Ted would have turned 75 this week! Three years ago - cancer took his body but not his soul.

Ted was born on March 28, 1951 - the 6th child of our parents - there would be three more children added to the family. Our older brothers and sisters could speak about Ted’s childhood years but - as the younger - I can only speak of Ted as my much loved older brother.

Ted was 7 when I was born (Harry - born in 1950 - Philip - born in 1953 and Tim born in 1955) - five of us born in the fifties - a magical time to grow up.

Ted was gifted in so many ways - an A student - an athlete - really - an all around nice guy. He was the first one in our family to attend university and after graduating from St. Lawrence high school - off he went to Waterloo. One spring break - I took the train from Cornwall all the way to Waterloo to visit him. That was an adventure. After his undergraduate degree was completed - he went on to Law School in Ottawa. Upon graduation - Ted went back to Cornwall and joined a law firm where he served our hometown community for 40 years - as a lawyer and as a faithful citizen. Ted married his high school sweetheart, Irene, in 1972.

Ted was generous - to so many - and to me personally. For all those years he handled wills and business transactions for everyone in our great big family and wouldn’t take a cent in return.

February 2010 - Randy and I were living in Westport. We were enjoying a sabbatical from the local church ministry - waiting for the next ministry opportunity to find us. We hosted the family day holiday that year in Westport and many of our eastern Ontario family came for an afternoon/evening of pond hockey, sliding, games, Olympic games, food and fun. At the end of this incredibly fun family day, Ted slipped me a note. Later in the evening, I opened it. He told me how very proud he was of me - having been put in difficult circumstances that year and remaining steadfast and joyful - included in the envelope was a cheque! “Go on a holiday!” Unexpected blessing. Ted was like that.

2014 - July! Ted was broken hearted for me when Randy died. We chose to bury Randy in Westport. Having pastored in three different communities - we didn’t really have a home - and so after some deliberation with my boys, we decided on Westport. This adorable village in eastern Ontario had been a rest stop for us from ministry - so it would be Randy’s final resting place. The graveside service was difficult but beautiful. It was a sunny, very warm July day - perfect really - cloudless blue sky and our friend, Steve Fleming led us gently and lovingly.

When we were back at the church for the lunch - unbeknownst to me - two things happened. My oldest son, Zac - overwhelmed with grief - stepped outside out of the crowded church hall. Ted saw Zac leave - followed him outside and wrapped his arms around my son and held him. Both of them crying - both of them overcome with grief. It was only weeks before Ted’s own death, that Zac told me how much Ted had done for him that day. An uncle comforting his young nephew. An uncle trying to help make sense of an unexpected death. An uncle being present in the moment of overwhelming grief.

The second thing that happened that day was something I wasn’t prepared for. While still in Westport, I received a text from the funeral home to stop by before I headed home to Everett - to pay the funeral bill. I was upset. The tears came quickly. I had just buried my husband. The memorial service hadn’t even happened yet - but once again - Ted stepped in. He went with me to the funeral home - took care of the bill - “don’t worry about it!” (I paid him later when my head was functioning!) Ted was like that. Always generous. Always doing the right thing at the right time. He noticed needs and met them.

January - 2023 - we were in Florida - Bob and Lynn, Ted and Irene - Harv and I. We golfed together. We ate meals together. We went to church together. We played cards and games. Ted and Irene even played a pickle ball game with us.

But….all through January - Ted wasn’t feeling great. Early February - after returning home - Ted called with the news that - after several tests - he had cancer. His voice was strong but raw. He was prepared for some hard days but he never had a chance. The cancer ate him from the inside out and he passed away on Monday, May 22, 2023.

His siblings had the opportunity to say our goodbyes on the Saturday and Sunday prior to his passing - my turn was on the Sunday afternoon - just hours before his faith in Jesus became sight. Ted was too weak to speak - but still tried to crack a smile. I sang to him - a couple of hymns we knew from our childhood - I told him I loved him - that he was always my beloved older brother - and soon, we all would be joining him in heaven. Ted passed away hours later, surrounded by his wife and daughters.

At the conclusion of Ted’s funeral service, the lawyers and judges from the Cornwall area dressed in their robes and colours and lined his final journey. I’d never seen anything like it before. It was a remarkable sight and showed such respect for my big brother.

Ted left a big hole in the lives of his wife, his daughters and their families, his siblings, his community, his friends and his church.

I miss you big bro! Eternally grateful for your impact on my life.