Maybe because the calendar turned over another year for me - or maybe with the realization that my mom’s passing occurred 5 years ago this past week - or maybe that half of my grandchildren (and three more are very close) are taller than me - or maybe (between two husbands) I’ve been married for 45 years - or maybe that’s it’s January in Bruce County and I’ve had a lot of time for reminiscing - I’ve been thinking of the markers that have shaped my life. Specific events that make me who I am today. Circumstances that changed things for me. Landmark happenings. I came up with 12!

#1. I was the 9th child born to Stan and Alice Castle. My heritage is very important to me. I could have been born anywhere in the world - could have been born to anybody - but I believe that in the providence of God - so my birth in my family is no accident. My parents raised a large family and taught us to love God, love our family and friends - work hard - play hard and grow up to be strong, contributing adults. My Dad worked at the “mill” - Domtar and my Mom stayed home to care for us. They were faithful members of the Baptist church and took us all to Sunday School and church each week - we sang in the choirs and went to youth group. It was never a burden for me. I miss my parents. I miss their wisdom and wit. I miss their presence in my life but I have them in my heart. Being born a “Castle” defined my life.

#2. My Mom’s cancer diagnosis when I turned 16. On my 16th birthday - my mom was diagnosed with cancer. I was so scared. All my sisters and brothers had left “the nest” by then - it was just Dad and I home that day. It was a Saturday. I can still see where the phone was in the hallway - where the conversation was taking place - where the news was bad! I thought my Mom was going to die! She didn’t though. Her surgery took place and although the year following was difficult - Mom lived for more than 46 years after that fateful Saturday. That particular day - though - I decided to make everyday count. Not a day would go by that I wouldn’t live life to the fullest. Not a day would go by where I would live with regrets or bitterness. Not a day would go by where I wouldn’t tell my Mom how much I loved her. I did just that until she passed away in our home ten minutes before my birthday in 2021.

#3. My moment when I got serious about being a Christ follower. I was 17 and I attended a youth event at my church. It wasn’t anything new. I had heard sermons and lessons all my life but that day it was different. The speaker challenged our generation of teenagers if we would be difference makers. It was 1975 - 51 years ago! Do you remember the 70’s? Drugs - Sex - and Rock and Roll! He asked us to be “out of the ordinary”. To be sincere. To be radically uncommon. That day I made a promise that I would! It’s a decision I’ve never regretted.

#4. My marriage. Randy and I were married in June of 1979 and our marriage was good - for 35 years until he suddenly passed away. June 2nd, 1979 was a magical day - sunny and hot - and all our family and friends gathered to celebrate our union. Randy and I planned to go into full-time ministry after graduation from seminary and so we chose as our wedding hymn - Living For Jesus. “Living for Jesus a life that is true, striving to please Him in all that we do, Yielding allegiance, glad-hearted and free, this is the pathway of blessing for me.” I’m grateful for those 35 years. We were kids when we got married and we grew up together. We learned lots of things the hard way. Randy grew up in a family that had two children - a family where my father-in-law “ran the show”. I grew up in home that had nine children - where my Dad worked regular shifts so my Mom “ran the home”. She taught all of us to be strong and independent. In the early days - Randy and I had some interesting conversations - because of how we were raised. We worked it out though and life hummed along so very nicely for us - as we raised our children - as we aged - as we leaned into God’s goodness for each other and individually. I know how loved I was by Randy - how he always had my back - how he always wanted my best - it went both ways. We were a good team.

#5. #6. #7. My sons! I’ve written so much about my boys through the years. Each of their births changed my life. Zac - January 15, 1982 - Red letter day! Ben - April 6, 1983 - Celebration day! Pete - August 20,1984! Day to Remember. My life was totally changed for the better - forever. Not a day - sometimes not an hour - goes by - that my mind isn’t wandering to Kitchener - to Ottawa - and to right here in Kincardine - wondering how their day is going - wondering how their family life is going - wondering if work is going good or great. My mind wanders back to when they were preschoolers and I had the opportunity to pour everything I had into their lives during those days - and the the night-time routines - 20 minutes with each son - lying down with them and talking about their day - singing to them - praying with them. As they grew older, they didn’t need me in the same way - they put themselves to bed - they got themselves up in the morning - and then one day - they were gone. Empty nest. The house was too quiet. There were no empty glasses left in the family room. No empty chip bags. No running shoes scattered by the back door. No knock on the door with their friends popping by. Our job was complete. But was it? Not really. It still goes on today but in a different way…….and it will until I take my last breath. Always a mom.

#8. Tim’s death. My brother died in a canoeing accident on a beautiful afternoon in the summer of 1994. The call came on a Sunday night - just after midnight - the early hours of July 25th. I could tell from Randy’s voice that it was bad news - someone had died. As I listened I thought - probably someone from our church family - not ever imagining in a thousand years that it was my beloved big brother - Tim. Our brother Ted was making the calls to each of us siblings - relating the very sad news - Tim had drowned Sunday afternoon in the McKenzie River near his home. No one - remotely close to me - had ever died. My grandparents - yes - but weren’t they supposed to die? Not siblings. We were all devastated. We cried. We grieved. We knew life would never be the same again. But I also became more aware of other’s sufferings. Other families had the same things happen to them. I learned to be more compassionate and learned to lean into others who would go through the death of a loved one and support them. I also learned to trust in God’s gracious love and knowledge that death is not the end but only the beginning of life in heaven. “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints.” Psalm 116:15

#9. Ministry in a fish bowl. We began pastoring in Cambridge in the late 1990’s and completed that part of our lives in 2009. This marker is a difficult one. We began in 1998 with such high hopes - we were excited for this new chapter in our lives to begin. The boys were all in high school and had embraced the move to the city. They immediately found great friends - both at the church and at their school - excelled in the classroom and in the gym. We felt it was a good fit all the way around - until it wasn’t. Without sugar coating things - after 16 months of ministry and fantastic growth - some church members felt threatened by the growth and change - and very soon we knew our days were numbered. After several meetings (them wanting us to resign quietly - we didn’t) - a non-confidence vote was called and we lost. We were fired without cause. Painful - absolutely. But in another sense - grateful - we wouldn’t have to tiptoe around and throughout those painful weeks - our boys were rockstars. They were a tremendous support to us in those days - mature beyond their years. For the next 9 years we served in the same community in a tiny church and the people blessed us with their love for us and for the ministry. Near the end of our tenure in Cambridge, the little church we were serving in joined a major network - headquartered in the States - and they decided to bring their own pastor in rather than keep us on. Once again we were shepherds without sheep. The thing is - our faith is in God - not people. People are fickle and change. God doesn’t change. And so we waited and trusted God for the next thing. After a year of waiting and praying and trusting - God led us to a wonderful, caring group in Alliston - where we would be loved for the next four years. After those experiences I have a strong affinity to support our pastors and their families. Love them. Support them. Enough said.

#10. Marriages of my sons. Ben and Jen were married in 2007. Pete and Heather in 2008. Zac and Tracy in 2009. Their Dad married all three of them. I had a new role - mother-in-law. After living in a very testosterone dominated house - things were changing. I had daughters (in-law). I watched how my sons began dating - watched them fall in love - listened to the plans and hopes and dreams. I learned from another friend that M-I-L’s should do three things - keep quiet - nod your head in agreement - and wear beige! All joking aside - I did my best to be supportive and love our “girls”. All these years later - I’m ever so grateful for Tracy and Jen and Heather. They are the perfect mates for my sons - they are smart and intelligent women - and great moms to their kids. I read this statement years and years ago - “You had the opportunity to “run” your own household - don’t try to run your d-i-l’s!” Good advice. I pray for them each day and offer support where I can. These six have my heart.

#11. Randy’s death in 2014. My adult life is divided into two parts - before Randy died - and - after Randy died. I wrote this on August 21, 2014. “It shouldn’t have happened. It is an anomaly outside of Divine intervention. It occurred to me that Randy’s death shouldn’t have happened. James (his running buddy) was there - right with him - and started CPR immediately. An off-duty police officer stopped 30 seconds after Randy collapsed. A doctor “happened” to be cycling by and also stopped. But - God was arranging Randy’s home going. God really does rule the whole world. God rules over the calamities in my life. Pain is real. God is not against me. He is for me. God is in control. God is faithful. Because of Randy’s life - I trust other lives will be changed. May God be glorified. If I try to get God off the hook of His sovereignty - I lose it for my sustaining future. I don’t need to know why. I don’t need to understand. I need to trust.” And I did. I leaned into God like never before. Since the day of Randy’s collapse - I have had countless opportunities to encourage other widows and help them through their grief and loss.

#12. My marriage to Harv. My last marker (thus far) is this. In late 2015 - when I was not looking for a second husband - God had someone already picked out for me. A man who - loves God - was married for 34 years - was a dad to two daughters - and also a widower. A man who - like me - had lost his spouse to death and was very much alone. Two lonely and alone people - God brought together. It was a quick courtship but when you know - you know. We married in April 2016. I’m so grateful for Harv and our life together. That first year of marriage we used Deuteronomy 24:5 - as the key to a successful relationship! “If a man has recently married, he must not be sent to war or have any other duty laid on him. For one year he is to be free to stay at home and bring happiness to the wife he has married!” Harv and I spent one year doing everything together and I do believe we brought great happiness to each other. And now ten years later - Harv golfs and I play pickle ball but always at the end of the day - we’re there for each other. Our home - on Boiler Beach - is a place where family and friends gather for meals and swims and camp fires and overnights. Our marriage continues to grow stronger as we allow lean into God’s Word - Love is patient and kind. It is not jealous - not pompous - not inflated. Love is not rude - it does not seek its own interests. It is not quick tempered and does not rejoice over wrong doings, but rejoices in the truth. Ten years! We’re only just getting going.

Thousands of years ago - Joshua - the leader who brought God’s people into the Promised Land - was instructed by God to do this very thing. “Take twelve stones (markers) and place them where everyone can see - and when your children ask - ‘what do these markers mean’ - tell them.” My markers are for my children and grandchildren and friends and acquaintances to know all that God has done for me through my life - through the difficult, really hard times - and also through the really good - great times. All my life God has been faithful. All my life You have been so, so good. With every breath that I am able - I will sing of the goodness of God.