Zechariah. And he had a wife - Elizabeth - and they were both righteous before God. But they had no child. Now while Zechariah was serving as priest, he was chosen by lot to enter the temple of the Lord and burn incense. And there appeared to him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar of incense. Zechariah was troubled and fear fell upon him. But the angel said - “ Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer has been heard and your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you shall call his name John. And Zechariah said to the angel - “How shall I know this? For I am an old man, and my wife is advanced in years?’ And the angel answered him - “I am Gabriel. I stand in the Presence of God and I was sent to speak to you and to bring you this good news!” And behold, you will be silent and unable to speak until the day that these things take place, because you did no believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their time.” And when he came out, he was unable to speak to them and the people realized that he had seen a vision in the temple. After these days his wife Elizabeth conceived.”

Zechariah - you were a priest - godly man - righteous - blameless in observing the commandments and ordinances of the Lord. Waiting. For the Messiah. Waiting for your own child. You remind us that God is always working in the waiting. You remind us that waiting is never wasted. God may have been silent for a very long time but He was not still. Way to go Zechariah! Yes! You doubted the angel’s proclamations. Yes! You doubted that your wife would still conceive! Yes! You were silenced by the angel Gabriel. But even in your doubting - your prayers for your own child would be answered and your calling as a priest is still recognized 2000 years later.

Luke 1:39-45 “In those days Mary arose and went with haste into the hill country, to a town in Judah and she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth. And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit and she exclaimed with a loud cry, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb! And why is this granted to me that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For behold, when the sound of your greeting came to my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy. And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord.”

Elizabeth - you were an old woman when we first meet you - childless - feeling and knowing that shame - longing - lonely - but still full of faith and love for your God. You were surprised when your relative, Mary, arrived on your doorstep when you were six months into your own pregnancy and you welcomed her with open arms. You had waited so long! You prayed. You hoped. And finally it was happening. And yet - when Mary arrived - everything changed for you. You were so excited for Mary. Your spirit knew something was very different about Mary’s baby. You had a very specific revelation about the child in Mary’s womb. You called him “my Lord.” Way to go Elizabeth! You supported - encouraged and celebrated Mary’s pregnancy above your own. I can only imagine the conversations you enjoyed with young Mary during the three months you spent together. An older woman. A young teenager. Both pregnant in unusual ways. Both carrying very special cargo. After you gave birth to your son - the relatives wanted you to name him after your husband but you insisted that his name would be “John”. Thank you for reminding us to be Elizabeth’s to all the Mary’s we meet. I’m that “older” woman now. Help me to be aware of the “Mary’s” in my life - encourage them - love them - support them.

Luke 2:25-32 “Now there was a man in Jerusalem, whose name was Simeon and this man was righteous and devout, waiting for the consolation of Israel and the Holy Spirit was upon him. And it had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not see death before he had seen the Lord’s Christ. And he came into the temple and when the parents brought in the child Jesus, to do for him according to the custom of the Law, he (Simeon) took him up in his arms and blessed God and said - “Lord, now you are letting your servant depart in peace, according to your word; for my eyes have seen your salvation that you have prepared in the presence of all peoples, a light for revelation to the Gentiles and for glory to your people Israel.”

Simeon - you were an upright and devout God follower all of your life - hard to do in that first century - the rule of the Roman occupation was not easy - but you lived your faith anyway. You were waiting to see the Messiah. God promised you would see Him before you died. And then one day it happened - I wonder if you woke up that morning thinking that “today would be the day” or did you anticipate that everyday? Did you arrive at the temple every morning expectant? I think you did. It was going to be a celebration day for you. Way to go, Simeon. Your example of waiting with anticipation is something we should be doing too. You were calmly expectant. “One look into the face of Jesus and you knew the hope of your life had been fulfilled. One look into the face of our Saviour and we will know the same.” (Max Lucado)

Luke 2:36-38 “And there was a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was advanced in years, having lived with her husband seven years from when she was a virgin and then she was a widow until she was eighty-four. She did not depart from the temple, worshiping with fasting and prayer night and day. And coming up at that very hour she began to give thanks to God and to speak of him to all who were waiting for the redemption of Jerusalem.”

Anna - you were there at the temple too - on the 8th day of Jesus’ life - when Joseph and Mary brought him to the temple for the purification. You had been married for only seven years. Seven years! And then your husband died. You were such a young widow. We don’t even know your husband’s name. No children are mentioned. It is believed you were a widow for 84 years which meant you were close to 100 years old. You spent every day of all those years - at the temple - praying and fasting - night and day. Waiting! (Seems to be a theme here). Way to go Anna! What joy you must have felt when you saw the Messiah with your own eyes. And what was your response? Thanksgiving. Your whole being was consumed with gratefulness. And to everyone who would listen, you spoke of the redemption for Israel. Makes me want to do the same.

Luke 2:8-21 “And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with great fear. And the angel said to them, “Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger.” The shepherds said to one another - “Let’s go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us. And they went with haste and found Mary and Joseph and the baby lying in a manger. And when they saw it, they made known the saying that had been told them concerning this child. And all who heard it wondered at what the shepherd told them. And the shepherds returned (to their flocks). glorifying and praising God for all they had heard and seen, as it had been told them.”

Shepherds - “The night was ordinary until it wasn’t. The sky was ordinary. Until it wasn’t. The sheep were ordinary. The shepherds were ordinary. And then God hooked on an EXTRA at the beginning of that word. Had He not - everything would have stayed the same. But God dances among the common and that night He did a waltz. The sky exploded with brightness. Sheep baaed with curiosity. Shepherds awoke. The night was ordinary no longer.” (Max Lucado)

Shepherds - scruffy peasant men watching over a bunch of common sheep - wearing all the clothes they owned because it was cold - a winter night. You probably smelled like your sheep - pretty stinky. You were conscientious - some were dozing but one or two of you must have been awake - keeping their eyes on the flock. You are nameless. Way to go - Shepherds! Even though you must have been in shock when the angel appeared and gave you a message - and more shock when the skies were filled with a multitude of heavenly host praising God - you instantly decided to head into Bethlehem and find the Baby. When you found Mary and Joseph and the Baby (just as the angel said) - you purposed to tell everyone you met about your “God-moment”. Thank you for not keeping it to yourself. Thank you for being brave. Thank you for your example - showing us that our response must also be to - glorify and praise to God.

Matthew 2:1-12 “Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, behold, wise men from the east came to Jerusalem, saying - “Where is he who has been born king of the Jews? For we saw his star when it rose and have come to worship him.” When Herod the king heard this, he was troubled and all Jerusalem with him; and assembling all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Christ was to be born. They told him - “In Bethlehem of Judea.” Then Herod summoned the wise men secretly and ascertained from them what time the star had appeared. And he sent them to Bethlehem, saying, “Go and search diligently for the child, and when yo have found him, bring me word, that I too may come and worship him. After listening to the king, they went on their way. And behold, the star that they had seen when it rose went before them until it came to rest over the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy. And going into the house, they saw the child with Mary his mother and they fell down and worshiped him. Then, opening their treasures, they offered him gifts of gold and frankincense and myrrh. And being warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they departed to their own country by another way.”

Wisemen - were there three of you? Tradition says so. Probably because three gifts are mentioned. Some say that your names were Melchior, Gaspar and Balthazar. We know you were scholars from the East - probably Persia. You followed a star for a very long time. You wandered for months - perhaps years - always looking to the sky! Seeking the new King. You had gifts to give Him. I imagine Mary and Joseph and the child - Jesus - now a toddler - were in wonder when you entered their house. Way to go - wisemen. Thank you for not ever giving up. It’s a reminder to me to do the same. Keep seeking. Keep asking. Keep following - not a star - but the King of Kings. Thank you for offering your gifts to the young Child. It reminds me to offer gifts too - my time - my energy - my presence - my faith - my love - my worship.

My Christmas wish this year - - -

Obey like Joseph!

Surrender like Mary!

Pray likfe Zechariah!

Cheer like Elizabeth!

Wait like Simeon!

Give thanks like Anna!

Rejoice like Shepherds!

Worship like Wise Men!

2025 IN REVIEW

JANUARY! Harv and I celebrated my 67th birthday in Antigua at the Grand Pineapple Resort!

FEBRUARY! Record snow days! So much snow! Cancelled busses - 30 school days missed this winter because of snow!

MARCH! Harv and I visited Curacao for the month. It was hot - sunny - beautiful - and wonderful. Julie and I climbed a mountain. We swam in the beautiful sea. Friends from Port Elgin were on a cruise and stopped at the island for a day.

APRIL! House Renos complete. Visits with the fam!

MAY! Sara participated in the Canadian music championships in Toronto. I was so very proud of all the kids as they did “their thing”. Ottawa J’s participated in the Ottawa marathon weekend.

JUNE! Graduations! Track meets! Beach days! Pickle Ball!

JULY! Picnics! Swimming! Canada Day! Pickle Ball!

AUGUST! Camp Jolliffe! Go - Karting! Pickle Ball! Lake Huron.

SEPTEMBER! Back to school! Sibling Reunion! Blue Jays Game! 1,000 island cruise at Brockville.

OCTOBER! Thanksgiving!

NOVEMBER! Harv’s birthday! 5 km run! Women’s conference!

DECEMBER! Christmas prep! Sister Sue’s birthday party! Pickle Ball tournament! Full moons! School sports!

And that’s a wrap on the old year - the last full moon of the year - setting over the lake!

Each and every Sunday our Pastor closes the service with this verse - “May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13)

Truly this past year - God has given me hope - mixed in joy and peace - as I continue in my journey.

TRUST THE DETOUR

“Perhaps some detours aren’t detours at all. Perhaps they are actually the path”. (Katherine Wolf)

I’ve been thinking a lot about my sister, Sue, this week. You see - today she turns 80! Her “fourscore” has arrived. She was born right at the end of the second world war - the third child to our parents - six more children would complete our family over the next 13 years - me - being the last! Being the youngest in our great big family - I’ve watched the lives of my siblings unfold - I’ve watched their comings and goings - their ups and downs - their gains and losses - their joys and sorrows - their straight and narrows - their wide detours. I’ve had the benefit to learn and grow with them and because of them.

Sue and Harry and their family have lived great adventures. In their early days of marriage - they worked at private colleges - where Harry taught and Susan nursed. Later, Harry pursued his calling into the local church ministry and that path led them to the Parry Sound area. Harry pastored and Sue continued in her nursing career in a doctor’s office. For twenty - five years +, Sue was a beacon of strength to her patients - exhibiting kindness and grace and love. (Fun fact! Sue worked for a doctor - D.C. - who is the father of my daughter-in-law, Jen. Her dad quoted at the time when Jen told her parents she was newly dating - “any nephew of Susan Kleinhuis must be a good man!” Thanks Sue)

Harry and Sue were expecting their second child in the summer of ‘69 - living near Edmonton, Alberta. Dad and Mom told us kids (Phil, Tim and I) - pack your bags! We’re driving west this summer. What an adventure. What a long car ride. I spent most of it lying on the back window ledge - staring at the great, big sky. (No seatbelts in those days). We left Cornwall on a beautiful - summer July morning - and drove to Sault Saint Marie - where we camped at Pancake Bay on Lake Superior. The rain started before the campfire was out - and rain it did - hard - all night - everything was soaking wet. The next morning I remember sitting in the car while Dad and Mom packed up the tent trailer - because that’s what parents do. We were off for Day Two. We had driven north for about an hour or two (in the driving rain) when the traffic came to an abrupt stop. Nothing was moving. And then - we saw that cars were turning around and heading south. The culprit - a washed out bridge. No one would be moving north that day nor for several weeks until that bridge was repaired. Dad turned the car and tent trailer around and back to the “Sault” we went - crossed the bridge to the USA and travelled west that way.

My first detour in life. I watched my parents take the change of plans in hand - perhaps frustrated at first - but then - taking it all with great grace - restraint and acceptance. A lesson that I needed to learn early in life because I would certainly face my own detours in the years to come.

Many, many years later - after graduating from Seminary (both Randy and I finished our undergraduate degrees in 1980) - after pastoring in our first church for almost eight years - after the birth of our three sons - after pastoring our second church for eleven years - we would soon receive a call from a church in Cambridge to begin our ministry there. We moved our three teen-aged sons to this new location - fully expecting to have a long, wonderful experience.

(Caution - Detour Ahead!)

Fifteen months later - we were voted out - let go - fired! It seemed like a bad dream. A nightmare really. We weren’t wanted. The church was dumping us. To this day - the reasons seem so lame. None - the - less - the church called a “confidence vote” and we didn’t get the necessary percentage to continue. (Not that we have wanted to with only 60 % of the church in our corner). Our sons were in grade 9, 10 and 11 at the time and they were rockstars through this whole experience. The kids were so supportive to us. Our friends and family stood with us. Detour. Not what we expected. Not what we wanted. Not what we had planned. My only prayer at the time was for our boys! How I prayed they would not be disillusioned with the local church. I loved the church - I still do. It has stood strong and firm for 2,000 years and continues to today. It’s just that - sometimes people get in the way of things that are really good. That detour led to another opportunity for ministry in the same city - where we prospered - where we encouraged men and women and children - where our sons thrived - and we grew in grace and wisdom and forgiveness.

“God is more interested in your development than your arrival. He cares more for your character than your comfort - your purity than your productivity.” (Dr. Tony Evans)

I absolutely love a particular story in the Bible - it’s found in John 4. Jesus and His disciples were on their way back to Galilee and it’s reported that Jesus took a major detour. "Now He had to go through Samaria”. Most everyone at that time knew that “respectable people” avoided Samaria. It was a rough area - the “other side of the tracks” kind of place - but someone was waiting there - someone who needed the Saviour’s touch - someone who needed to hear about “the living water” - someone who lived a life of shame - a life where others avoided her - she needed someone to be nice to her - and it would be Jesus. That detour led to a changed life. For the Woman at the Well - what first appeared to be a detour by Jesus, was indeed the most enriching experience of her life. She was forever changed.

In the last ten days or so - a detour has come my way. Mostly everyone who knows me - knows my passion is pickle ball - but you can’t play pickle ball if you have a “knife” sticking in your knee - at least that’s what it feels like. So I’m taking some time off! I’m on the couch - icing - resting - physio - trying to heal. I’m hoping and trusting this detour doesn’t last too long! I miss my pb friends. I miss the activity. I miss the adrenaline rush. But - I’m embracing this time - with grace and patience. I will heal.

Where I am today is no accident. God is using the situation I’m in right now to shape me and to prepare me for the place He wants to bring into tomorrow. I must trust Him with the plan.

My Dad once told me - “Martha - enjoy the journey - including the detours - just to arrive at the destination!” I hear you loud and clear - Dad! I’m listening. I know there is a lesson in here somewhere and I don’t want to miss it.

SAY IT NOW

“What if the people that mattered to you, the people you love and are grateful for, what if they are gone tomorrow? There is no benefit in waiting. This is your moment, so say it now.” 

I was listening to a podcast recently with Dr. Peter Attia (one of my favourite podcasters) who was discussing the impact of gratitude - serving others - embracing mortality and living intentionally. His guest was - Walter Green - author of the “Say It Now” movement. Walter spoke of his challenging childhood - discussed the impact that his father’s death at the age of 53 made on him - and how he was embracing mortality with a desire to finish strong. His movement shares insights on how to live intentionally - how to prioritize relationships - and - how to focus on others.

On the podcast - Green spoke of his year-long journey - mostly throughout the States but also other parts of the world - to visit 44 people who had significantly impacted his life. He talked about a time a friend asked him to organize a “celebration of life” after his passing. Green declined - and instead - convinced his friend to have a “living tribute” before he passed. The friend’s nearest and dearest gathered to celebrate how much he’d meant in their lives.

In 1922 - Green - formally launched the Say It Now movement.

Why do we wait to tell someone how much they mean to us? Why do we delay sharing words that can uplift another person? Why do we miss opportunities to enrich the lives of others? Why do we live we regrets?

Green encourages his listeners to break the cycle of postponement and to take action - by writing a letter - making a phone call - or meeting face to face. He wants us to create a cycle of intention and acknowledgement. He wants us to think and reflect on those who have helped us along the way - those who’ve made a difference in our lives!

Don’t assume you have time.

After listening to this podcast - I’ve been thinking of several people who have impacted my life and I’ve never taken the time to tell them. So…………here we go!

My high school math teacher - Mr. Marc S. Thank you for your encouragement through a very difficult grade 13 Functions class. I had already dropped Calculus and desperately wanted to drop the Functions class but you asked me to come in at lunchtime so you could tutor me - to explain things - over and over again. Thank you for not treating me like the dummy I was. Thank you for speaking to me in language that I could understand. Thank you for the many discussions we had besides math - conversations about religion - family - post secondary education - sports - politics - and the meaning of life. Thank you that you listened to and encouraged a young woman’s idealistic chatter and prattle and never once belittled me. You meant the world to me. I remember visiting you years later - you had moved on from teaching and were working for the school board. I arrived unannounced at your office - with my three wee sons - and you stopped what you were doing to catch up with me! You interacted with my boys and let them roam around in your office. You didn’t speak down to me for choosing motherhood over a career. Thank you. It was a fine hour together. By now - you will be older and grayer! I hope you are well and living out your life to the fullest.

Next………Mr. Ralph M…………..the organist and choir director at the church our family attended when I was a child. Thank you for instilling me the love of music at such a young age. I used to look up at the choir loft from my seat in the congregation and long for the day when I could join - when I could wear the white gown with the purple collar. You had to be in grade three to be in the junior choir. I could hardly wait. I learned so much from you. I learned to breathe in the right places - where the commas were - not in the middle of a two syllable word - how to sing in harmony - how to add dynamics to the music - but most important - how to tell the story I was singing so that my listeners would be drawn in. Thank you for giving me opportunities to sing solos and duets. Thank you for teaching me to love the old Hymns - to understand the theology that made these songs so strong and believable. I remember the year you organized a cantata for the teens and young adults in our church. It was amazing and we even “took it on the road”. I still remember the lyrics to some of those songs. You didn’t know it at the time - but you were the reason I became a music teacher of both voice and piano. You were the reason I led Christmas concerts at the churches I attended and the schools I taught at. You were the reason I still sing the hymns and songs I learned as a child. I’m sorry I never had the chance to tell you. You are long gone now - already in heaven - someday when I see you - I will tell you these things and more.

Another one………..Marie C………..friend and mentor when I was a young mom. Hi Marie. I want to thank you for taking me under your wing when I was a young mother with 3 little boys. You were a few years older and wiser and had parented for a number of years already. Thank you for spending time with me and my sons. Thank you for all the wonderful suppers you cooked for us to enjoy in your beautiful home. Thank you for taking my two older kids when my youngest was born - so I could enjoy quiet times with my newborn and get some much needed sleep. Thank you - because you were generous and caring - for taking me shopping every few months to help with my very pitiful wardrobe. You wanted me to “look” the part of a pastor’s wife and knew I couldn’t afford to shop on our salary. I’ll never forget that beautiful blue dress you purchased for me and those gorgeous heels - I felt amazing in that outfit and wore it for years. Thank you for opening up your home to us for two weeks when we visited you in California. You said “come” and that we did…….all five of us for our vacation. We laughed and cried and shared the stories after being apart for a few years. That vacation to LA is forever cemented in my brain. Thank you for sending a lovely card when Randy passed away. What a great blessing you were to me. You shared at that time that your life was in a good place - I trust it still is.

One more……….my brother - Tim…………You were three years - my senior. I never knew a time you weren’t in my life. You were my hero. You were my playmate. You were my sounding board. You’ve been gone for 31 years. Your death was such a shock to our family. It was so unexpected. We grieved and mourned for so long. I never had the chance to say how much I loved you and how thankful I was for you in my life. Thank you for walking to school with me when you could have raced ahead to be with your friends. Thank you for encouraging me to join the badminton club - even though I was the youngest of the neighbourhood group - you wanted me there too. Thank you for inviting me to go running with you and your friends. Thank you for cheering me when I was playing high school sports. I knew you were in the crowd of supporters. Thank you for being a groomsman at my first wedding. You stood - proud - in the row of groomsmen - supporting Randy on our wedding day. Thank you for coming all the way south from Red Lake (even though you did forget to get my honeymoon luggage out of your trunk and into Randy’s trunk.) Thank you for the visits you made to our home after we were both married with kids and also opening your home to us for summer vacations. We had so much fun together. Two young couples - with littles all around. I watched you - as you loved Lorraine - as you loved Scott and Jillian - as you worked hard in the north - as you visited Mom and Dad as often as you could - as you took a leadership role in your church and northern community - I watched and admired you. I never told you and you’ve been gone for so long. I look forward to the day we are reunited. Love you so much big Bro.

I’m so thankful that on the morning over 11 years ago - the morning Randy collapsed while running and never regained consciousness - that we hadn’t left anything unsaid. We were pretty prompt at talking through disagreements and working things out. We had regular chats about our marriage - where we were at - how each of us was doing. I’m forever grateful. No regrets. Nothing left unsaid.

Randy and I both loved Asian Food and at one particular restaurant in Alliston they gave out candies - the ones that were wrapped in green cellophane. Both of us always took the candies (even though we didn’t like them) and then hid them around the house for the other to find. In the underwear drawer! In the tool box! In amongst my makeup! They always showed up. Imagine my surprise months after Randy’s passing to find one of those cellophane wrapped candies in the toe of my winter boot. I laughed and cried all at the same time. It was our game. It was our love language. It was who we were. Even after Randy was in heaven - he was saying it!

SAY IT NOW. Your peeps need to hear your words of love - of thanksgiving - of gratefulness. They need to hear why they were instrumental in your life - how they helped you become who you are today.

Don’t delay. Tomorrow isn’t promised.

THE NICENE CREED

The purpose of a creed is to provide a doctrinal statement of correct belief among Christians amid controversy. The original Nicene Creed was first adopted at the First Council of Nicaea in 325. A group of theologians and scholars met and 218 words later - a succinct definition of Christianity was put on paper and has been recited ever since - in churches - cathedrals and homes - all around the world.

I find it interesting that for the 1700 years since the Nicene Creed was penned - mankind still struggles to define what they believe about God. According to C.S. Lewis - people usually fall into three categories concerning their belief in God - “People think that Jesus is either a liar - a lunatic - or Lord!” Sometimes I’m asked what I believe - why I believe - why God is such an important part of my life. Sometimes people think I’m crazy. Sometimes they want to hear more. Sometimes they want God part of their life too. Perhaps you grew up - reciting this creed or a creed like it - in the church you attended.

For the past ten weeks the Pastors at my church have taken the Creed - broken it down - explained it - recited it - and sought to instil the truths of it in our hearts and minds. I have not done a study on this creed or any other creed for a very long time and each week - I eagerly anticipated the upcoming section that would be studied.

We believe in one God, the Father Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all things visible and invisible.

And in one Lord Jesus Christ, the only Son of God. Light from Light. True God from true God, begotten, not made; of the same essence as the Father. Through Him all things were made. For us and for our salvation He came down from heaven; He became incarnate by the Holy Spirit and the virgin Mary - was made human. He was crucified for us under Pontius Pilate. He suffered and was buried. The third day He rose again, according to the Scriptures. He ascended to heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again with glory to judge the living and the dead. His Kingdom will never end.

And we believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life. He proceeds from the Father and the Son. And, with the Father and the Son is worshipped and glorified. He spoke through the prophets.

We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic church. We affirm one baptism for the forgiveness of sins. We look forward to the resurrection of the dead and to life in the world to come. Amen.

I love to take notes when the Pastor is preaching - so the following are some of my favourite quotes form the last ten weeks.

Be grounded in the truth not emotion.

My truth affects my behaviour.

What you believe determines how you live.

Everything is created on purpose and with purpose.

If you stand for nothing - you’ll fall for anything.

Christ is either the Creator or the created! What I believe determines how I live.

Jesus is not made by God but God made known.

I stand between the Resurrection and the Return.

Live today as if it’s my last day.

Baptism isn’t a confession of perfection. It’s a confession of redemption.

My story doesn’t end in the grave.

Augustine - “You have made us for yourself O Lord - our hearts are restless until they rest in You.”

C.S. Lewis - “ The Son of God became a man to enable men to become sons of God.”

Athanasius - “Christ became what we are so that He might make us what He is.”

Resurrection tells us death doesn’t win. Renewal tells us brokenness doesn’t win. Eternity tells us separation doesn’t win. Heaven doesn’t contain God. God contains heaven.

I’m thankful for my heritage - for my grandparents and parents who lived their faith in front of me - who faithfully taught it to me - who encouraged me to embrace it and make it my own. I’m thankful for faithful pastors - who take the responsibility of preaching - seriously - who teach the whole truth.

“And I am certain that God who began the good work within me - will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”

THE WOMAN'S CONFERENCE

I haven’t been to a woman’s conference in years - COVID got in the way - of so many things really! But when I heard that Beth Moore was coming to Toronto - my sister - Brenda - and I got tickets immediately. That was last April. For the last 7 months, we’ve anticipated the gathering. (Gather is my word for 2025 so it seemed fitting to “gather” with a large group of women before the year was finished). Almost 2,000 of us in one large auditorium to sing and be encouraged.

I’ve been to several women’s conferences in my day. A few in particular stand out. Once I travelled with Brenda and two Cambridge friends to a Women of Faith conference in Columbus Ohio. It was 2009! It was just months after Randy and I were “let go” from our church and we’re enjoying a sabbatical year in Westport, Ontario. The conference was a healing weekend - laughter with my “sisters” and tears of release or the pain and humiliation. The music and speakers poured God’s love into me that weekend and I came away refreshed.

The second conference that comes to mind - was shortly after Randy passed away. My friends encouraged me to attend a smaller, more intimate weekend in the Muskokas. It was only 4 months! My heart was so tender and the grief was plausible. From the very first song of the evening - I knew I wouldn’t last. From the opening remarks of the speaker (not her fault but she was speaking on marriage and the husband/wife relationship) I was doomed. I didn’t last. My friend packed up my suitcase and drove me home. I wasn’t ready. It was too much.

Beth Moore! You may wonder who she is. She is a wife - mother - author - and bible teacher. She founded (along with her husband, Keith) Living Proof Ministries - an organization meant to teach women. She speaks at arena events and has written countless books and Bible study guides. The Toronto event was her last engagement for the year.

Part of the weekend was spent seeing and visiting with friends I hadn’t seen in years……having pastored in 4 different communities over 35 years of church ministry - I’ve met a lot of people - 1980 - 1987 (Orillia) - 1987 - 1998 (Listowel) - 1998 - 2009 (Cambridge) - 2010 -2014 (Alliston). The churches we served in provided friendships that last to this day.

Beth Moore spoke on 1 Corinthians 13. “Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. It is not self-seeking and is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects - always trusts - always hopes - always persevere.”

The title of her weekend message was - Love Amid No Pretty Little Life! Love is not an option and not many of us have a perfect life. In fact - most of our lives are messy. Most of our lives have difficult seasons and most of our lives have messy and difficult people to deal with. Sometimes the messiness and difficulties are right inside of us.

In the midst of this messiness - Beth encouraged us - that while our hearts may be fragile, our love must be fierce. It is not without emotion. It is not without passion. It is not without sentiment or reaction. But it is resilient. Strong. Tough. Hardy. I’m reminded of the story Jesus told of a Dad - who gave an inheritance to his youngest son. The young man left home and squandered all the money on parties - women - and wild living but soon was penniless. Meanwhile the Dad was back home - watching and waiting - for his son’s return - not knowing if it would ever happen. I imagine that evening after evening - he sat in his rocking chair - on his front porch - scanning the long driveway - hopeful - watching for his beloved to return. And then one day it happened - the prodigal returned - but instead of scolding - the Dad threw a celebration. His heart had been broken but his love remained sturdy.

Next Beth showed us - that a love so inclined is of no human origin. We must pursue love as a hunter chases after his prey. This kind of love doesn’t come naturally. It’s easy to love the lovely. It’s easy to get along with the nice ones. But - what about the prickly ones? The crabby ones? The ones that irritate? Crochety? Snarky? Snippy? Ah! Loving those takes extraordinary love. It may not be easy but it is doable.

Before Friday night was over - Beth shared - that this love is first received not achieved. We cannot extend to others what we don’t possess ourselves. We read out loud together - all 1600 women - 1 Corinthians 13 - as a prayer - receiving the words as if God were speaking them directly to us. Beth encouraged us to receive these words from Scripture as a gift. We can’t earn them. We can’t buy them. We can’t steal them from someone else. They are given to us in order for us to pass on to others.

That was Friday night.

Brenda and I went to our hotel for the night. We laughed and talked but soon dimmed the lights and were fast asleep. Once in the night I woke to hear Brenda mumbling something - I wish I could have understood her garble. It was such a joy to spend the time together. It doesn’t happen often enough anymore. I love her. She has always led the way for both of us.

Saturday morning!

It doesn’t matter that there are some people who don’t like me - some who don’t love me. It’s okay. It’s absolutely okay.

I am loved by the God of the universe. Can that be enough? Absolutely. Everything else is gravy!

Love has to recognize that sometimes you have to withdraw for a time. That’s also absolutely okay.

Deal with differences immediately. Don’t go to sleep at night if you are in a disagreement with a loved one. Once the difficulty has been talked through - dealt with - never bring it up again. It’s done! Never keep a list of wrongs! God doesn’t! Why should we?

Love has a face and one day we will see Him - God our Father! Heaven awaits.

There are 32 days left of this old year. Time enough to change some habits or reinforce these life lessons. Perhaps live different than the last 333 days. Live them realizing how precious your life is and the lives of your immediate family and close friends. Finish this year strong. Don’t focus on the past - mistakes that were made - harsh words were spoken that perhaps were better left unsaid! Focus on now. Give yourself a blank slate and colour it with love.